Anticipating a Problem: How to handle with players "Set in their ways"?

[Kzach]

This immediately made me think of the situation I'm currently in where I'm a player in someone else's game, except I'm the grognard.

I'm not a grognard in the usual sense, but in this instance I'm finding myself unable to let go of control of the game. It sounds like this guy is probably used to DM'ing and is going to have a hard time letting go of that control.

I'm actually considering dropping out of this group because, quite frankly, without me at the helm, I'm always going to think I can do better, and it's going to annoy me that things aren't going as I expect them to.

What I'm trying to say is, I think you'd both be better off without each other... how you go about that, though, is a tough call.

 

[Delta]

I'd reply to him with the parameters of the campaign you're thinking about running, and include that you are probably going to go to 4E. He'll probably say 'no thanks' at that point.

See, that's the kind of thinking that gets people in complicated relationship trouble. Drain-type people don't act rationally like you or I do. Also as a college teacher, I see that 5-10% of people are agents of chaos who try to drag as much time and energy out of you as possible for no good reason whatsoever.

Do NOT put the ball in his court to say "no thanks". DO be courageous and decide whether you want him in your group, and state that clearly, definitively, and politely.

 

[Twiggly the Gnome]

Meanwhile, here I am wanting to run a good ol' PoL Homebrew, kill Dwarves, Elves and Halflings, letting Warforged, Shifters and Kenku take their stuff.

Too bad your not a little closer (I'm in north east TN). Killing Dwarves, Elves and Halflings and taking their stuff is what D&D is all about!

 

[Primitive Screwhead]

I strongly recommend against this strategy. {...offer him the chance to DM a more old-school campaign if that's what he wants to play}

Any reasoning behind this recommendation?


Altho I agree with most of the above responses. Be open with the prospective player as to what your campaign world is like and offer him/her the choice to join in...or not.

 

[Rechan]

Also, your comment about him knowing where and when you play, as if this was a concern he might show up uninvited? You're playing in a public place?

No, there's no playing involved.

I want to get everyone in the same place so we can discuss where we can play the game, what kind of campaign we want. Then make characters as a group effort, so all their characters have some reason to stick together. This will require me teaching them the system because everyone is new.

We're meeting at a local bookstore.

 

[MINI]

Do NOT come at this out of a sense of desperation, that you've got "4-5 people and that's it, I need everyone I can scrape up". That one extra person who doesn't want to be there is going suck down all of your time and energy. Boot him, you'll have a beautiful campaign for what you want with 3-4 people, and wish him the best in being happy with his own style of gaming, too.

Being assertive about your game is good advice. It is true if you take on a problem player its going to make more problems than if you simply turn him away, however this guy could be a great addition to your group, you simply don't know yet.

You should remain in control of all things with organizing the game such as the character creation process, the setting and meeting places. Be assertively clear about these things and politely let him know who is in charge if needed.

Beyond that I would run a solo session for each player as to how their character gets to the starting point of the game. This should give you a sample of his RP style as well as everyone else's. After this first session you can decide who will be good in teh group and who will not. If each player witnesses the others solos you coudl even let them help decide, but this last part could get ugly and you may want to opt out on it.

 

[ST]

Any reasoning behind this recommendation?

Only one I can think of is the classic Geek Social Fallacies. (Seriously, why would you bother running something only one person in the group would like?)

Be assertive with this guy, make it very clear what kind of campaign you're interested in running, if he's not down with it and the others are, he can find a game more suited to what he's looking for.

 

[Terwox]

Personally, I'd say tell him something more along the lines of --

"It sounds like you're not going to have fun in my game from what you've said. If you really want to play and you can keep your opinions to yourself, you're welcome to play. Gaming is supposed to be fun, and I don't have fun when one gamer is complaining a lot. No hard feelings if you sit this one out."

You can also add, *if it is true*,

"If you are interested in running and old-school style game, let me know, I would be interested in playing."

It is, perhaps, less tactful, but it is more poignant and direct.

I've had more than one game flop solely because people who should not have been hanging out together were stuffed into the game together. It's best to be careful.

 

[Orius]

I strongly recommend against this strategy.

That why I said only if the other players didn't mind playing a more traditional setup.

Otherwise, he's just going to be the old-school pain in the ass killer DM. Hell, that might happen anyway, which is why it might not be the best idea. But I'm coming at this from the "If you don't like it, do it yourself" school of thought.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I currently play in 2 main groups. One of my oldest friends (been gaming with him 20+ years now) is in both, and is the proverbial stick in the mud gamer. He plays D&D. Only. And 90% of the PCs he runs are interchangeable wizards.

(It took a couple of years to get him to try 3Ed, and he's only now warming up to 3.5.)

And if someone decides they are going to run something else besides D&D, he vocally tells us that he won't participate.

The solution we've devised?

Play without him.

Don't let one player hold you hostage. Run the game you want to run, let him participate if he wants to. If he insists on being a pain, give him the ultimatum that he either stop spoiling everyone else's fun or leave.