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- Thread starter Morrus
- Start date
- Status
House Rules (to the tune of Green Day's "Longview")
Sit around and roll the dice, but no one’s hitting,
Ain’t seen a crit for an hour or two
Argue the rules just for a bit
My old campaign is in a rut
Don’t like the ideas that I’ve got
And I'm going crazy
Boot my rig and go online
Log in to gamer paradise
EN World boards, I'm in a bind!
And I need some help!
Hit the rules forum and ask a question
Main page loads and there’s the news
Press releases and product links
Look left, skim the new reviews,
Glace at the poll question of the day,
I click the link to have my say,
And hit the forums,
Boot my rig and go online
Log in to gamer paradise
EN World boards, I'm in a bind!
And I need some help!
I got no inspiration
Where is my inspiration
No time for this agitation
Looking for inspiration
Surf around in the main forum, there’s Crothian posting,
Ask a rules question, and here comes Hypersmurf,
Diaglo grumbles about d20
“Been downhill since OD&D”
When third edition's lost its fun
It’s time for house rules
Boot my rig and go online
Log in to gamer paradise
EN World boards, I'm in a bind!
I post myself about my plight,
EN World boards, I'm in a bind!
Thread begins and ideas roll in
And my game is saved
Sit around and roll the dice, but no one’s hitting,
Ain’t seen a crit for an hour or two
Argue the rules just for a bit
My old campaign is in a rut
Don’t like the ideas that I’ve got
And I'm going crazy
Boot my rig and go online
Log in to gamer paradise
EN World boards, I'm in a bind!
And I need some help!
Hit the rules forum and ask a question
Main page loads and there’s the news
Press releases and product links
Look left, skim the new reviews,
Glace at the poll question of the day,
I click the link to have my say,
And hit the forums,
Boot my rig and go online
Log in to gamer paradise
EN World boards, I'm in a bind!
And I need some help!
I got no inspiration
Where is my inspiration
No time for this agitation
Looking for inspiration
Surf around in the main forum, there’s Crothian posting,
Ask a rules question, and here comes Hypersmurf,
Diaglo grumbles about d20
“Been downhill since OD&D”
When third edition's lost its fun
It’s time for house rules
Boot my rig and go online
Log in to gamer paradise
EN World boards, I'm in a bind!
I post myself about my plight,
EN World boards, I'm in a bind!
Thread begins and ideas roll in
And my game is saved
reveal
Adventurer
A Natural 20 - Sung to the tune of Aretha Franklin's "A Natural Woman" (And it helps to pronounce it "EHN-World" of "E N World" 
)
Surfing the Net with my morning coffee
(EN-World)
I used to feel so uninspired
(EN-World)
And when I knew I had to face another game
(EN-World)
Gygax it made me feel so tired
Before the day I surfed in
The dice were so unkind
But you're the key to my R-P-G mind
'cause EN World makes me feel
EN World makes me feel
EN World makes me feel like a natural twenty (twenty)
When my books were in the lost and found
Crothian claimed them
I didn't know the limits of my hat of d02
Till diaglo helped me expose it
Now I'm no longer doubtful
Of what I'm gamin' for
And if I'm rollin' hot
I don't need to do more
'cause EN World makes me feel
EN World makes me feel
EN World makes me feel like a natural twenty (twenty)
Oh Morrus what you done to me!
(What you done to me!)
EN World makes me feel so good inside
(Good inside)
And I just wanna roll
(Wanna roll)
My new d20's
EN World make me feel so alive
EN World makes me feel
EN World makes me feel
En World makes me feel like a natural twenty (twenty)
EN World makes me feel (hey)
EN World makes me feel
En World makes me feel like a natural twenty (twenty)
FADES-
EN World makes me feel (hey)
EN World makes me feel...
)Surfing the Net with my morning coffee
(EN-World)
I used to feel so uninspired
(EN-World)
And when I knew I had to face another game
(EN-World)
Gygax it made me feel so tired
Before the day I surfed in
The dice were so unkind
But you're the key to my R-P-G mind
'cause EN World makes me feel
EN World makes me feel
EN World makes me feel like a natural twenty (twenty)
When my books were in the lost and found
Crothian claimed them
I didn't know the limits of my hat of d02
Till diaglo helped me expose it
Now I'm no longer doubtful
Of what I'm gamin' for
And if I'm rollin' hot
I don't need to do more
'cause EN World makes me feel
EN World makes me feel
EN World makes me feel like a natural twenty (twenty)
Oh Morrus what you done to me!
(What you done to me!)
