D&D General A Rant: DMing is not hard.

[AlViking]

Absolutely no one is saying this. This is a huge straw many that you are creating.

What is being said is that if you absolutely refuse to try other games, despite gaming for years on end, that you have a limited band of experience compared to someone who has at least tried other systems from time to time over the same span of years. And that it shows in these discussions quite clearly because you see people pontificating about other systems that they've obviously never played, trying to "prove" how those other systems are inferior.

Good grief, mention a story game in a thread and it's like chumming the water. Suggest using a technique from a more narrative based game than D&D and people lose their poop, despite having never actually had any direct experience and those same people will argue until the cows come home that the experience of people who do have direct experience with those systems is wrong and they just don't understand the games that they play.

The problem is, we ALL play D&D. Some version thereof anyway. We're on En World because we play D&D. Most of us have been gaming D&D for years. We all have considerable experience with the systems of D&D. The difference is, there is a rather loud cohort of D&D players who absolutely refuse to entertain any notion that there might be other ways of doing things that might actually work better.

And it's because there is a rather loud cohort of players for whom D&D is the be all and end all of TTRPG's and no one could possibly have an idea that isn't done better in D&D.

I don't care what other games you play or how often. Play a variety of games multiple times a week, once a month a few times a year? Go for it. The fact that you are trying to create a a strawman out of nothing is telling. It's condescending for you to tell me I would be better off if I played more games. If anyone on these forums is saying that D&D is the be all end all for anyone other than themselves please provide a quote because I haven't seen it.

I have never driven a semi, my experience with motorcycle is limited to approximately 20 minutes, have never once tried to fly a plane or use a unicycle. I may not fully understand all of the problems or benefits people face with any of those, and I may well have some misconceptions of how they work. If I try to tell someone else who does use them how they should be doing it, that's my bad. Meanwhile I would not be a better driver of a car after driving a semi. Unlike you I'm not telling you what games you should or should not play.

You don't know me. You don't know how good a player or DM I am. So stop man- gamer-splaining to me how I would be so much better off if I just listened to your preferences.

 

[Reynard]

Apologies for the screed, but this afforded me an opportunity to think about DMing in a more systematic way. It's not so much that DMing skills are "hard", it's that DMing requires an array of skills that is rare to find all in one person. Like anything, work is required to hone the craft. I mean, is learning to play the guitar "hard"? I can't do it, and I find it mystifying, but hundreds of thousands (millions?) have done so by putting in the effort.

I think that is still overstating it and making it sound more like hunting unicorns than it actually is.

 

[prabe]

I think that is still overstating it and making it sound more like hunting unicorns than it actually is.

Neither playing guitar nor GMing is a recreational impossibility, I concur.

 

[AlViking]

I think those are all valuable things to have, but hardly required.

Becoming a good DM requires dedication and effort, but I wouldn't expect it to be "hard" for most people interested in being DMs. Some (or most) may struggle with one or more of the core DM skills, but can usually gain a modicum of proficiency given enough practice. There isn't any secret to being a great DM or hidden techniques that will elevate your games.

What are the core DMing skills? In my mind they are:
1. Leadership. As a DM you are running the game. All the players are looking to you to tell them what's going on, and to figure out what happens next. That can be a lot of pressure, even in a friend group. Some people are born leaders and revel in being at the center of everything. Others gain confidence over time. As players, it's important to support your DM and not heap undue pressure on them.

You can have someone else help organize. My wife is the planner in our family, so she does the scheduling.

2. Rules Knowledge. As a DM, you should have a decent knowledge of the rules (at least the basics resolution systems). The more rules knowledge you have, the better, but comprehensive, encyclopedic knowledge of the game is not mandatory. If you don't know something, you can look it up (or have a player do it while keeping the game going). If a player uses a spell or power that you're not familiar with, have them read out what it does. Some people spend a lot of time reading rulebooks and have this stuff down pat. Others just can't remember the fine details of the game. As a player, don't expect the DM to know everything in the rules. Some have busy lives and are just doing their best.

I know the rules better than most but if someone knows the rules better I ask for information. There's no shame in someone other than the DM being the expert.

3. Making Decisions. As a DM, you need to make decisions. Does this rule apply in this context or not? Should I say "yes" to the PCs' cockamamie plan or not? Hmm, I rolled up a dragon on the wandering monster chart, should I have it appear or not? Was the PCs' argument to the duke convincing or not? Should I coup de gras the downed PC or not? Often, there is no right or wrong answer. Everything is a big fat...eh..maybe... And that's where the challenge comes in. Choose right and the game is fun. Choose wrong and the game might be "ruined". Stressful! The good news is that individual decisions generally don't mean much in the agregate. Very rarely does a decision "ruin" a game. And, if it does, you can usually work with the players to retcon it. The importance is trying for consistency in your decision-making.

