Nothing quite so sinister, Vrayven. Just a weekend spent with a cherished one...
As promised, with the advent of free time comes the draft core mechanic for the GUCK. It’s not in too much of a presentable format, ie the mechanics do not read too easily, but this at least gives us the mechanics to mull over and start from scratch all over again. You’ll probably notice some quite extensive revisions chipped in by myself: I’m fully accountable for these, and the Spanish Inquisition is free to start. So, without further ado:
GUCK CORE MECHANICS V0.1
STATUS CONDITIONS
Note: The Physical and Mental conditions below only affect creatures with a sexual alignment; constructs, elementals, plants, undead, vermin and suchlike are immune to their effects.
Physical conditions (arousal)
These conditions overlap (do not stack) with each other; a given character only suffers penalties for the most profound of them. For the purposes of rules text,Peaked, Climaxed and Ecstatic characters are also considered ‘Aroused’, as Peaked, Climaxed and Ecstatic are stronger forms of Arousal.
Aroused
Aroused characters are physically aroused and ready for congress, males having become erect and females lubricated. Unless compensated for somehow, any attempts at conventional intercourse without being Aroused beforehand incur a -5 circumstance penalty on the Prowess check. Aroused characters suffer a -2 arousal penalty to all non-sensual attack rolls, skill checks and saves for five minutes (one minute if in inappropriate conditions, including combat). Successful spellcasting requires a Concentration check (DC 10 + spell level). An Aroused character that is not yet Horny must make a Will save (DC 10) each round or become so. A successful Spot check (DC 15 male, 20 female) will give away this condition in another person.
Peaked
Peaked characters are in a heightened state of arousal; their skin flushes with blood, their heart rate and breathing accelerates and they are on the approach to climax. The vivid sensations coursing through their bodies cause Peaked characters to suffer a -4 arousal penalty to all non-sensual attack rolls, skill checks and saves for five minutes (one minute if in inappropriate conditions, including combat). When this period expires, characters are Aroused instead. They require a Concentration check (DC 20 + spell level) to cast spells successfully, and if not Horny require a Will save (DC 15) each round to avoid becoming such. A successful Spot check (DC 5 male, 10 female) will give away this condition in another person.
Climaxed
Climaxed characters are overcome by waves of pleasurable sensation, either held in the rapture of an orgasm or teetering on the cusp of one. They are considered Helpless whilst the condition lasts (usually one round) unless they can make a Fortitude save (DC 30). If they are successful, they may act as if slowed but with a -8 arousal penalty to all non-sensual actions. Spellcasting requires a Concentration check (DC 30 + spell level) to be successful. The condition is obvious to all onlookers.
A Climax typically lasts one round before dissipating, after which a male character is considered Fatigued. A female character can sustain a number of rounds of Climax equal to their Constitution modifier (minimum one) before becoming Fatigued. However, a skilled bedmate or spellcaster may prolong the experience with further Prowess checks or sensual magics; if so, each round spent in Climax after the first one spent Climaxed or Ecstatic deals one point of temporary Wisdom damage unless the character can pass a Will save (DC = Prowess check result or spell save DC). After this period the character may suffer Sexual Fatigue: see pXX for details.
Ecstasy
Not all orgasms are equal and these are the best of them: an Ecstatic character is lost to courses of blissful pleasure, lost to the world and held deeply in the rapture of exquisite sensation. They are considered Helpless whilst the condition lasts (usually one round) unless they can make a Fortitude save (DC 40). If they are successful, they may act as if slowed but with a -16 arousal penalty to all non-sensual actions. Spellcasting requires a Concentration check (DC 40 + spell level) to be successful. The condition is obvious to all onlookers.
An Ecstatic state typically lasts one round before dissipating, after which the character is considered Fatigued. A character brought to Ecstasy must make a Will save or suffer one point of temporary Wisdom damage (DC = Prowess check result or spell save DC). However, a skilled bedmate or spellcaster may prolong the experience with further Prowess checks or sensual magics; if so, each round spent in Ecstasy after the first one spent Climaxed or Ecstatic deals 1d3 points of temporary Wisdom damage unless the character can pass a Will save (DC = partner’s check result or spell save DC).
Mental conditions (horniness)
These conditions overlap (do not stack) with each other; a given character only suffers penalties for the most profound of them. For the purposes of rules text, Lustful and Delirious characters are also considered ‘Horny’, as Lustful and Sexually Delirious are stronger forms of Horniness. The penalties incurred by arousal and horniness do not stack; a given character only takes one set of arousal penalties and makes one Concentration check for spellcasting, taking the most severe value in each case.
Horny
Horny characters are mentally psyched up and raring to go. Characters can typically become Hornyby their own discretion unless extenuating circumstances prevail; DMs should feel free to set a Will save in such circumstances.
Unless they can make a Will save (DC 10) for each minute they remain in this state, characters will approach any desirable partners present with advances, regardless of how out-of-place their comments may seem. They need a similar check each round to abstain from sexual activity should the opportunity present itself.
