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Furn_Darkside
First Post
Rival college?
I use to say that about the communication majors at my own university.
FD
I use to say that about the communication majors at my own university.
FD
Xastalask
First Post
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a
question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologised and said he didn't realise that a little tap could scare him so much. The driver replied
"Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab
driver - I've been driving 'hearses' for the last 25 years!!!!!"
question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologised and said he didn't realise that a little tap could scare him so much. The driver replied
"Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab
driver - I've been driving 'hearses' for the last 25 years!!!!!"
A duck walks into a bar and looks to the bartender. "Do you have any raisins?", he asks. The bartender looks to the duck and says, "No, we don't have any raisins."
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes in a gain. He goes to the bartender. "Do you have any raisins?", he asks. The bartender scowls, "No, we don't have any raisins."
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes in yet again. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any raisins?" The bartender steams in anger. "NO! We don't have any raisins. And, listen here, if you ever come in here again asking for raisins, I'm gonna nail your bill to the bar!"
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes in again. The bartender glares at him. He asks, "Do you have any..." The bartender stares him down, "Yes?" The duck continues, "Do you have any...nails?" The bartender, astonished, says, "No."
The duck continues, "Good, do you have any raisins?"
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes in a gain. He goes to the bartender. "Do you have any raisins?", he asks. The bartender scowls, "No, we don't have any raisins."
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes in yet again. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any raisins?" The bartender steams in anger. "NO! We don't have any raisins. And, listen here, if you ever come in here again asking for raisins, I'm gonna nail your bill to the bar!"
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes in again. The bartender glares at him. He asks, "Do you have any..." The bartender stares him down, "Yes?" The duck continues, "Do you have any...nails?" The bartender, astonished, says, "No."
The duck continues, "Good, do you have any raisins?"
SableWyvern
Cruel Despot
A piece of string wanders into a bar, strolls up to the barman and orders a beer.
"I can't serve you," says the barman.
"Why ever not?" asks the piece of string.
"You're a piece of string!"
Grumbling to himself, the string meanders off in a humph. Having left the bar, he wanders round the corner, ties himself up and ruffles up one of his ends.
With a smirk on his face, the piece of string wanders back in and straight up to the barman.
"I'll have a beer thanks!"
"I can't serve you," the barman insists.
"Why not?" asks the string.
"You're that same piece of string that was just in here."
Replies the string, "No, I'm afraid not."
"I can't serve you," says the barman.
"Why ever not?" asks the piece of string.
"You're a piece of string!"
Grumbling to himself, the string meanders off in a humph. Having left the bar, he wanders round the corner, ties himself up and ruffles up one of his ends.
With a smirk on his face, the piece of string wanders back in and straight up to the barman.
"I'll have a beer thanks!"
"I can't serve you," the barman insists.
"Why not?" asks the string.
"You're that same piece of string that was just in here."
Replies the string, "No, I'm afraid not."
SableWyvern
Cruel Despot
What's long, brown and sticky?
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A stick.
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A stick.
Heretic Apostate
First Post
There's a story about an MIT student who spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football team, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.