I think sometimes DMs put too much pressure on themselves. Make a decision to keep the game moving and have a discussion later. It's not that DMs don't have to make decisions, it's that DMs should go easy on themselves about the decisions they do make. If you're doubting yourself talk to people outside of game time and get feedback - I've been DMing for years and I still do so now and then. Like everyone I make mistakes or think about how I could have done something better after the fact, just remember you aren't a failure if you make a goof or ten.

4. Imparting Information. This is a tricky one. How much information does the DM give the players? How might a chamber be described to indicate potential dangers or opportunities? How much backstory gives enough detail to be interesting but not so much the players get overwhelmed? How does one describe a serious threat that might result in a TPK? How does one indicate the "adventure path" to keep the PCs going in the right direction? What happens if the party absolutely refuses to take the hint? For novice DMs, running published adventures is helpful here as the well-written ones will usually have good answers to most of these questions. Otherwise, it's up to practice. I also advise completely breaking the fourth wall and telling the players outright if it appears some sort of massive misscommunication is going on.

The level of detail is going to be personal preference. You have to impart enough for the players to make decisions but, for example, I limit the information to what I think the characters would know. Other people tell the players almost all of the details, down to specific DC targets. Meanwhile there were times back when I was watching Critical Role when I thought Matt Mercer would go on far too long in his descriptions. Find your own balance and methodology. I improvise a lot, others need to write down text they can read to the group during the game.

5. Bringing the Fictional World to Life. This is the fun descriptive stuff and roleplaying that sets the scene. Some people are natural storytellers or Matt Mercer-types that really get into this aspect. Others struggle with it. As with anything, people get better with practice but this one is more about your DMing style. What feels comfortable for you. Do you like elaborate descriptions filled with hyper-specific details or poetic allusions or do you keep it terse and punchy? Once again, there isn't a best way here. Every good DM finds their voice in time. And speaking of voices, don't get hung up on perfectly replicating the voices of NPCs. Most DMs are not trained thespians and shouldn't be judged as such. Relax and have fun with it. If you don't have fun RPing NPCs, it is perfectly acceptable to say things like: "The duke thanks you for your service to the kingdom and rewards you with a chest filled with golden coins" rather than making a grand speech about it.

Everyone at the table, DM included should interact with the fiction in a way they are comfortable with.

6. Small Group Dynamics. This is another tricky one, that requires a bit of maturity on the part of the DM (well, all players, but everyone usually looks to the DM to sort through this). This is how well your group gets along and how much everyone is having fun. It requires understanding what different players want out of the game, who has influence and who does not, who is hogging the spotlight and who is getting pushed out of it, how decisions are reached by the party, and even out-of-game scheduling, snack-bringing and other logistical concerns. Most campaigns fail because of scheduling or intra-player conflict. Managing players and groups becomes easier with greater emotional intelligence and more experience with your fellow players wherein proclivities are learned and trust is built. Some DMs are blessed with fantastically supportive groups. Others have to deal with problem-players, constant turnover, or general chaos. The good news is that life teaches one how to deal with this stuff and, better yet, DMing can help prepare you for life. How cool is that?

The important thing is to keep lines of communication open and be civil. Have an issue? Discuss it directly and however you think will work best. That may include talking to other players first, texting or chatting online or just having a face-to-face conversation. On the other hand I know some people seem to think they need to be the group counselor and it can be but it's not necessary.

An important thing to remember is that you can't please everyone. Sometimes one individual will want something you as DM don't want (e.g. play an evil character) and it's just not going to work out. It's been rare for me, but it does happen every once in a while and there's no reason to feel bad or guilty if it doesn't work out.

Apologies for the screed, but this afforded me an opportunity to think about DMing in a more systematic way. It's not so much that DMing skills are "hard", it's that DMing requires an array of skills that is rare to find all in one person. Like anything, work is required to hone the craft. I mean, is learning to play the guitar "hard"? I can't do it, and I find it mystifying, but hundreds of thousands (millions?) have done so by putting in the effort.

 

[GrimCo]

Wow. I so do not agree. Just because you can drive a Toyota Corolla does not mean you would be a good driver for a large truck or a high performance sports car. Sure, you can learn the basics of driving only driving one car. But, no, you are not a "good driver" if you can only drive one car.

I have driven every type of car i can with B licence, from small city car with n/a engine and 45 bhp to M5 with V10 and V8 biturbo. It's same skillset, if we talk about normal everyday driving (city, open road, highway). What makes one good driver is spatial awareness, ability to predict moves of people around you, following traffic signalization, having high degree of traffic culture. Never drove large truck since they need C/D license. What car you drive, or how many have you driven, it's not that important. How many kilometers on the road you have, now that one is important.

