Thorn slipped free of the aftermath of the battle quickly and returned to the palace. She resumed the form of a human female that she'd worn on first arriving in the White Vale, the form the people here would recognize as Thorn.
She received respectful looks from those she passed. More than one grinned gratefully, or waved, or even cheered. Elves and eladrin, willowy and graceful and beautiful despite the weight of years. Thorn hurried past them, face set in a stoic mask as she fought down the turmoil of unexpected emotions. She wanted to be one of them right now...or rather, she wanted to have what they had. Not just magic or immortality or haunting beauty, but that gentleness of society they created. There were no slums here, no desperate outcasts preying on passerbys. Everyone, no matter how far they'd fallen, had someone to care about them.
Thorn jogged through the great hall and throne room of the palace with a light step and knocked on the door to the back chambers. After the eyeslit darkened for a moment, the door opened. Answering it was Her Highness the Queen herself. She blinked at Thorn, then burst into a welcoming smile and let the Knight in.
"Lady Thorn, this is a surprise! I haven't heard back from the scouts yet..." she trailed off at the look on Thorn's face, and the shortness of her breath. "What news of the battle?" the Queen asked quietly.
"The...oh, the battle." Thorn shook her head. "It's won. There were losses, but everyone fought bravely and gave an accounting for themselves. The other knights are helping account and tend to the dead."
"That's good news," the Queen replied, relieved. Then concerned, "Which makes me wonder why your mood seems so dark."
Thorn turned away, then said woodenly, "It's hard to explain."
The Queen closed the door and went to sit beside her bed, watching Thorn intently all the while. "I'm patient. Take all the time you need."
"No, you don't...it's not hard to explain because I don't know how to. It's hard to explain to you. It will change your opinion of me."
At that the Queen was silent for a moment, then said, "But you came here to tell me?"
"Yes," Thorn answered. "In part. I came here to confess. But another part of me wanted to come here for another reason entirely."
"What reason?"
Thorn hesitated, then slumped her shoulders. "To kill you and take your place. To become you, and stay you, for the rest of my life."
There was a moment of silence at that, one that felt strained and awkward to Thorn. She shifted uncomfortably, imagining the Queen moving behind her, taking up her staff and coming towards her, raising the exalted weapon over her head to deal the death blow. Her scalp tingled with anticipation. Would it hurt? What would come after? For someone like her, what else COULD come after?
But when the Queen finally answered, her voice hadn't moved...and her tone was not fearful or angry. It was hard to read, but didn't seem either of those two things.
"Why?"
The hard part was done now, the 'cork' no longer in the bottle, and Thorn found herself putting into words what had been circling in her head and heart as she'd made the journey back to the Palace.
"Because everyone in the White Vale loves you. They believe in you, and for just a little while...they loved and believed in me." Pain squeezed into her voice through the tonelessness she strove for. "It felt so...warm, and I'd forgotten what that feels like. The thought of going back...was harder than I thought it would be. And through it all was this...knowing that you trusted me, and I could abuse that trust to get what you had for myself."
She swallowed thickly. "And it was a terrible thought...but sometimes it's not easy for me to 'feel' what's terrible anymore. There's just the dark...and the cold."
"You know," the Queen said softly...her voice was closer now, coming up behind Thorn. "That warmth you felt...it's not free. It's not enough for the people to love you...you have to love them too."
"I know!" Thorn agreed. "That was what was so startling for me. I haven't felt so...I don't know...protective, or tender...towards anything or anyone since...since...for a long time. But when I saw them looking at me like that, trusting me to lead them through this, I felt...I almost felt whole again."
"And that's why you wanted to kill me."
Thorn nodded, and actually flinched when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Why didn't you?"
Now Thorn shook her head, and said quietly, "Because if I ever gave in to the darkness that much...then darkness would be all I'd have left. I'd never feel warm, or whole again, and the sun would be black in my eyes. I'll know when I've gone too far...when I no longer care that I've gone too far."
"Hmm. Turn around."
Eyes wet, but tears still unshed, Thorn did so. The Queen of the White Vale stood there, hand reached out to rest on her shoulder, and as ethereal and gorgeous as a dream of heaven itself.
"Thorn, you're going to find that being a hero is, in its own way, just as rewarding as what you felt during your brief tenure as a queen. I hope you'll someday tell me what happened to you, for I can feel the chill from inside you even now...but this is not the time for that."
The Queen leaned forward and kissed Thorn's right cheek. "That is for saving the White Vale and its people." Then she turned Thorn's stunned face slightly and kissed her left cheek. "That is for saving me." She scooped up Thorn's nerveless hand in her own and stepped away to lead her towards the door.
"This will be a time of celebration, where we tell tales of the deeds of bravery that kept our land free, and where we honor the courage of the fallen who gave all anyone can give for their families, neighbors and Queen. And we will honor the heroes of the Vale, the knight protectors."
She smiled, and Thorn realized that the Queen had somehow managed to lead her back out into the great hall. "Rejoin your fellow knights for now, Thorn. And don't be overly troubled by the sometimes dark temptations you feel. We are judged not by the trials we face, but by the actions we take in facing them. The path of sacrifice, and redemption, is a difficult one, and often bitter...but follow it to the end, and I think you will have no regrets."
"Now, I have to prepare for the festivities. We can speak more later if you like."
And just like that, the door closed and Thorn was alone in the dimly lit great hall again. But she didn't FEEL alone. Her pale cheeks were lit with little blossoms of pink, and she felt slightly dizzy, and...warm. Very very warm. After a moment she turned around and jogged back out towards the Palace gates, whistling a cheerful tune as she went.
(finis!)