Herremann the Wise said:
Again, just saying that just because I don't think punishment is the best option does not mean that I'm "letting it slide". Forgiving someone can be a hard thing to do too.
Ok, sorry to keep doing this to you, but do you want to elaborate on
that?
Please, do not be sorry.
I think Rev's actions and the consequences from them will provide plenty of punishment for him - with or without the ban. Banning him to give people time to handle the issue is sensible. A permanent ban... perhaps since it seems that this was not an isolated incident... I don't know. It's a tough decision and one that I think the moderators have universal respect from the board for making. I'm still concerned that there might be further issues with Rev as I mentioned previously which is why I prefer the concept of rehabilitation over punishment. I suppose his email is available for those that wish to send him their support.
Teflon Billy said:
If you don't want to see punishment, then how are you not "letting it Slide"?
Letting it slide to me means not dealing with the situation and its manyfold repercussions. Not wanting to see punishment does not necessarily mean letting it slide. Alternatively, wanting to see punishment does not necessarily mean dealing with the issues. If one wished to see Rev banned so that one didn't have to have anything further to do with the guy, effectively banishing him, then is that necessarily dealing with what he did, and how one reacted to it? Different, but I think somewhat equal to "letting it slide". If Rev was invited back to the boards at some time in the future, such a person will find that a lot of the disappointment at being emotionally played with will still be there. Possibly even some sort of revenge or attack will most probably seem inevitable, even if it's just ignoring him. Obviously, I don't see such a path as ideal; too much unhappy baggage to carry around that may affect one's compassion if a similar (but truthful) situation arose on the boards.
By forgiving him, I have thought about what he did and how it affected not only me but also the community here. I've thought that continuing the cycle and rejecting him is unsuitable for me, particularly if he's in a dark spot at the moment. Accepting that I and others have been wronged but realizing I would do the same over again and gladly is important for me. Rather than seeing how I and others were "suckered" in as a weakness or fault, I see it as a sign of the strength and compassion of this community. A sign that being a very small part of EN World is actually a very important part of my life (be that silly or not). If Rev came back, I would be able to respond to his posts with a clean slate, without rancor or any need to relive the incident. While I wouldn't forget what happened I also wouldn't hold it against him anymore. To me that is personally dealing with the situation and not letting it slide. Please let me say as well that this is obviously not something I want to force on anyone else - it's just what works best for me. Everyone's entitled to deal with it in what ever way they choose, and so should it be.
Perhaps as well though, it is worth mentioning that it is easier for me to forgive for while I responded to his posts and he was a well known identity to me (as Fru too), I obviously have not had the closeness of contact as others here. I feel for what those who were closer to him are having to deal with. All in all, it was a severly ill-considered thing for Rev to do; his motives at this stage unknown and I suppose it will remain that way. Anyway peace be with you all.
Best Regards once again,
Herremann the Wise