All in Good Fun - "Portmanteau-ing" (Donkeyhorsing?) the Power Gamer

[innerdude]

First of all, this really is just supposed to be all in good fun. The original "Donkeyhorse" thread left me stitches, with all of the funny ways people were combining portmanteaus for "Donkeyhorse" (i.e., the "Donkeyhorse-headed Donkeyhorse").

And I thought a similar vein of humor might be eminently applicable to one of the most ubiquitous gaming phenomena of all time: The Power Gamer

Every single one of us has either played with one, been one, wrangled with one, insulted one, teased one, had our PC killed by one, had all the treasure/ale/whores stolen by one, watched a Barbarian half-orc dual-wielding Monkey-gripped Bastard-sword character deliver 200 points of damage on a single Crit---or all of the above.

For example, the brother of a friend who used to play in a 3.5 game with WAS the half-orc/Warforged monkey-grip king. If there was a way to break the fighter/barbarian's damage output beyond recognition, he found it.

So first of all----how can we Donkeyhorse the name "Power Gamer" to begin with? (By the way, as an English graduate instructor, the use of the word "Donkeyhorse" as a verb just brings my soul infinite amounts of glee.)

PowerStrike Fluffernutters?

Fun-Killer GM-Banes?

RuleSearcher Crit-Creeps?

Metagame MunchkinMunchers?

Splatbook Wankensteiners?

Pun-Pun Probability Practitioners?

Admittedly my examples suck, so I trust to the humor and good wit of ENWorld to provide much greater amusement.......

 

[Fifth Element]

Incorporating a certain synonym for donkey could be a good place to start.

 

[shavedchimp]

I'm inclined to incorporate a reference to that old standby of grade-school computer labs, Number Munchers.

 

[El Mahdi]

deleted

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Raging Minutiataur

 

[Herobizkit]

Wankensteiner is my new finishing move.

 

[blargney the second]

I call him... Mini-me.

 

[Woas]

I thought the thread title was "All in Good Fun - "Portmanteau-ing" (Donkeypunching) the power Gamer.

 

[I'm A Banana]

Pwnmachine Doodkillerz.

Deathblade Omnimancers.

"Awesomecool Envyfun" (according to James Wyatt, anyway)

 

[innerdude]

"Awesomecool Envyfun" (according to James Wyatt, anyway)

LOL, seriously.....if the description of that book just doesn't scream "Teen-aged Oedipus Inferiority Complex" I don't know what does.

Here's my favorites so far:

The "Splatbook Wankensteiner" Power Gamer -- Easily recognizable as the dude/dudette who shows up at your weekly game with two book bags' worth of "non-core" material, the sole purpose of which is to spend endless hours plying for the "ultimate feat chain" combinations.

The "Pwnmachine Doodkillerz" Power Gamer -- Not content to merely ruin every encounter the DM throws at him/her, the Pwnmachine Doodkiller has to "up the ante" by offering to have his/her character take on every other PC in the game in a one-on-one bracket-style tournament just to prove his/her awesomeness.

The "Raging Minutiaetaur" Power Gamer -- This player doesn't really play the game to "play the game," his/her sole purpose in being at the table is to remind everyone--especially the GM--just how damn smart he/she is by correcting every adjudication that comes out of the GM's mouth with, "That's not RAW. On page XXX of the PHB, it says....."

The "AwesomeCool EnvyFun" Power Gamer -- This is one of the more harmless breeds of Power Gamer, as their desires to power game aren't genuinely malicious, they really just want to create/play a character they've seen on TV/in the movies/read in a book, and are genuinely disappointed when told that Drizzt Do'Urden is really just an 11th level ranger.

A few new ones I just coined--

The "RazorClaw Chia-Pet" Power Gamer -- You know you're playing with a RazorClaw ChiaPet when their druid's animal companion "mini" is a 12-inch tall, Playmobile Tyrannosaurus Rex.

The "GeneSplice DonkeyOrc" Power Gamer -- Never content to play a "wussified" elf," or (heaven forbid) a "pansy-ass human," the GeneSplice DonkeyOrc adamantly believes that if it's in the Monster Manual, then it should be a viable player character. Can usually be found confronting the GM, Monster Manual in hand, as he/she vigorously denounces the GM for being a "pussy" for not letting him/her play their half-Ogre, half-Frost Giant, half-Medusa "character concept."

The "PowerChord LuteScratcher" Power Gamer -- Not actually a power gamer, per se, but just as annoying. When not actually playing the game (which is most of the gaming session), can usually be found in a corner fiddling with a guitar, hopelessly trying to plunk out Zeppelin and Tenacious D songs. Almost always a frustrated musician of marginal talent, a PowerChord LuteScratcher always plays a bard, with the idea that his/her fictional Kurtus Cobainus avatar is going to take the medieval rock scene by storm.......