And thus it ends ...sorta

[MavrickWeirdo]

To Treebore, Chimera, Darthjaye, & Nyaricus

In my humble opinion, sometimes a person needs sympathy, and sometimes a person needs a kick in the pants. The second option tends to be more risky, and reqiures finesse to make sure you don't overdo it.

It is not the type of approach I would want to try unless I knew the person very well and/or was talking to them face-to-face; However Megamania did not seem to take offense, so why don't we just drop it.

And if you want to tell me to stop acting like a 'mod' when I'm not, then feel free to e-mail your complaints to me, rather than adding more argument to this thread.

 

[Numion]

Patting him on the head and telling him things will be OK aren't getting him to fix his life. telling him to quit feeling sorry for himself and find solutions and implement them will help him get his life straightened out.

Sad but true. Actually not sad .. just true. But you have to realize that anyone coming with their troubles to a message board is not looking for real help, but in reality they are just looking for sympathy.

My point: We can offer sympathy, but no real help. There are professionals who can help, and help megamania help himself, but it isn't us.

 

[Seanaci]

Sad but true. Actually not sad .. just true. But you have to realize that anyone coming with their troubles to a message board is not looking for real help, but in reality they are just looking for sympathy.

My point: We can offer sympathy, but no real help. There are professionals who can help, and help megamania help himself, but it isn't us.

Very well said.

 

[WhimsyTheFae]

I am glad to hear that you may be able to turn the page in this chapter of your life. Chin up and all that...

If life hands you lemonade, kick it in the balls and say, "I wanted a beer, beeatch".

 

[Treebore]

Sad but true. Actually not sad .. just true. But you have to realize that anyone coming with their troubles to a message board is not looking for real help, but in reality they are just looking for sympathy.

My point: We can offer sympathy, but no real help. There are professionals who can help, and help megamania help himself, but it isn't us.

That is true. I'll have to keep my mouth shut unless I am in the mood to offer sympathy.

 

[Nyaricus]

Sad but true. Actually not sad .. just true. But you have to realize that anyone coming with their troubles to a message board is not looking for real help, but in reality they are just looking for sympathy.

My point: We can offer sympathy, but no real help. There are professionals who can help, and help megamania help himself, but it isn't us.

Very well said indeed.

MavrickWeirdo, don't worry about 'acting like a mod' - you've only helped move the discussion along, and us self-modding ourselves is a lot easier than getting in a real mod in here for something which Numion very aptly summed up. My humble apollogies to Treebore if he felt offended by my comment.

megamania, best of luck man

 

[Numion]

That is true. I'll have to keep my mouth shut unless I am in the mood to offer sympathy.

I know from personal experience that it is difficult to keep my mouth shut, and I'm not sure that that's even the best thing to do.

I've seen two of my friends spiral downwards to the point of suicide attempts. It's a really depressing feeling when you want to help, offer sympathy, do anything basically, and then just notice that anything you do is not going to help.

Only thing to do is tell people (and maybe even force them) to get help from those who can provide it. Mostly it means healthcare professionals. Luckily my friends both made it - one had to be institutionalized for a while, but now her life is great (she even graduated to be .. a doctor, of all things), and the other one stormed it on his own. He has a couple of scars to show for it, but now he too is doing fine. Maybe a bit too obsessed with his newfound financial success, but I let it slide because of his past

 

[MavrickWeirdo]

I really think we are getting off topic here.

megamania I am very glad you had a (relatively) good day this week. Please keep up posted to let us know if it gets better (or worse).

 

[Darthjaye]

I really think we are getting off topic here.

megamania I am very glad you had a (relatively) good day this week. Please keep up posted to let us know if it gets better (or worse).

Actually for the most part were not. These are all merely suggestions to help and not pity. I'm sure by his posting here he wants (to some degree) some understanding of his situation. Some of us have offered him such and have said (through personal experience) that it gets better. That dwelling on it doesn't help. That we are willing to provide avenues, inspiration, or guidance as best we can. I think the more different views he gets here the better he can form a plan for what he thinks is best for him to do given his predicament. To say "we're getting off topic" is saying that you wish to narrow the field of advice that he has access to. Personally, I would want to know all the possibilities before I moved on with something so monumental (and I have).

While this particular post may upset, you should realize that he has posed the problem here for all to pan and submit advice. No one here has given him bad advice, just different. In the end, he will do what he feels is the best for him and, as much as if not more importantly, the kids.

 

[Chimera]

For whatever it's worth, I don't have a lot of patience for the "Suck it up and get over it" approach. It always comes off, to me at least, as Mean Spirited. As Impatient, non-sympathetic and even Hostile. (As in "How dare you disturb me with YOUR problems!")

Not to demean what you've been through Treebore. Hey, I've been there myself, as I stated above.

I believe that I did offer good advice in my primary post. That being to "take a deep breath, step back and work on the ground beneath your feet". "Center Yourself" would be another way of saying that, along with "Don't worry about what people are saying, worry about yourself FIRST."

Heck, I wish I'd gotten that advice when the manure hit the fan in my marriage.

Ultimately, Megamania, though it may not seem like it now, you may end up feeling like a huge weight has been removed from your back when you get centered and realize how much BS you don't have to deal with anymore.

The pain of lost love, of betrayal, on the other hand.....only Time can heal.