Anticipating a Problem: How to handle with players "Set in their ways"?

[Orius]

I wouldn't count on him playing. Tell him upfront what you're interested in running. If he hates Eberron and prefers a more classic feel, then he probably won't want to play. He'll likely be a problem if you're not honest with him from the start.

Either that or offer him the chance to DM a more old-school campaign if that's what he wants to play, and if your group is interested in multiple campaigns (and the other players don't mind what he's running either).

 

[Korgoth]

He's not played since 2e (except for Neverwinter Nights, which he is aggressive about encouraging). Says he owns every bit of Greyhawk and Forgotten realms stuff, and is "VERY OLD SCHOOL"; he HATES EBERRON.

He has also been aggressive about where and when we should meet, to the point of almost seeming like he's trying to take charge of the situation.

Meanwhile, here I am wanting to run a good ol' PoL Homebrew, kill Dwarves, Elves and Halflings, letting Warforged, Shifters and Kenku take their stuff.

I just get the impression that the Grognard is Strong with this one, and he might fight every inch of the way, especially when I start introducing him to 4e. There's not much to indicate that, but the "Very Opinionated and Not Afraid to Make it Known" vibe is coming off him.

Am I overreacting? And if I'm not... how should I go into this? How do I make the best of this, because I would LIKE as many players as I can get? How can I pre-emptively defuse a problem, or win this guy over?

You don't have to DM for somebody if you don't want to. However, if you think it might be fun to have this guy in the group for whatever reason, try it and see how it goes.

First, don't let him determine when and where to meet. That's up to the DM.

Second, do indicate to him what kind of game you're going to be playing. This does not have to be complicated. Like: "I understand that you've got very traditional tastes in D&D. That's cool but be prepared for the fact that I'm doing some non-traditional things in this campaign. I'm not using Elves, Dwarves and Halflings... I'm using Warforged, Shifters and Kenku. If that's not your cup of tea I understand. If you want to play though you're welcome to. We're meeting at Bob's house every Friday night at 7pm. Our first session is in two weeks. We're going to be using the 4E rules for this game. Hope to see you there."

That's all. You can't try to manipulate or "finesse" him into the game. Just tell him the straight up truth about what the game is going to be, and indicate you know that this will be a deviation from his aesthetic "home turf". Leave the door open, but (to mix metaphors) the ball is in his court. Then just see what he does. If he goes into it with open eyes then he will have made a knowledgeable decision and you're way more likely to get cooperation from the guy. If he doesn't work out then just politely tell him that his play style doesn't really fit with the group (or whatever is really the case) and thank him for showing up.

 

[S'mon]

It is far, far more effort and stress to boot an existing player than to not take on that player in the first place. If you are not getting good vibes off him, don't take him into the group. As others have said this will save you a ton of grief later.

 

[S'mon]

Either that or offer him the chance to DM a more old-school campaign if that's what he wants to play

I strongly recommend against this strategy.

 

[Tervin]

When trying to set up a new group with people I have not played with before, my strategy would be this:

Have one test session first, where you provide pregen characters for a mini adventure - but allow the players to have made their own character in advance instead, if they want to. As you run the test session you will all get the chance to have a feel for the other people's personalities and playstyles. Make sure that the test session showcases a little bit of the type of game you plan to run.

If focus is on dungeons, do that. If focus is on political power, solving mysteries, exploring the unknown, romance, fighting the evil empire, spreading the god's word - well whatever it is, make sure it is shown. If it is a mix of two, make your session a mix of two.

After the short session you can tell them what kind of things you have planned, and give them a chance to understand how much input they can have on what kind of game you will be playing. Make sure that you learn what every player wants to get out of the game. If you can't find a middle ground with one player, that player can't be in the campaign. Let's face it, that player wouldn't want to be in the campaign after all...

That way you might end up losing a player or two, but the ones you have will be more loyal. Now make it the core group's job to try to find as many more suitable players as you will need. You can probably start the campaign with the little group, expecting it to expand within a short time.

 

[ProfessorCirno]

"Hey, this is the game I've been wanting to do and the others want to do it too. You in?"
"No."
"Oh, ok. Maybe next time then."

You don't need to "handle" them.

 

[delericho]

Let him play but don't be swayed. If he starts complaining and making strong suggestions that the group should play "his way", then dump him; tell him frankly that he's being disruptive and that you're just not willing to tolerate it.

This.

If you're wrong, and he's not a problem, then great. If you're right, and the guy's a problem, then you're probably not going to talk him around. Where incompatible styles clash, and no compromise is available, then you're best off simply dropping the player.

 

[doctorhook]

This.

If you're wrong, and he's not a problem, then great. If you're right, and the guy's a problem, then you're probably not going to talk him around. Where incompatible styles clash, and no compromise is available, then you're best off simply dropping the player.

This is fine and dandy in theory, but in practice, I believe you'll find that "simply dropping the player" may take so much energy and do so much peripheral damage to your group that it would be much simpler not to include him at all. Dealing with a problem player could take all the energy you would have devoted to preparing a better game.

If you think he'll be a problem, Rechan, save yourself the headache: Tell him you don't want him in your game, then be done with him. Trust your instincts, and spare yourself the trouble of stressing over this guy.

 

[WayneLigon]

I'd reply to him with the parameters of the campaign you're thinking about running, and include that you are probably going to go to 4E. He'll probably say 'no thanks' at that point.

Also, your comment about him knowing where and when you play, as if this was a concern he might show up uninvited? You're playing in a public place? If so, you might want to invite him to the first session as an observer -- "I'm not sure our campaign would be to your liking; you're welcome to sit in and see for yourself if you like."

 

[Mallus]

"Hey, this is the game I've been wanting to do and the others want to do it too. You in?"
"No."
"Oh, ok. Maybe next time then."

You don't need to "handle" them.

Best advice yet.