This thread (the entry post) sounds a bit like a trust issue to me. Correct me if I'm wrong please. I've been running my two current groups for years, and we have consistently had a good time with the campaigns we have shared. My players will basically play in any game I ask them too because they trust me to run a good story. They realize that I'm not "out to get them" and that sometimes for speed and to keep a scene running smoothing I'll play loose and fast with the rules.
I have a rules lawyer in my Kingdoms of Kalamar game who once called me on how I was running a grapple stating that it wasn't the way the rules said it was supposed to work. I just looked at him and told him that this was the way it was working this time and asked him if he had an issue with that. He obviously did, but quieted down and the game went on. He will eventually either come to trust me or will leave the game, I think the former is more likely.
I think that the rules present an expectation of how things work in the minds of players and a consistent feel for the game, and for the most part they should be followed. However, if your game is getting bogged down with rule considerations during play, hang them and go with the flow. If your players don't trust you to be fair about it ask them why.