EN World makes me feel so good inside
(Good inside)
And I just wanna roll
(Wanna roll)
My new d20's
EN World make me feel so alive
EN World makes me feel
EN World makes me feel
En World makes me feel like a natural twenty (twenty)
EN World makes me feel (hey)
EN World makes me feel
En World makes me feel like a natural twenty (twenty)
FADES-
EN World makes me feel (hey)
EN World makes me feel...
Last edited:
Grimstaff
Explorer
Imagine (No d20's)
(My apologies to John Lennon)
Imagine (No d20s)
Imagine no d20s.
It isn’t hard to do.
No fours or sixes,
And no percentiles too!
Imagine there’s no monsters,
Looking for a meal – “Hea-eal!”
Imagine there’s no Warforged,
Now wouldn’t that be sweet?
No Skills, no Feat-Trees,
Attack of Opportunity?
Imagine there’s no Splat Books
Breaking every Rule – oo – oo!
You may say that I’m a Gamer
But I’m not the only one
Maybe someday you will join me
And the group will get past Level One!
Pretend that there’s no Will Save
Its easy if you try
No Fortitude, no Reflex
And no “Prestige-Class-Guy”!
Imagine there’s no Munchkin,
Raping every Rule – oo – oo!
You may say that I’m a Gamer
But I’m not the only One
Maybe someday you will join me
And the group will get past Level One!
(My apologies to John Lennon)
Imagine (No d20s)
Imagine no d20s.
It isn’t hard to do.
No fours or sixes,
And no percentiles too!
Imagine there’s no monsters,
Looking for a meal – “Hea-eal!”
Imagine there’s no Warforged,
Now wouldn’t that be sweet?
No Skills, no Feat-Trees,
Attack of Opportunity?
Imagine there’s no Splat Books
Breaking every Rule – oo – oo!
You may say that I’m a Gamer
But I’m not the only one
Maybe someday you will join me
And the group will get past Level One!
Pretend that there’s no Will Save
Its easy if you try
No Fortitude, no Reflex
And no “Prestige-Class-Guy”!
Imagine there’s no Munchkin,
Raping every Rule – oo – oo!
You may say that I’m a Gamer
But I’m not the only One
Maybe someday you will join me
And the group will get past Level One!
Remathilis
Legend
(Don't Fear) the Moderator (sung to Don't Fear the Reaper)
All our posts are purged
Here, but now they're gone
The Lurkers don't fear the moderator
nor do the trolls, the hive or the noobs
(we can be like they are)
Come on baby... Don't fear the Moderator
Baby Post away... Don't fear the Moderator
Religion, Politics or Sex... Don't fear the Moderator
You'll be banned in a day...
GM Day is done
Here but now its gone
Diaglo and OD&D
Are together in eternity...
Diaglo and OD&D
40,000 Crothian posts everyday... Like Some kinda record
40,000 New Reviews everyday... Redefine happiness
Another 40,000 coming everyday...We can be like they are
Come on baby... Don't fear the Moderator
Baby Post away... Don't fear the Moderator
Religion, Politics or Sex... Don't fear the Moderator
You'll be banned in a day...
Love of Hong is done
Here but now they're gone
Came the new thread for 4e
And it was clear we couldn't go on
The thread was open and the flames appeared
The Optimists tried but then disappeared
The nastiness flew then mods appeared
Saying don't be afraid
Come on baby... And we had no fear
And we replied to him... Then the bashers started to fly
They looked backward and said goodbye
We had become like mods are
We had helped get them banned
We had become like mods are
Come on baby...
Don't fear the Moderator
All our posts are purged
Here, but now they're gone
The Lurkers don't fear the moderator
nor do the trolls, the hive or the noobs
(we can be like they are)
Come on baby... Don't fear the Moderator
Baby Post away... Don't fear the Moderator
Religion, Politics or Sex... Don't fear the Moderator
You'll be banned in a day...
GM Day is done
Here but now its gone
Diaglo and OD&D
Are together in eternity...
Diaglo and OD&D
40,000 Crothian posts everyday... Like Some kinda record
40,000 New Reviews everyday... Redefine happiness
Another 40,000 coming everyday...We can be like they are
Come on baby... Don't fear the Moderator
Baby Post away... Don't fear the Moderator
Religion, Politics or Sex... Don't fear the Moderator
You'll be banned in a day...
Love of Hong is done
Here but now they're gone
Came the new thread for 4e
And it was clear we couldn't go on
The thread was open and the flames appeared
The Optimists tried but then disappeared
The nastiness flew then mods appeared
Saying don't be afraid
Come on baby... And we had no fear
And we replied to him... Then the bashers started to fly
They looked backward and said goodbye
We had become like mods are
We had helped get them banned
We had become like mods are
Come on baby...
