And thus it ends ...sorta

[megamania]

Anyone that recognizes my username knows I have had a rough year so far and a rougher life. I have survived cancer, diabetis and my wife's constant affairs. I have dealt with major credit card dept which is nearly overwhelming me and I am due for a trial later this month. On March 2nd I had a brief nervous breakdown and tried to take my life. When I survived this I figured it was a sign to fight on.

Recently I have been doing a lot of monitoring of the phones and discovered my wife is calling this man as much as he does her. This tears me up.

The kids give me false information on the subject on purpose. They have been brainwashed not to tell me since it will upset me.

So I got this wonderful idea of buying a ditical recorder and setting in the room where the phone is. It settled much. TOO MUCH.

They are planning on leaving in two weeks and have the State "deal" with me.

Needless to say I asked her about this. She was villified that I had set up this recorder even though I have told her for a week that I was going to bug the house. She honestly thought I was kidding or was unable to.

The insane thing is this-

i still love her


We discussed the phone call and what to do. It turned out they were talking about buying "my share" of the house but figured I never would agree to it. This would make me dept free. They also wore not going to ask for child support (the court decides that I believe).

I surprised her said we needed to talk about it - all three of us.

I had this great plan- he buys the house- makes me free of bills outstanding. There was a double-wide for sale that went up just this week that was within 1/2 mile of the house. Far enough away that I wouldn't always see what was going on but close enough that one tearful call for help I could be there within 1 minute. That is for both the kids and the wife.

oh yeah- he is violent and vindictive also. I've had two restraining orders on him and wanted a third but if my wife won't follow thru with it then why bother?

Okay- We have a meeting set up for Saturday where I will tape record the meeting and have a paper of set questions and answers to sign. Basically I'm trying my best to protect myself.

This has been hard then whammo- the home is sold! The next closest place for sale is way out of my budget, 5 miles away, and as the constable's son, I know what happened within that house- I don't want it!

To top things off- apartments begin at 750 for a small 1 bedroom. That is 45 minutes away. The others cost even more.

My mother is convinced I will "snap" again. My wife is becoming worried. My entire life is officially crap.


What the heck am I to do?

 

[Umbran]

Breathe.

Something approximating a solution will be found. It won't be ideal, but it'll work.

By the sound of things, you have to take care of yourself first. Get out of debt. Get out of the place that is poisonous. You can fiddle around with how near you live later.

 

[elforcelf]

Hugs!

 

[Jdvn1]

Can your parents offer any help?

 

[Wystan]

Megamania,

I know you only from here, but I will be praying for you and yours and asking for peace and calm for you.

 

[megamania]

Can your parents offer any help?

nada.

I was hoping but she is in worse money issues than myself. Dad passed away and the wife's folks are "standoffish" with me. I don't fit their lifestyle. The boyfriend should be quite entertaining as I see him fitting even less.

 

[megamania]

Megamania,

I know you only from here, but I will be praying for you and yours and asking for peace and calm for you.

in truth- the big G has been sitting this one out for a loooong time now.

 

[Mycanid]

Mega - I also do not know you well save here in the forums. I am very glad that you have been willing to tell us what is going on with you and ask for help. Even if none of us are able to do so it is a very good thing that you are able to ask ... I have known many who do not try to reach out to ANYone at all. Most have had very difficult lives.

As for the big G sitting things out ... as you know it is very hard for us to second guess Him. My own experience is that often he seems to our perceptions to sit things out, but He is always there, and allows things to occur according to His reasons, which are always for the best, even if they do not seem to us to be so at the present moment. This has been proven to me time and time and time again, both in my own life and in others' I have known.

I like what Umbran said - breathe. Step back from things and do a first things first, like he said. I know it is SOOO hard to try to separate oneself from a situation when the heart is so involved - with your ex-wife and your children and all, many who have gone through the same thing have told me how difficult it can be. But it is not impossible. Just difficult ... but you know that.

After the immediate things are out of the way then go on to the next things. Step by step, inch by inch, and if you are religious - turn to God, even when it seems He is not present to you. Turn steadily and consistently. He will help.

Again, I know it is hard and difficult and painful ... please keep us posted and up to date on things. You know that many in here wish you well and even pray for you - which is really about all they can do at such a distance. (Especially way off there in Vermont!)

I would just suggest one other thing ... and on this you needn't listen if you don't want. If things are as over as you say they are I would stop "collecting evidence" of your wife's ... err ... moving on. It will only hurt more and more. You should probably be more focused on also moving on rather than grinding salt into your wounds. Just a suggestion, though, and I am heartily sorry if I have crossed the line or upset you in this.

God bless you sir - be strong. Cling to God. And please keep us posted....

 

[MavrickWeirdo]

If you end up totally down and out you can stay with me.

I realize that worcester is about 150 miles away from your kids so it's not exactly convient, but I have plenty of room now that my wife has moved out (cue "Odd Couple" music).

To be honest, I think you can recover from this.

My real worry is about your kids around the boyfriend. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do about that at this point is get your own life in order in case they need you. Once you are stable you can do something for them.

You are not alone.

 

[Mycanid]

Mavrick - AMEN! I was hoping you would pop up and write something. I thought you would be the best to speak from recent personal experience with some weight and authority behind it.