D&D 5E Advice needed: is it ok to kill a player’s character if he is not there!

[Klaudius Rex]

In my weekly Dungeon of the Mad Mage game (online via Discord/Owlbear Rodeo), everyone showed up, and we immediately proceeded to roll initiative against some starving goblins, bugbears and 2 ettins.

then once like the first round of combat was over, one of my players had to go handle family business all of a sudden...

I tend to believe that player actually had to go do something in his personal life, but it was at a real bad time because it left his rogue alone in the middle of combat against two ettins who pounded on him to death and killed him without him being there.

now. I must point out that even if the player didn’t have to leave, he would have died anyways because the ettin’s turn came before his turn, ...and the same thing would have happened anyways...

yet...somehow, it feels wrong to kill a player when he’s not there to see it go down...

am I over thinking this?
How should I break the news to this player?
should I fudge something?
man I wrong to feel like a jerk?
Am I a jerk?

 

[Li Shenron]

Q: is it ok to kill a player’s character if he is not there?

A: no.

 

[DEFCON 1]

I personally would not have killed the character. Knocked him out so the rogue was out of the fight? Sure. But assuming the rest of the party successfully won the battle, then no reason to kill off that PC (especially if that was the only PC that died during the fight).

 

[J-H]

No. The player's character suddenly remembers something critically urgent and runs off to the next room to handle it.

 

[Klaudius Rex]

the ettins knocked him out, but there were STARVING goblins who went after his body and killed him...

...even if that player was present, he wouldnt have got a turn to act before the goblins chomped at him...

 

[Swarmkeeper]

No. Just no.

You also might want to examine your phrase: “I tend to believe...”
Is there something else going on that is leading to some lack of trust, however slight, at your table?
If so, you deal with that away from the table.

 

[Shiroiken]

Is it okay? Depends on the rules laid down in session 0.

I've had characters die when I wasn't present, and while it sucks, I knew going in that was a possibility. Our group has missing players choose to become inactive or remain active. If a PC is inactive, they fight "off stage" enemies and problems, taking no damage and spending no resources. If active, another player controls the PC and everything is fair game, just as if the player was present. If non-group XP is used, an inactive character gains no XP while an active one does.

 

[Sorcerers Apprentice]

Remeber that's it's always you, the DM, who decides what monsters do. The Goblins may have had logical reasons to kill the character, but you can always have them do something else. Maybe they should try to win the current fight instead of having a meal in the middle of combat?

 

[Klaudius Rex]

you guys are all making a lot of sense, and this player means a lot to me...
but i guess im only human and of course im willing to fess up to a mistake that in hindsight, i would have and should have not killed him...

...but literally...
This player had his turn...
then said he had to go...
and it was the ettins and goblins turn right after he left...
and he was all alone (while th party was down the corridor fighting bugbears)
and im ok if i screwed up...
but in the moment, i just felt like of course the ettins are gonna beat him down,
and the starving goblins were gonna eat him up...

i didnt expect him to suddenly leave?!!

 

[bedir than]

i just felt like of course the ettins are gonna beat him down,
and the starving goblins were gonna eat him up...

There's some simple ways to retcon this.

The party down the hall thought their partner was killed, even hearing the goblins attempt to eat him, but what they actually heard were the ettins and goblins going at each other over the easy meal.

By the time the group gets to that room their adventuring buddy is unconscious, there's a sleeping ettin who has just snacked on some goblins, or something