A Flock of Stalkers

[Jonny Nexus]

First, I had an anonymous stalker create a blog that gave a weekly summary of what I was posting on my blog. Then another anonymous stalker created a blog that gives a monthly summary of my stalker's summary blog. Now someone's started a song-lyrics summary of my blog.

It's pretty cool.

My girlfriend doesn't like it though. She thinks it a bit weird or something.

 

[der_kluge]

Dude that is just weird on so many levels.

To find one person with too much free time on their hands is one thing, but to find 3?

 

[Rel]

Dammit, I want a stalker! Why don't I have a stalker by now?! Jonny's got 3! He's hoggin' the stalkers!

 

[der_kluge]

Dammit, I want a stalker! Why don't I have a stalker by now?! Jonny's got 3! He's hoggin' the stalkers!

I actually had a real one in college. They're not all they're cracked up to be. Trust me.

 

[Henry]

Rel, I thought it was obvious I was your stalker! Hmph! Ingrate!

See if I stalk YOU again!

(*In real life, stalkers are weird, creepy, and possibly dangerous, I know.)

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

When I worked in radio, I had a stalker, as well. Several mornings when I got off work she'd be sitting in the parking lot waiting to talk to me. I finally approached her one morning as I was leaving and told her I would call the cops if she didn't stop. She kept calling me on the air, but never showed up at the station again.

Creepy.

 

[Ambrus]

I think I've got what it takes to be a decent stalker. Maybe I should offer my services online or something. Any takers?

On a side-note, has anyone ever noticed how some love songs seem to be tailor made for stalkers? How about the Police's 'Every breath you take' or Enrique Iglesias' 'Escape'? Those are kind of creepy IMHO.

I've been toying with the idea of compiling the ultimate stalker mix. I think it'd sell fairly well; those stalkers need something to play on their CD players while they're sitting outside their focus' apartment in the rain.

 

[Henry]

On a side-note, has anyone ever noticed how some love songs seem to be tailor made for stalkers? How about the Police's 'Every breath you take' or Enrique Iglesias' 'Escape'? Those are kind of creepy IMHO.

I've been toying with the idea of compiling the ultimate stalker mix. I think it'd sell fairly well; those stalkers need something to play on their CD players while they're sitting outside their focus' apartment in the rain.

Dude! (or Dudette!) Take a listen to Clay Aiken's top 40 from last year called "Invisible". Listen to it with a stalker thinking of his victim in mind.

Whatcha’ doin’ tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Who's stealin' your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Dude! (or Dudette!) Take a listen to Clay Aiken's top 40 from last year called "Invisible". Listen to it with a stalker thinking of his victim in mind.

That is exactly what I thought when I first heard it.

Of course you have to add Possesion by Sarah McLachlan to any "stalker" mix since some of the lyrics were taken straight from her stalker's letters to her (and then he tried to sue her for songwriting credit).

 

[Cthulhu's Librarian]

Dammit, I want a stalker! Why don't I have a stalker by now?! Jonny's got 3! He's hoggin' the stalkers!

Heh, you want mine? She's a girl I dated in high school (15 years ago in NY) who somehow found out where I work (in VA) and got my work profile online. About 2 years ago she started sending me pictures of her and her kids, telling me she wishes she could have had my kids, sent me (creepy) song lyrics, and started telling me, um, stuff she wants to do to/with me. I made the mistake of replying back and telling her to leave me alone, then she started getting rude and threatening to drive down here to see me. Then she found out I was getting married, and asked if she could come down for the wedding. I was quite nervous that she was actually going to show up, but never did, thankfully. It's something I wouldn't put past her, either. She was stalkerish when I was dating her 15 years ago. I still get emails from her on occasion where she tells me about stuff that's going on in her life. It's f#@king creepy and scary as hell, sometimes. I probably should have saved the emails and given them to the police, but didn't.