I dunno, I kinda like the idea that it does literally nothing but be a useless item you can’t get rid of. In a pan-World-of-Darkness crossover game I once played in, our city’s resident mage was King Arthur’s successor or reincarnation or something. Point is, he was the rightful bearer of Excalibur, which was just a regular sword with no special powers except that he couldn’t ever get rid of it. It was only a minor inconvenience that it kept showing up in his possession, but it was hilarious and awesome. I think such an item would fit in with D&D quite nicely.
How about The Keepsake? Since its effect is that you have to keep it - just for the sake of keeping it.