Don't fear the Moderator
Zander
Explorer
Piano Man
......or DM Man
(with apologies to Billy Joel and everyone I've made fun of in this song!)
It’s a Saturday night at ENWorld
The regular posters login
There’s a thread about gamin’ in cyberspace
I answer my friend Tetsujin
He says, Zand, can you DM a game tonight?
I’ve got this idea for a drow
He’s a ranger that uses two scimitars
But does ‘drow’ rhyme with ‘crow’ or with ‘cow’?
La la la, di di da
La la, di di di di di d20
Chorus
DM a game, you’re the DM man
DM a game tonight
Well, we’re all in the mood for a melee
And you’ve got us wantin’ a fight
Now Buttercup’s kind of a matriarch
She always knows just what to say
She offers advice about rolling life’s dice
Keeping gamers from heading astray
She says mine’s a bearded dwarf princess
A PC I find kinda so-so
But I have to accept her character
Maybe BC’s escaped from death row
Oh, la la, di di da
La la, di di di di di d20
Now Crothian joins our cyber game
He wants a paladin and mount
He insists on lots of details
We all know it’s to boost his post count
And Henry is trying to confiscate
Upper_Krust’s red ioun stone
We’re playin’ a game we call fantasy
And it’s better than playin’ alone
Chorus
It’s a pretty good game for a Saturday
Colonel Pladoh gives me a smile
’cause he knows it’s not me they’re comin’ to see
But to argue with Joshua Dyal
And the dice are rolling all over the place
And it looks like a big TPK
And they’re hackin’ n’ slashin’ and takin’ the treasure
But so long as it’s fun that’s OK
Oh, la la, di di da
La la, di di di di di d20
Chorus
......or DM Man
(with apologies to Billy Joel and everyone I've made fun of in this song!)
It’s a Saturday night at ENWorld
The regular posters login
There’s a thread about gamin’ in cyberspace
I answer my friend Tetsujin
He says, Zand, can you DM a game tonight?
I’ve got this idea for a drow
He’s a ranger that uses two scimitars
But does ‘drow’ rhyme with ‘crow’ or with ‘cow’?
La la la, di di da
La la, di di di di di d20
Chorus
DM a game, you’re the DM man
DM a game tonight
Well, we’re all in the mood for a melee
And you’ve got us wantin’ a fight
Now Buttercup’s kind of a matriarch
She always knows just what to say
She offers advice about rolling life’s dice
Keeping gamers from heading astray
She says mine’s a bearded dwarf princess
A PC I find kinda so-so
But I have to accept her character
Maybe BC’s escaped from death row
Oh, la la, di di da
La la, di di di di di d20
Now Crothian joins our cyber game
He wants a paladin and mount
He insists on lots of details
We all know it’s to boost his post count
And Henry is trying to confiscate
Upper_Krust’s red ioun stone
We’re playin’ a game we call fantasy
And it’s better than playin’ alone
Chorus
It’s a pretty good game for a Saturday
Colonel Pladoh gives me a smile
’cause he knows it’s not me they’re comin’ to see
But to argue with Joshua Dyal
And the dice are rolling all over the place
And it looks like a big TPK
And they’re hackin’ n’ slashin’ and takin’ the treasure
But so long as it’s fun that’s OK
Oh, la la, di di da
La la, di di di di di d20
Chorus
Last edited:
HalWhitewyrm
First Post
Man, it's a good thing I'm the first one at work today, cause otherwise I would have been carted off to the looney bin, I've been laughing so hard. 
Let me join in the gift-giving. Highmoon Media Productions will give the winner a copy of MonkeyGod Presents: From Stone to Steel, while 2nd and 3rd place each get copies of every release in our Liber Sodalitas and Bardic Lore lines.
Let me join in the gift-giving. Highmoon Media Productions will give the winner a copy of MonkeyGod Presents: From Stone to Steel, while 2nd and 3rd place each get copies of every release in our Liber Sodalitas and Bardic Lore lines.
Pants
First Post
Too Many Threads On My Screen - Sung to Styx's 'Too Much Time On My Hands'
*Insert Synth jingle here*
I'm sitting at this comp screen posting like a damn fool
Got the midnight EN blues
And I’ve given up hope on the edition feuds
And a bit of diaglo
Does anyone think I'm crazy? Does anyone think I failed my save?
Well I’m so tired of refreshing - I got nothing to read and all night to read it
I go out postin' but I’ve nothing to say and all night to say it
Is it any wonder I’m not playing WoW?
