212 Odd, Useless, Interesting, and other wise non-sensical magic items

[kenobi65]

Dinner Stone

This is a small, smooth, river stone, about the size of a gold piece. When placed in an open container (e.g., a bowl), and the command word is spoken (commonly "tendrvittles" or "comngetit"), the stone creates enough food to feed one size S creature. Wise owners will remove the stone from the bowl before their pet or familiar begins to eat, just in case. Usable once per day.

 

[Presto2112]

Eyes of Blinking:

These items are clear crystal lenses that fit over the eyes of the wearer. Once worn, they cannot be seen by anyone else without a successful Spot check (DC 25). The wearer of these items is able to utter a command word and start an effect similar to the blink spell. This blink is considerably more controlled than the spell, however. Instead of randomly blinking in and out of the Ethereal Plane, the wear is able to blink in and out of the Ethereal Plane whenever she blinks her eyes as a free action. As long as she keeps her eyes closed, she remains on the ethereal plane, and whenever her eyes are open she remains on the Prime Material Plane. Since your eyes are closed on the Ethereal Plane, the wearer cannot see her surroundings there; she must use other means to navigate her way about. The blinking eyes emulate all other aspects of the blink spell. Partial closing of the wearer’s eyes, such as from squinting or winking, does not affect the blinking eyes. Blinking eyes work for blind wearers just as well as for sighted wearers. The blink effect lasts for 1 minute, up to three times per day.

 

[Evilhalfling]

Maids Bell
a small silver hand bell, casts presigitation when rung. If used more than 3 times in a day a 2nd inconvienent effect will accompany each addtional use.

Sword of Normaility see sig.
This sword appears to be of the crudest make, appearing similar to a sharpened crowbar. It is intellegent with a wisdom of 13, and empathy for communication. It grants the wielder +5 to profession innkeeper and farmer.
It wants the wielder to return to normal society and give up adventuring.
It will use empathy to make inns seem more comfortable, homecooked meals taste better and putting on armor seem tedious.
It also dislikes one type of unnatural creature, and acts as a bane weapon of random type. IMC Outsider(far realm)

Ring of turnning:
will cause any non living object to turn over. max wgt 50 lbs, range 30 ft
created by a cook, but stolen by a thief, no used to leave no stone unturned

 

[Ferret]

Stab In The Dark: This well crafted dagger appears to be of masterwork quaility but belies none of it's magical properties. However whenever it is used, and caues a lethal quantity of damage it silences it's victim. Furthmore no mark is left when it would other wise break the skin except for a faint scarring, this takes effect even when the target is not killed.

 

[Henry]

Stab In The Dark: ...caues a lethal quantity of damage it silences it's victim. Furthmore no mark is left when it would other wise break the skin except for a faint scarring, this takes effect even when the target is not killed.

Waitaminute! That looks useful! How'd that get in here?

 

[TDRandall]

Well, I enjoyed this thread, so I think I'll go ahead and resurrect it to see if anyone else can come up with something "fun" to throw at your players.

I myself thought of a couple useless earrings to toss into the fray:

Earring of Cythenial translation: This earring automatically translates spoken Cythenial to its wearer, when spoken by a native Cythenian in the land of Cythen. (Substitute any language and nation mentioned above with one of your own world ... as long as it is a long dead language, and the land itself is long lost, buried, and forgotten ... hence it's uselessness.)

Earring of Astral Eavesdropping: The wearer is able to hear sounds in the Astral (and only from the Astral, so he will not gain benefits of hearing many Bard abilities, etc.), as if his ear were physically present at the location coplanar to his physical position on the material. During the 24 hour period directly after putting it on or removing it the wearer is effectively deaf as he attunes or readjusts from/to normal hearing. Any actual deafness inflicted on the wearer by spell or condition also deafens the listening on the Astral. (Given the general bleakness of the Astral, there is only a minimal chance to hear anything of note while wearing this, and even then most likely having nothing to do with the character or partner in any way.)

Earring of Pandemonium: Whoever wears it hears the winds (cries, shrieks, etc.) of Pandemonium filling their ears. Treat as if the character were physically present on that plane (which includes chances for deafness and/or madness, IIRC). Additionally, regular listen checks receive a -10 penalty, and concentration checks have a -6 penalty while the earring is worn.

 

[TDRandall]

'Doh! "partner" above should be "party". Meanwhile.....

(I don't think I "borrowed" this from elsewhere, but apologies to any offended if I inadvertantly picked up your idea.)

Wheels of inverse mobility: These wheels come in sets of two or four, and are suitable to be mounted on many sorts of carriages, carts, and wagons. Each is irregularly and differently shaped, and will decrease comfort and speed over normally ideal situations (road or plains) while surprisingly increasing comfort and speed over poor or even impassible but not physically impossible terrain (e.g. steep mountains and desert are ok, but thousand foot tall vertical cliff walls and deep mile-wide rivers without a bridge are still out). (For specific effects, alter the modifiers in the "Terrain and Overland Movement" table by subtracting the value from 1 1/2. Change the impassable modifier in the "Hampered Movement" table from a line to x1 and consider otherwise clear terrain to have a x3 modifier on that table.)

