An old friend goes missing, and you receive her phone in the mail...

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What country as the "overseas" situation in?

In real life, I'd ask my friends what to do.

Specifically, my friend in Hong Kong who used to be in the Special Forces (I'd Facebook him), my friend right here in my hometown whose dad was a cop and has several AR-15's, and my friend who's an attorney and also heavily armed. (Hey, an adventuring party!)

I assume they'd tell me to talk to law enforcement.

I'd probably take it right to the nearest State Trooper barracks.

They'd tell me they can't file a missing person's report, because it's not in America. I'd tell them she's an American citizen (I assume) and to contact USNCB Interpol to set up a missing person's report with them, and contact law enforcement in the country (assuming it's a "real" country with reasonable law enforcement, not Sudan or something). They'd say "USNCB-what? Who are you? Get out of my office, boy."

Then we'd start the adventure, as the ninja's ambush us on the way back from the trooper barracks. We'd race to the attorney's house (on a bluff in the woods), and shoot 'em up, relying mostly on plot protection to get through "chapter 2" of the adventure.


I'd run the phone through the trash disposal, then dump the pieces in a deep lake many hundreds of kilometres from my home. After all, they're the only evidence linking me to the disappearance of my friend...

Wait, did I say that out loud?

Relique du Madde

I'll take the phone to some producer in Hollywood and have the contents of the phone produced into a movie.

After all isn't the "found footage" snuff film genre big right now?
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Staff member

Maybe it's a new game all the cool kids are playing- fake your death or disappearance, then mail your cell phone to someone on your list. Then that person does likewise. And so on and so forth until the person who started the chain gets a phone in the mail.


Run up $4,000 in charges by calling the same Sex Line in India that I did last time! Then sign up to play that MMO pay by minute over the cell phone game and try and hit max level before he or someone else turned the phone off.

Why? are there other options?

Whizbang Dustyboots

Gnometown Hero
Curious how people would react to this scenario. An old friend has been living overseas, and you hear there's a crime spree happening in the city she's in. So you call to check on her, but it goes to voicemail. You email her, and get no response. Then, three days later, you receive a package -- postmarked before the crime spree started -- that contains her smartphone.

What do you do?
Regret being friends with romance novelist Joan Wilder.


Staff member
I figure Samuel L. Jackson is also an option, on that front.

As much as it pains me to say this, Steven Segal is the guy for the job- his debilitating attacks leave you more able to talk as opposed to throat punches.

[ame=]Steven Seagal Against Balls - YouTube[/ame]

blargney the second

blargney the minute's son
If I had access to the object reading power, I'd use it on the phone and the box.

If I had access to a DNA sequencer, I'd look for epithelials on the package and the phone. I'd also look for saliva on the stamps, as well as fingerprints on all the surfaces. Then I'd play some rockin' tunes while working the problem in my crime lab.


Rotten DM
Cuss. Because I am the murderer and I didn't firgure out the correct postage to send to piratecat or one of their other friends.

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