As a DM, are you ever worried players will get upset at you?

[dreaded_beast]

I've been on the other end, where I am a player and I'm walking on eggshells, wondering what will set off my DM this time around. Will it be because I asked a question he couldn't answer, disrespected his authority, corrected him about a rule, etc.

Anyways, now that I am a DM, I wonder if the decisions I make will make the players upset. For example, throwing a rust monster at a party of fighter types (metal weapons or armor), correcting a mistake I made and telling a player that I was wrong to allow an "uber" attack combo (after reading the rules), or having to kill a character (through "legal" means, not on a whim ).

Do you ever worry that your players will get upset?

 

[Crothian]

No, I'm pretty sure what I can and cannot do that will upset the players. So, while I do occasionally do things that upset the players, I'm not worried about upsetting the players.

 

[Sejs]

Nope, I am not.


In large part because my players know that I'm never going out of my way just to screw them. They know that when I run, I'm doing my best to portray the story (and its components like monsters, traps, whatever) in a manner that is faithful with how things should logically progress. They know that I as a DM am neutral - its never me vs them, its just me trying to interpret rules as would be most appropriate, setting up and furthering the story, and trying to play NPCs in a way that is internally consistant for that NPC.

A DM getting upset because a player asked a question he couldn't answer, or corrected him on a rule is silly - nobody's perfect, after all. A DM getting mad because a player 'disrespected his authority' is just sad. Nobody should DM just to have their ego stroked.

As for the other things? Throw that rust monster if it's appropriate that a rust monster be there*! Go ahead and correct that mistake allowing an "uber" attack combo - don't rewind time to undo its effects, just tell your players that after reading it over, it apparently doesn't work, here's why, and that in the future you'll be going by the rules as printed for that combo. And go ahead and kill that player if it's right for the player to die. No sub-orbital attack cows, mind, but in the big fight with the BBEG, sure... if they drop, they drop. On the other hand, a character dying due to rediculous luck in a random encounter that's intended to be well below challenging for them, is much more acceptable to handwave away.







*Side note: I have a very hard time coming up with any situation in which it's appropriate for a rust monster to be there. Like maybe on mechanus or something, but otherwise..eeh. ^_^

 

[Jolly Giant]

We've been friends for many years and know each other VERY well (one of them's the mother of my children... ), and I always try my best to upset them as much as possible when we game. I'm not the least bit worried about it though!

 

[Shemeska]

Nobody should DM just to have their ego stroked.

But it's a damn fine side benefit!

But yes, I do worry that on occasion I might anger my players by the course of the plot, etc. However, having thrown a moral quandry into the game that induced half of them to cry, and at another point killing off a long term NPC (temporarily) I think they know what to expect and nothing is going to blindside them. Except of course for the stuff that may or may not still be eluding them after 2 years of play. *shifty eyed smile*

I haven't altered plot however just because of any worry of angering my players, I know them better than that, though I may still worry on occasion, and they know what to expect out of me.

 

[The Amazing Dingo]

On the rare occasions that I have just started to DM, I don't find myself worried about upsetting either the players or the characters. My player and I have known each other now for about 9 years and he's DMed me for about 5-6 of those years. As such, I have a fair idea of the game style he enjoys and how far I can go with certain things.

Concerning his character, I couldn't care any. As Sejs said, he knows I'm not out there to hurt him per se. I make sure the plot revolves around his PC (being a solo game) and at times the PC does get the brunt with some things, but my player knows its in the interest of plot and that I'm not out there to bend the reality of the game to hurt him. It is how things unfold in the name of the game.

 

[Chimera]

Although I'm not GMing at the moment...

Like Sejs said, I'm not out to screw over my players. I'm trying to create a game, a story, a good time. However, things happen and people get upset. It happens. I'm not going to go out of my way to avoid upsetting anyone, because that neuters the entire game.

So if you're getting upset a lot in my games, you should probably be looking at your own expectations and behavior, not mine. Although I will be quite willing to discuss it with you and see what we can and cannot change.

A DM getting upset because a player asked a question he couldn't answer, or corrected him on a rule is silly - nobody's perfect, after all. A DM getting mad because a player 'disrespected his authority' is just sad. Nobody should DM just to have their ego stroked.

I won't play with those kind of GMs. A GM's "authority" only extends as far as the players are willing to allow. You (generic you) want to play personal power and ego games with me? I'm happy to take my dice and go home.

Same with adversarial GMs. I've played with a few and won't do it again. You want to do "you against me", I'll gladly play you a game where you don't control the rules. A "fair fight" so to speak.

 

[reanjr]

I've been on the other end, where I am a player and I'm walking on eggshells, wondering what will set off my DM this time around. Will it be because I asked a question he couldn't answer, disrespected his authority, corrected him about a rule, etc.

Anyways, now that I am a DM, I wonder if the decisions I make will make the players upset. For example, throwing a rust monster at a party of fighter types (metal weapons or armor), correcting a mistake I made and telling a player that I was wrong to allow an "uber" attack combo (after reading the rules), or having to kill a character (through "legal" means, not on a whim ).

Do you ever worry that your players will get upset?

No, I upset them all the time. I tell them to quit whining and play the damn game. It usually works out. Last week I had a beer bottle chucked at my head, though...

Just be fair. They may (will) become upset from time to time. But usually it's only temporary.

 

[Gizzard]

So if you're getting upset a lot in my games, you should probably be looking at your own expectations and behavior, not mine.

People are going to get upset; no one likes to have their turn taken away (even if they took 10 minutes to make their move) or to lose a character (even if they pulled the handle marked "Danger: Do not Pull!"). As long as the majority of people had fun, the DM shouldn't worry too much about a one player who frowns or sulks. Like the quote above says, it probably is that player's problem, not the DM's.

That said, I do try to keep an eye on who is having a good time and who is not. If someone is frowning I try it look back after the session and see if I singled them out unfairly and try to keep that in mind for the next session.

Still, some players always have some crazy plan or don't know the rules; and therefore those players are going to get ruled against more often than others.

 

[dren]

98% of the time - no.

I trust them and they trust me. I give them a good story, and they roll with the punches with the best of them, certainly the best group I have ever been with. Now, with that being said, there are times they tell me I'm "nuts", and we loudly "discuss" a rule or an interpretation of said rule, then we come to a decision. No harm, no foul and the game continues.

And at the end of the session, we all have fun and they are all back again next week.