 

[TDRandall]

duplicate post deleted

 

[reason]

from Principia Infecta

Some from Principia Infecta (http://www.principiainfecta.com):

Bitter Roots from the Farthest Market
http://www.principiainfecta.com/archives/2005/01/bitter_roots_fr.php

The Year of Bitter Roots, yes, when strange Visitors appeared in the dockside market after the last snows. They and their beasts were piled high with roots, but they wouldn't trade with anyone until Menas found out it was statues they wanted. It was a sight! Port cleaned out of every last figurine and carving for bundled roots from the Farthest Market ... but stranger things have happened.

Ah, but the roots. The first taste was like a perfect pearl dissolving on your tongue while the memory of wealth warmed your heart, ending in the sigh of your first love. Everyone had to try it, but the second taste would only have you retching in the gutter. The third and fourth too for the stubborn ones. Only ever the one taste - bitter wizardry, I say, but what do you expect? Still, Menas and his cronies were counting coins until they ran out of buyers. Oh, the ill will wished upon them by half the traders in Port! I'll wager they have boxes of that wizardry from the Farthest hidden away yet. You know their sort - wouldn't throw a burned torch away if they thought there was a coin left somewhere in creation.

Peerless Blades
http://www.principiainfecta.com/archives/2005/01/peerless_blades_1.php

A sword that cannot be sheathed is of no use at all as a visible symbol of lordly status in Three Stones - city law is quite clear on the carrying of weapons within the walls. The Watch may turn a blind eye to nobles and their ornate locking scabbards (heavy enough to serve as a club), but a naked blade would certainly attract unwelcome attention. Thus it is that the Verden Blade gathers dust and cobwebs on a stone pedestal in the manse of the current Lord Verden of Three Stones.

The origin of the Peerless Blades is a matter for conjecture. One story tells of a swordsmith in training, Lost in the Farthest Workshop until he stumbles upon the Smith of All. Ammander troubadors prefer the comedic version: Jarn the Apprentice stumbles from frying pan to fire and back again in the course of forging his first sword, ultimately emerging victorious after many tribulations ... but with a sword so puissant it cannot be used.

Some old writings claim that the Datarii made the Blades, and that they would be foolish indeed to reveal this talent to the unruly folk who dwell under open skies. Sages usually suggest that any such overt wizardry dates back to the time of the Magi. The Corner once said, in a manuscript commissioned by the grandfather of the present Lord Verden, "Forged by Powers, sharp as thought, sheathed only in stone, come to us from far. A sword for war, a weapon for distant seasons. It is well for us all that so great and noble a figure watches over this Peerless Blade."

Lying Scales
http://www.principiainfecta.com/archives/2005/01/lying_scales_1.php

Lying Scales were once a curio, a trade good from distant lands and of no practical value to the Magi of the Vanished Isles. The two sides of a Scale balance in quite erratic and unexpected ways. The Datarii found such minor wizardry endlessly fascinating; they created ingenious new uses for these and many other similar novelties.

Less reputable folk have found their own uses for Lying Scales in the generations since the secret of their creation was traded to the stonefolk. Fortunately Scales of a form useful for deceit are quite rare now. Most are very old indeed, dating to a time before the Vanished Isles became Lost.

Reason

 

[frankthedm]

Scroll: Seen Servant
This looks to be a scroll of the spell "Unseen Servant", however careful examination will reveal that it was scribed in error and that part of the spell is missing. It can be learned as a normal spell.

When cast, it acts exactly like the spell "unseen servant" except that the servant which is conjured is visible to everyone. Unfortunately, the servant is an extraplanar being of such unspeakable horror that anyone who gazes upon it must make a Will save with a -10 penalty or run from the thing in abject terror. The servant will of course follow the caster, attepting to receive instructions from it's master. The servant looks different every time, so one cannot become inured to its appearance. There is a 1% chance that anyone falling prey to the terror of the servant will try to gouge out their own eyes rather than continue to look at the thing. However, if the caster is blind or blinfolded for the entire duration of the spell, it can be used safely. (He can simply shut his eyes before he casts, but if he gets even a glimpse of the thing he must make his save as normal).

Wand of Lightning Storms:
This finely carved wand appears to be a Wand of Lightning, and behaves as such. It can hold up to five charges and has the bonus of regenerating one charge every day. Unfortunately, wherever the bearer takes it, bad weather will follow. It will always be raining - anything from light drizzle to a torrential downpour and thunderstorm. This weather will persist no matter what the climate or season. Interiors will invariably be cold and damp, and the sun will almost never shine on the bearer for any reason.

I love that servant!!!

I might want to use that wand on my players, and add in some [lightning] rod qualities too.

Inferno Spear: This all metal spear is always aflame, dealing +2d6 [fire] to those who weild the weapon[each round] or are struck by it[each hit]. It automaticly supresses all magical effects that grant fire resistance on those it comes in contact with [duration of contact]. Those who remain within 30 feet of this weapon for over a minute have all possesed metal effected by a heat metal spell. There is no save granted for this effect and the effect remains at "round 3" of heat metal's duration untill the effected moves at least 30 feet from the spear.