Same as gaming. Yes, at the basic level, the play cycle is largely the same, but, those resolution mechanics MATTER. Learning how and why different games do something is so key to becoming a better DM or player. I mean, sure, some skills like basic interpersonal skills, are system agnostic. I agree there. But, learning other systems is a big step forward in learning how to be a better player and DM.

No, I do not agree with that at all. Even if all you do is read other games, it will help your game. Some games do some things better than other games. Or, rather they do things in a manner that better suits whatever goal a particular player or DM is trying to achieve.

I mean, heck, that isn't my experience at all. I can really tell the difference at the table between players who have only played one system and those that have tried more systems. Just like there is a world of difference between players who have never run games and those that have.

In your opinion, in what way playing different games make someone better player or DM? I'm asking cause we might have different definitions of what makes someone good/bad player or DM:

Someone who only plays one game and refuses to play or try anything else is like those people who travel to new countries and refuse to try the food.

Sure, they miss out on experience, but it doesn't mean their time traveling was bad. Same with games, you miss different experience, but, if you enjoy that one game, it's all good.

 

[djotaku]

When I started gaming back in the late 1980s, we didn't have anyone to compare ourselves against aside from the other people we gamed with and letters/articles in places like Dragon Magazine. A new GM today might be comparing themselves directly against Jason Carl or Matt Mercer whereas I could never directly compare myself against Gary Gygax. I wonder if newer GMs these days feel a little more pressure to be like Mercer or Carl. I wonder the same about players through. Those social media gamers are very often actors and those games are very different from what I'm accustomed to.

While I believe GMing is more work than being a player, I encourage everyone to give it a try. If you can be a decent player then odds are good you can be a decent GM. If you don't like being a GM that's okay. But it's not too hard.

I think this applies to all domains. While I'm wary of what people say about any generation (remembering the lies and generalizations made up about mine), I've heard from reputable sources that the younger generations are afraid to dance in public because someone might capture it on their phone and post it. There's a lot more pressure to be perfect whether from watching an actual play or being afraid of being filmed screwing up.

Whereas when I was a kid, it was mostly guys and gals feeling pressure to look like magazine covers, but the rest of your life was yours to live as you wanted

 

[soviet]

Who says that? If someone plays only one game, they aren't likely to say, "I play my one game, because I know I understand perfectly what all other games are like and don't need them." Instead, they say, "I play my one game, because I know I enjoy it. I have no need to establish some wider perspective."

I agree that the second quote is not objectionable. But I see things like the first quote a lot more. Here's an example in this very thread:

If I don't want to play your preferred game that I'm not going to enjoy that's not my problem and I'm not going to feel bad saying no.

 

[soviet]

Meanwhile I would not be a better driver of a car after driving a semi.

Yes you would. You would have an experience of handling a different sort of vehicle that may improve your ability to respond to other unexpected conditions and circumstances in the future. If you are on the road and a semi ahead of you or next to you or about to overtake you appears to be in trouble, you will be better able to anticipate what they might be trying to do, or be able to do, or be able to see. You would also be able to engage in forum discussions about vehicle design theory (the famous VNS) from a greater position of broad knowledge.

Whether this 1% increase in your Drive skill would make it worth your while renting a semi for the day is a reasonable question. If you're happy with what you drive/play already then maybe it isn't. But there is absolutely a benefit that could be had from trying it. Saying you could not possibly learn from new experiences is hubris.

 

[prabe]

Yes you would. You would have an experience of handling a different sort of vehicle that may improve your ability to respond to other unexpected conditions and circumstances in the future. If you are on the road and a semi ahead of you or next to you or about to overtake you appears to be in trouble, you will be better able to anticipate what they might be trying to do, or be able to do, or be able to see. You would also be able to engage in forum discussions about vehicle design theory (the famous VNS) from a greater position of broad knowledge.

Whether this 1% increase in your Drive skill would make it worth your while renting a semi for the day is a reasonable question. If you're happy with what you drive/play already then maybe it isn't. But there is absolutely a benefit that could be had from trying it. Saying you could not possibly learn from new experiences is hubris.

I just recently read a book where the author spent a week riding along with a long-haul trucker in the US, and I get the feeling the experience changed his outlook on a lot of things, and might have made him a better driver in some ways. Honestly, just driving (even co-driving) a rented truck further than you can get in a single day can be an eye-opener.

(This is me agreeing with you, completely.)

 

[CleverNickName]

I guess being a Dungeon Master is a hard as you make it. If you say it's super- hard, expensive, and time consuming, and it feels like a thankless job, I believe you. If you say it's deeply rewarding and feels like time and money well-spent, and that the smiles on your friends' faces make it all worthwhile, I believe you too.