D&D General Alternate thought - rule of cool is bad for gaming

[Umbran]

Generally.

Yep, I am aware that there can be exceptions.

 

[Umbran]

Someone still has to run, and we recently went over all the reasons why getting someone else to do it not a sure thing.

I'm sorry, but I think I need to make this clear:

"It isn't a sure thing that you can get someone else, so you may be stuck and need to do as I say!" is... a kind of coercion.

Abusers say things like that. "Nobody else will have you, so you have to stick with me!" Not playing is better than playing with someone who takes that approach to GMing, for me, at least.

 

[Thomas Shey]

Even in a larger area, finding a FTF DM that fits can be difficult. If anyone puts out the word that they're looking for a group, they get bombarded pretty quickly. Depending on your standards and what you're looking for a good DM is, if not irreplaceable, rare and difficult to find.

Though again, at this time I expect that's more true if they're a D&D 5e GM rather than other editions or games.

 

[Thomas Shey]

Ah. That makes much more sense.

I mean, there's bound to be some areas that have groups that all spun off one root group, and that group started with some other middlin' popular game so that's all their is, but those are much less common I'd expect.

 

[Thomas Shey]

An actual example:

I knew a DM who was a bit of a megalomaniac. He was a great storyteller, but his game picked up all the hallmarks of a control freak DM: ubercool DM PCs, invincible villains, railroad plots, deliberately screwing with certain PCs to create drama. One day, one of his players told him off and left. Not long after, that player started up his own game. Three players dropped and joined the new DMs game, and the old DM screamed how he was being betrayed. That caused one of the remaining two players to quit and the other to join the other four.

Last I had heard, the old DM was big into Warhammer 40k complained D&D was for children. (This would have been early 2000s)

See, the four players were pretty good friends beyond the game and even if they were enjoying the old DMs game, they left in solidarity. That's a powerful voting block. If every player is for their enlightened self interest, losing one player doesn't hurt. If one leaves and all his friends go with him, that's a different problem (especially in a social game).

I'm not going to say that is an incredibly common occurrence. The DM was an arse and even if he was entertaining, his behavior was atrocious. But it illustrates that players sometimes do exodus en masse, even if only one player is having a problem.

Honestly, I suspect the more common case where a player having a serious issue is a problem when games are run at their place and it isn't practical to move it anywhere else (everyone else having small apartments, uncooperative roomates and so on) or where they supply transportation for enough other players to make it an issue.

 

[EzekielRaiden]

Had a much longer reply mostly done, then my computer decided to take a nap and all that typing went poof; so I'll boil it down to this:

Rules-as-physics (or, perhaps, physics as rules) provide a baseline underpinning that allows a character to try anything, whether "within" the game rules or not, with a vague sense of what might happen next.

Gravity is an unwritten game rule because we already know how it works, reflected by jumping and falling rules etc. The ways in which magic interacts with and affects other in-game physics (as in, at the base level) should be written game rules such that we all know how it works and can extrapolate and-or rationalize other game rules on top of it cf gravity vs jumping.

Rules-as-physics doesn't need - or mean - a rule to cover every possibility. In fact, the opposite is almost the case: if the physics-as-rules are nailed down the DM is in a far better position to make consistent calls when players try things the game rules don't already cover.

"Physics as rules" is the reverse of "rules as physics." It says that physical reality is what the rules are--that is rulings not rules and all the stuff like that. That "rules" per se don't really matter except when physical expectations invoke such. Even then, "rules" always give way if what is physically-rooted says otherwise.

3rd edition was the "rules as physics" game. I think you're using the phrase in a way contrary to how most folks use it.

 

[Micah Sweet]

I'm sorry, but I think I need to make this clear:

"It isn't a sure thing that you can get someone else, so you may be stuck and need to do as I say!" is... a kind of coercion.

Abusers say things like that. "Nobody else will have you, so you have to stick with me!" Not playing is better than playing with someone who takes that approach to GMing, for me, at least.

Is a particular player or DM gaming desire a fair comparison to an abusive relationship? I've seen many people on this board chastised for suggesting similar comparisons.

 

[Remathilis]

Is a particular player or DM gaming desire a fair comparison to an abusive relationship? I've seen many people on this board chastised for suggesting similar comparisons.

Gaslighting isn't confined to one area of the human condition.

 

[W'rkncacnter]

Gaslighting isn't confined to one area of the human condition.

...that's not gaslighting being described, though. gaslighting is making someone believe certain events happened differently to how they actually happened. what's being described is more invoking the fear of missing out then anything else.

 

[Oofta]

Gaslighting isn't confined to one area of the human condition.

But a DM saying that they may not be right for a player is neither abusive nor gaslighting. Associating not trying to be everything for everyone, being the right DM for every player sounds an awful lot like victim blaming and it's not the player that's a victim.

I don't want to DM a game for evil PCs. It's something I let people know when I open up a spot at my table. I had a guy that played with us for a bit that quit because he really wanted to play an evil PC. We all shrugged, wished him luck, and he dropped out.

No victims, no gaslighting, no abuse. Just adults agreeing that we have different desires for a hobby.