A question of etiquette

[der_kluge]

An odd thing happened to my wife a couple of weeks ago, that I thought I would share, and see what everyone's take on it is.

She flew back to Kansas City (where we used to live) and she visited friends and family while they were there.

She stayed with her sister for several days, and then drove about an hour and a half away and stayed with her parents for the remainder of the trip.

This post specifically refers to the time when she lived with her sister.

It seems her sister's family just doesn't eat very much. Allow me to elaborate. My wife's sister is a thin woman to be sure, very slim. Her husband is of average size, and he is an engineer, so makes pretty good money. They have two daughters, and they just had a third child, a son (a big reason why my wife went to go visit). While there, they would cook meals and share their meals with their daughters. For example, they made pork chops. To go with this, they'd open up a can of green beans or something, and that's all they'd have. Now, the sister and her husband would each get a pork chop, and they would share their pork chop with their daughters. So, they gave my wife a pork chop, and their oldest, who is 5, ended up eating almost half of her pork chop. And between all of them, my wife's sister didn't even serve out the whole can of green beans. Just maybe a spoonful or so. They had green beans left in the can when they were done.

Now, my wife and I found out that we are recently pregnant. Well, mostly she's the one that's pregnant, but I digress. Anyway, she's like totally starving there. For the most part she noticed that the kids seem to snack quite a bit during the day. I think I would too if I wasn't getting served enough food at meal time. My wife commented that her sister had like a handful of chips and she said, "I don't know what's with me, I've totally got the munchies tonight". It was like 5 chips. Freakish.

Anyway, what do you think she should have done? Tell the sister that she's totally not feeding her enough food, or just starve and suffer through it knowing that you're not going to be there for very long.

 

[francisca]

Anyway, what do you think she should have done? Tell the sister that she's totally not feeding her enough food, or just starve and suffer through it knowing that you're not going to be there for very long.

Was your wife aware of her sister's "light" diet?

I think your wife should have taken care of herself and headed out to a restaurant for dinner or ordered in a pizza.

 

[Torm]

I think your wife should have taken care of herself and headed out to a restaurant for dinner or ordered in a pizza.

Seconded. That's what I usually do when I go to visit someone anyway - I'm picky, and I would avoid someone else's home cooking altogether than try some and have to force my way through it politely if it is bad. I'll eat my wife's cooking, my step-mom's (some), and Henry's spaghetti - that's pretty much it for home food.

In your wife's case, she even had the perfect excuse if she felt she needed one, which she didn't, and could've even become the kids "favorite aunt" if she had gotten a little extra pizza or whatever while she was at it. (Seriously, though, she might should have that conversation with her sister anyway - it sounds like she is not giving her kids enough at meals, and snack food is not good to grow on.)

 

[Lasher Dragon]

Huh.... if it was my sis I'd be like "What gives, you tryin to starve yerself into a smaller pair of jeans? Are times so bad ya gotta ration food? What's goin on here sis, surely ya eat more than that?!?"

Of course, if at all possible, I would do this when we were alone. If ya can't talk to your family, who can you talk to?

 

[Hand of Evil]

I have a cousin that does the same thing, cook a meal for two and share among four. They seem to be health but...As I have been watching what I eat, not dieting but moderating my meals and changing my eating habits I had found out some intestesting things about my body, I would want to eat large meals in the evening, now that meal is my lunch and all snacking has stop and I have lost about 40 pounds.

I think your wife should play the craving card.

 

[diaglo]

Huh.... if it was my sis I'd be like "What gives, you tryin to starve yerself into a smaller pair of jeans? Are times so bad ya gotta ration food? What's goin on here sis, surely ya eat more than that?!?"

Of course, if at all possible, I would do this when we were alone. If ya can't talk to your family, who can you talk to?

ditto.

you can pick your friends. but you can't pick your family.

if i were in that situation i would've had a heart to heart with my sibling.

 

[Berandor]

you can pick your friends. but you can't pick your family.

Which is exactly why some people cannot talk to their family. These may be people you'd never be friends with, but are stuck because of blood ties.

Not that is seems that way here. I'd have probably said something, if only not to starve the children.

 

[diaglo]

Which is exactly why some people cannot talk to their family. These may be people you'd never be friends with, but are stuck because of blood ties.

i meant that in re to me.

my family gets that look whenever they see me coming.

 

[alsih2o]

my family gets that look whenever they see me coming.

We all do, diaglo. We all do.

 

[diaglo]

We all do, diaglo. We all do.

that's cuz [sister sledge]we are Family...[/sister sledge]