Indecent thoughts cloud the mind of a Horny character, causing them to suffer a -2 arousal penalty to all non-sensual attack rolls, skill checks and saves for five minutes (one minute if in inappropriate conditions such as combat), and twice this amount to saves against arousal effects, seduction and spells with the [Arousal] descriptor. Successful spellcasting requires a Concentration check (DC 10 + spell level). A successful Sense Motive check will give away this condition in another person (DC 20).
Lustful
A Lustful character not only desires sex, they crave it - their mind is consumed by lust and they seek to lose themselves in the sweet dreams of a libido without bounds. Such powerful desire seldom has a mundane basis, and can typically only be brought about by powerful sexcraft, carnal magics or exotic substances.
Unless they can make a Will save (DC 20) each minute they are in this condition, a Lustful character makes moves toward any possible partners, in accordance with their sexual alignment. If rebuffed, characters of evil alignments or low wit may attempt to rape the subjects of their attentions; others are likely to masturbate until they find relief. A successful check allows them to act normally, but with the penalties listed below. Should an opportunity arise, the character needs to make a similar Will save each round to avoid indulging.
Lustful characters suffer a -4 arousal penalty to all non-sensual attack rolls, and twice this amount to saves against arousal, seduction and spells with the [Arousal] descriptor. Lustfulness typically lasts ten minutes, regardless of circumstances, before residing to Horniness. If the condition is brought about by an effect with a fixed duration, Lustfulness lasts that long. Successful spellcasting requires a Concentration check (DC 20 + spell level). A successful Sense Motive check (DC 10) gives away the condition in another person.
Delirious
A Delirious character is beyond the reach of the world and lost in a private world of sensuality, devoid of the will to do anything but satisfy an all-consuming desire for base pleasure. This is not by any means a natural state - only through the machinations of powerful enchantments or by having their Wisdom reduced to 3 or lower whilst aroused can a character enter this state.
Unless the character succeeds in a Will save (DC 30) each round, they are considered Helpless, incapable of taking any action beyonds seeking out the nearest source of sexual relief and indulging themselves They lack the awareness to make seduction attempts, instead throwing themselves at whatever looks most satisfying - sexual alignment plays a role where there is a choice of partners, but beyonds that a Delirious character will consent to pretty much anything and anyone. They fail any saves they are required to make, and are suggestible as if hypnotised.
If the check is successful, the character may act with a -8 arousal penalty to all non-sensual actions (twice this amount to saves against arousal, seduction and spells with the [Arousal] descriptor), spellcasting only being possible with a Concentration check (DC 30 + spell level). They will remain in this state until their Wisdom rises above 3 or, more likely, they pass out through over-exertion. A Delirious character’s condition is obvious to the most casual look.
Other Conditions
Unwilling
If a character does not wish sexual activity, they may declare themselves Unwilling. An Unwilling character may add a bonus (between 1 and 20 according to the campaign setting) to Fortitude and Will saves to resist mundane arousal or horniness, and to Concentration checks resulting from arousal or horniness. Becoming horny negates the benefits of being Unwilling.
Fatigued
In addition to standard penalties to Strength and Dexterity, any Prowess checks made to stimulate a Fatigued character suffer a -2 penalty. Fatigued characters can sustain a number of Climaxes equal to their Constitution modifer before becoming Exhausted. Undergoing an Ecstatic state whilst Fatigued results in character becoming Exhausted afterward.
Exhausted
In addition to standard penalties to Strength and Dexterity, any Prowess checks made to stimulate a Exhausted character suffer a -6 penalty. As Exhaustion overlaps Fatigue, only apply the largest penalty of the two. An Exhausted character who becomes Climaxed sustains one point of subdual damage per HD. An Exhausted character who becomes Ecstatic sustains subdual damage sufficient to make him pass out, plus an additional point of subdual damage per HD.
THE PROWESS CHECK
Prowess is a unique skill in that although its key ability score is Charisma, any ability can be used in its place, given that your description of your actions meets the following prerequisites:
Strength: A situation where you can use your physical build to lend more power to proceedings.
Dexterity: A situation where you have full freedom of movement and rely on athleticism.
Constitution: A situation where you are not pressed for time or otherwise stressed and can rely on rhythm.
Intelligence: A situation where you can bring your knowledge to bear, actively performing on your partner.
Wisdom: A situation where you can demonstrate your spirituality in a tantric manner.
Charisma: Charisma may always be used as the key ability for a Prowess check.
Performing a Prowess check on someone (including yourself) is a miscellaneous full-round action incurring attacks of opportunity. Unless specifically stated otherwise, Prowess checks can only be made against an Unwilling partner if they are grappled, helpless or immobile.
