Archaic and just plain weird insults for roleplaying fun. :)

[kirinke]

Ok. I doubt anyone has done this before, though there has been plenty of joke threads. Now. We all have characters come face to face with the baddies.

What do our characters say to them to deride their combat skills, parentage and otherwise drive them to want to kill said characters more?

Only one rule in this game:
Must pass the grandma test.

Let's start it off with:
1) Your mamma was a troll and your pappa was a politician!

 

[shilsen]

2) To an orc: Your mama is an elf-lover. [Replace "orc" and "elf" as appropriate for race]

3) To a half-breed: So which parent was drunk and which one was stupid?

4) *Jack Palance voice* I crap bigger than you (note: doesn't work that well on creatures which can wear you for a hat)

5) Run away, little child, and let the real villain come out to play.

6) Awww, is the big, bad evil pwiest gonna cwy because I widdled on his altar? (note: actually widdling on said evil altar can be injurious to health)

 

[rbingham2000]

7) Try not to hurt yourself with that sword. Please.

8) Judging by the way you're swinging that arm, I'm surprised it isn't already broken.

9) Did you forget to sharpen your sword this morning? My kitten could scratch worse than that!

10) You move like a fat smelly donkey with four left feet.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

11) When you see [ your god ], tell him [ my name ] sent you!

12) It's embarassing to have to fight you, but at least it won't be fatal ... for me.

13) Guess what color your guts are.

 

[Sado]

All right, I'll be the first:

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"

(Damn, why don't we geeks ever get tired of that movie?)

 

[wormwort]

You are reprehensible in your Punic perfidity.

Your talent for moral reclivation is exceeded only by the tediousness of your native volubility.

I will relish the savage swaging of your soul and body to the adamantine anvil of merciless Crom.

 

[wormwort]

Can you tell I just bought a new dictionary?

 

[Algolei]

Can you tell I just bought a new dictionary?

I can't find my book of Shakespearean insults.

 

[Goblyns Hoard]

All right, I'll be the first:

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"

(Damn, why don't we geeks ever get tired of that movie?)

I pick my nose at you!

 

[AuroraGyps]

For when the BBEG rambles on about his plans, etc.

PC:"Look, would you get to the point... here I'll help you." and PC proceeds to stab BBEG.

It can also go like this:

PC: I don't know what your point is, but mine's on the end of my sword... SEE!"