Is it any wonder I’m not surfin' for porn?
Is it any wonder I’ve got...
Too many threads on my screen, it’s ticking up with my postcount
I’ve got too many threads on my screen, it’s hard to believe there's so many
I’ve got too many threads on my screen and it’s ticking away from me
Too many threads on my screen, too many threads on my screen
Too many threads on my screen...
Well, I’m a rulebook genius - I can solve the game's problems
Without even trying
I have dozens of variants and the changes never end
That is, as long as I’m gaming
Is it any wonder I’m not the Sage?
Is it any wonder my postcount crashed the boards?
Is it any wonder I’ve got...
Too many threads on my screen, it’s ticking up with my postcount
I’ve got too many threads on my screen, it’s hard to believe there's so many
I’ve got too many threads on my screen and it’s ticking away from me
Too many threads on my screen, too many threads on my screen
Too many threads on my screen
*Insert Synth jingle here*
I'm sitting at this comp screen posting like a damn fool
Got the midnight EN blues
And I’ve given up hope on the edition feuds
And a bit of diaglo
Does anyone think I'm crazy? Does anyone think I failed my save?
Well I’m so tired of refreshing - I got nothing to read and all night to read it
I go out postin' but I’ve nothing to say and all night to say it
Is it any wonder I’m not playing WoW?
Is it any wonder I’m not surfin' for porn?
Is it any wonder I’ve got...
Too many threads on my screen, it’s ticking up with my postcount
I’ve got too many threads on my screen, it’s hard to believe there's so many
I’ve got too many threads on my screen and it’s ticking away from me
Too many threads on my screen, too many threads on my screen
Too many threads on my screen...
Well, I’m a rulebook genius - I can solve the game's problems
Without even trying
I have dozens of variants and the changes never end
That is, as long as I’m gaming
Is it any wonder I’m not the Sage?
Is it any wonder my postcount crashed the boards?
Is it any wonder I’ve got...
Too many threads on my screen, it’s ticking up with my postcount
I’ve got too many threads on my screen, it’s hard to believe there's so many
I’ve got too many threads on my screen and it’s ticking away from me
Too many threads on my screen, too many threads on my screen
Too many threads on my screen
Last edited:
Jack of Shadows
First Post
One Week - from the song of the same name by the Barenaked Ladies
Its been one week since you played with me
Rolled your die to one side and said "That’s crazy"
Five days since you yelled at me saying
"When you house rule that, come back and see me"
Three days since the gaming room
I realized its not my fault, but couldn’t change it
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till we game, I’m sorry
Hold it now and post on ENWorld
It’ll make you stop, think.
You'll think you're posting like Croathian
You’ll summon posts to the host,
Although the flames will make you toast
You’ll like the WotC 'cause heck they are the man
Be like Wicket when you write threads
Write like Rel, off meds
Because it’s all about post counts
Teflon Billy got the high wit
You try to match it,
You try to dodge it, but he reviews you.
Gonna take a break, gotta save to make,
Hope the dice’ll give you a break
You’ll like Pirate Cat, he’ll always do you a favour
Not like Diaglo, 'cause you gotta’ know
His vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause he’s so outragous, you'll have to sign a waiver
How can you help it if you think they're funny when they go mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though you feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who laughs at a fumble
Can't understand what I mean? Watch you HP’s crumble
you have the tendancy to use the rules without reprieve
You have a history of not reading the book.
It's been one week since I played with you
Threw my arms in the air and said "D20!"
Five days since I challenged you,
But you still got the books for our RPG’s
It's been three days since that afternoon
I realized its not my fault, not a moment too soon
Yesterday I’d forgiven you,
And now I sit back and wait till we game, I’m sorry
KB9JMQ, what’s he thinkin’
Try to say his name, your brain stops tickin'
Watchin Hellhound with his kilt on
Where’s Dextra, her man’s gone
You can’t believe the gelfings came from this one
Like Buttercup you’re gettin frantic
Like Psion, you’re mantric
Like Morrus, guaranteed to pacify
Like Chris Pramas, you make mad games
Okay you dont make games,
But if you did, you'd use a Samurai
Gonna get a set a' better books
Gonna find the kind with the plot hooks,
Just so your player’s character’s have something cool to swing
Gotta play with Mr Universe
'Cause Dopplepopolis is the boom gamer babe
That makes you think the wrong thing
How can you help it if you think they're funny when they go mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though you feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who laughs at a fumble
Can't understand what I mean? Watch you HP’s crumble
you have the tendancy to use the rules without reprieve
You have a history of not reading the book.