Consult the table below for DCs according to your partner’s present condition, where the numbers on the left represent a male character, and the ones on the right a female one. If the character fails to meet the required DC, they may elect to change the status of their partner to any DC they did succeed. A partner may resist the attentions of the character by rolling a Fortitude save against a DC equal to the character's Prowess check, adding an Unwilling bonus where applicable. If successful, they remain in their current state and no additional arousal is gained.
Table X-XX: Arousal DCs
Current Arousal - None - Aroused - Peaked - Climaxed - Ecstatic
None <13/<16 13/16 26/32 52/64 104/128
Aroused <7/<9 7/9 14/18 28/36 56/72
Peaked <4/<5 4/5 8/10 16/20 32/40
Climaxed - - - 19/22 38/44
Ecstatic - - - 38/44 76/88
A VERY SOCIAL ART
Noteworthy performances can result in NPC attitude changes, allowing you to sleep your way to success if necessary. A given character can only have their attitude shifted by one performance at a time; the attitude changes overlap (do not stack). A character whose attitude is shifted one rank above Helpful is considered charmed, if shifted two ranks above Helpful they’re considered dominated, three changes and they’re considered to be in your thrall, all as the spells of the same name. If snapped out of their state by your actions, these lovers reside to being Helpful instead. Use one of the two systems below to work how satisfying a partner you have been:
Soft Focus rules:
For two consenting partners simple have each roll a Prowess check against the other with all relevant modifiers. Check the first column on the Gratification table for the result of the evening.
Hard Focus rules:
During a love making session, each lover accumulates a gratification value as they are pleasured. Every orgasm gives one point plus one point by every five in which the target DC is exceeded (round down). Example: a female in peaked needs a DC 20 to climax, if the roll is a 32 (wow!) the orgasm gives 3 gratification points. The total of these points can be checked on the Gratification table.
Gratification Table:
Soft Focus / Hard Focus / Performance
<10 / <1 / Disappointing
10 / 1 / Satisfactory
15 / 5 / Enjoyable
20 / 10 / Memorable
30 / 15 / Fantastic
40 / 20 / Extraordinary
50 / 25 / Heavenly
60 / 30 / Rapturous
Disappointing performance - You have failed to satisfy your partner, leaving them yearning for more with little place to turn to. The frustration your partner feels manifests in a negative attitude change (from Neutral to Unfriendly, for example) for the next week.
Satisfactory performance - Your partner has achieved satisfaction, and that is always good, as we all know. But it was nothing remarkable.
Enjoyable performance - You exhibited a bit more flair than the standard lover and may have even showed your partner a new trick. Your partner experiences one positive attitude change (from Neutral to Friendly, for example) for the next day.
Memorable performance - Your sensual skills have made an impression that will serve as a delightful memory for some time. Your partner experiences one positive attitude change (from Neutral to Friendly, for example). With time you may get a local reputation as an artful lover.
Fantastic performance - Even the most jaded of lovers would be impressed by the wondrous talent you’ve displayed. Your partner experiences two positive attitude changes (from Neutral to Helpful, for example) for the next day, and one positive attitude change thereafter. With time you may garner a regional reputation as a lover of significant note.
Extraordinary performance - You are likely the best lover your parnter has ever experienced, leaving them memories they will keep for the rest of their lives. Your partner experiences two positive attitude changes (from Neutral to Helpful, for example) hereafter. With time, your reputation as a lover may even spread nationwide.
Heavenly Experience - Things were done in the bedroom that are the stuff of legends and ribald pornographic etchings! The gods and goddesses of lust would be proud of you. In time, you may even draw their notice and be whisked away to visit them! +5 bonus to Charisma-related checks when dealing with this person for the next 1d4 weeks. In addition, your lover will be charmed (as the spell) for 2d8 days.
Heavenly performance - Things were done in the bedroom that are the stuff of legends and ribald pornographic etchings! The gods and goddesses of lust would be proud of you. In time, you may even draw their notice and be whisked away to visit them! Your partner experience three positive attitude changes (from Neutral to charmed, for example) for the next day, and two positive attitude changes thereafter.
Rapturous performance - You utterly consumed your partner and touched their very soul with your pleasurous abilities. Your acts arise as a beacon to the sensual gods above, drawing your presence ever closer to them. Your partner experiences three positive attitude changes (from Neutral to dominated, for example) from now on.
* * *
My goodness, my apologies for the delay in bringing that monster to term, but I ended up thinking of more tweakings than I originally foresaw. Let us know of any recommendations you have for improving the script above; don’t worry about sounding picky, as we have to have the mechanics 100% right before making any more progress.
Following this we can get working on circumstantial modifiers and flavour text - sooner we can get the above finalised the better. Get your comments in as soon as possible! Our brief editing of the GUCK seems to have emerged as a restructuring from the ground upwards, but don’t be daunted - the Guide is shaping up beautifully, and I happily await every development.
Yours exhaustively,
Death By Surfeit
: Why thank you. 
...(piszt! What does |_33x mean?)