Its been one week since you gamed with me
Dropped your arms to the sides and said "That can’t be"
Five days since I laughed at you and said
"You see an orc and a pie, watcha you gonna do?"
Three days since the gaming room,
We realized we both want to play, but what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
'Cause we still got two days till we game we're sorry
It'll still be two days till we game we're sorry,
It'll still be two days till we game we're sorry,
EN World website, home of the TPK.
Jack
Its been one week since you played with me
Rolled your die to one side and said "That’s crazy"
Five days since you yelled at me saying
"When you house rule that, come back and see me"
Three days since the gaming room
I realized its not my fault, but couldn’t change it
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till we game, I’m sorry
Hold it now and post on ENWorld
It’ll make you stop, think.
You'll think you're posting like Croathian
You’ll summon posts to the host,
Although the flames will make you toast
You’ll like the WotC 'cause heck they are the man
Be like Wicket when you write threads
Write like Rel, off meds
Because it’s all about post counts
Teflon Billy got the high wit
You try to match it,
You try to dodge it, but he reviews you.
Gonna take a break, gotta save to make,
Hope the dice’ll give you a break
You’ll like Pirate Cat, he’ll always do you a favour
Not like Diaglo, 'cause you gotta’ know
His vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause he’s so outragous, you'll have to sign a waiver
How can you help it if you think they're funny when they go mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though you feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who laughs at a fumble
Can't understand what I mean? Watch you HP’s crumble
you have the tendancy to use the rules without reprieve
You have a history of not reading the book.
It's been one week since I played with you
Threw my arms in the air and said "D20!"
Five days since I challenged you,
But you still got the books for our RPG’s
It's been three days since that afternoon
I realized its not my fault, not a moment too soon
Yesterday I’d forgiven you,
And now I sit back and wait till we game, I’m sorry
KB9JMQ, what’s he thinkin’
Try to say his name, your brain stops tickin'
Watchin Hellhound with his kilt on
Where’s Dextra, her man’s gone
You can’t believe the gelfings came from this one
Like Buttercup you’re gettin frantic
Like Psion, you’re mantric
Like Morrus, guaranteed to pacify
Like Chris Pramas, you make mad games
Okay you dont make games,
But if you did, you'd use a Samurai
Gonna get a set a' better books
Gonna find the kind with the plot hooks,
Just so your player’s character’s have something cool to swing
Gotta play with Mr Universe
'Cause Dopplepopolis is the boom gamer babe
That makes you think the wrong thing
How can you help it if you think they're funny when they go mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though you feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who laughs at a fumble
Can't understand what I mean? Watch you HP’s crumble
you have the tendancy to use the rules without reprieve
You have a history of not reading the book.
Its been one week since you gamed with me
Dropped your arms to the sides and said "That can’t be"
Five days since I laughed at you and said
"You see an orc and a pie, watcha you gonna do?"
Three days since the gaming room,
We realized we both want to play, but what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
'Cause we still got two days till we game we're sorry
It'll still be two days till we game we're sorry,
It'll still be two days till we game we're sorry,
EN World website, home of the TPK.
Jack
Last edited:
Torm
Explorer
"What A Wonderful EN World" (to the tune of "What A Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong)
I see Eric and Russ, and new posters too
Even Gary Himself sometimes talks to you
Human, Orc, and Elf – they’re all on EN World
I see nice debates, the occasional fight
Then Darkness or Henry, with a ‘thunk’ make it right
Eric’s Grandma is watching, when you’re on EN World
A thread with pretty concepts, that still seems oh so wrong
Until you see it’s started by the poster known as Hong
I see friends of Diaglo, sayin' "How do you do?"
Posting their Hat of D02
I see Crothian, his postcount grows
He posts much more - how I'll never know
And I think to myself, he must live on EN World
Yes, I’m thankful myself, it’s all on EN World
Oh yeah
I see Eric and Russ, and new posters too
Even Gary Himself sometimes talks to you
Human, Orc, and Elf – they’re all on EN World
I see nice debates, the occasional fight
Then Darkness or Henry, with a ‘thunk’ make it right
Eric’s Grandma is watching, when you’re on EN World
A thread with pretty concepts, that still seems oh so wrong
Until you see it’s started by the poster known as Hong
I see friends of Diaglo, sayin' "How do you do?"
Posting their Hat of D02
I see Crothian, his postcount grows
He posts much more - how I'll never know
And I think to myself, he must live on EN World
Yes, I’m thankful myself, it’s all on EN World
Oh yeah
- Status
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