D&D 5E Bards. They are silly. Is there a way to make them NOT silly?

[JiffyPopTart]

So....a wizard wants to fry a goblin with a fireball. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a little ball of bag guano, makes some strange hand gestures with one hand while chanting some non-common language for a second or two, then throws this little ball of poop at the goblin which explodes into a 30" ball of flaming death centered on the goblin.

Read that....does that seem silly? It is. It's as silly as a guy strumming a lute and singing a dirty ditty about the goblins mom that not only enrages him into semi-uselessness, it causes a minor brain aneurysm in the process. It's as silly as a deity trying to wake up to his morning coffee only to be constantly bombarded by mortals asking him to fill their spell meters, usually for powers that later will cause other mortals to explode or mysteriously unexplode as needed. It's as silly as some guy who can, by skill alone, shoot arrows into his foes vital organs EVERY SINGLE TIME his buddy is standing next to whatever he is shooting at. It's as silly as some guy who can get so mad he gains superhuman strength, but only a few times a day.

DnD characters are silly.

DS

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I'll play!

Joe Bone of Maza, necromancer bard
Lady Gargoyle
DJ the Shadow
Gorgon Lightfoot
Catfolk Stevens
Jermalaine Dupri

But wait...

Treant Reznor
Kurt Gnoll-Bane

I just came back to add...Pat Minotaur & Justin Bebelith.

I'm sick, I know. Please help.

 

[Mallus]

Treant Reznor

"Head Like a Bole"

 

[MichaelSomething]

Have the party do a battle of the bands against some sirens that use their music magic to control everyone?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjmsThcOGTQ

 

[Mercule]

I have wanted for a long time to do a Bard/Monk combo called Tango.

See if you can get someone else to team up with you and do one Bard and one Monk. Call them Tango and DJ Cash.

 

[Warpiglet]

I increasingly do wish that the bard was toned down in spellcasting to level 5 spells, as per ranger and paladin, and that Expertise was redesigned for both the bard and rogue.

That is my biggest issue with them. They are too flashy for the archetype (for my taste). I would like more knowledge and knowing, more charming and less of the whiz bang flashy stuff.

Additionally, the whole thing is personal preference, but I too find that unless using it as a countersong the strumming of instruments in extremis seems silly. No one can talk me out of that. I can fathom an orater with magic words...but at a certain level its too much like a wizard for my taste.

I could like a bard. So far I have not seen many that excite me. A dwarven historian who recites pieces about dwarven culture that shapes reality or recapitulates a historical event maybe? I dunno.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I could totally see a haka as a bardic ritual that sows fear and unease.

 

[Helldritch]

There are many ways to play a bard.
The Skald of old leading celtic (barbarians?) warriors into battle with songs of combat and encouragement.
The Aedes that were advisor to kings. Reciting battles and legends in songs and poetry.

In fantasy, there are a lot of characters that could be associated with one type of bard or the other. Jaskier in the Witcher's book could be such an example. (well... this one is silly in one moment, and quite useful the next one).

The bard is far from silly. He can be the leader of a group, able to heal, boost and even distract opponents. Nope, the bard is not silly. It's how you want to play the class that makes it silly or not.

 

[MoonSong]

First of all, relevant comic.

Secondly, I love the heck out of bards. Mechanically, I think they knock it out of the ballpark. Conceptually, I even think that a jack of all trades character is a cool conceit. Bards conjure up images of Kvothe Kingkiller, Thomdril Merrilin, and even historical figures like Sir Richard Francis Burton. Unfortunately, it never goes like that in game. Bards have an image problem, and your badass character concept never survives contact with a sniggering table full of gamers singing "Brave Sir Robin."

My question is this: How do you play a bard seriously? It's admittedly silly to imagine someone breaking out the tambourine and "inspiring you with the dance of my people" during an orc attack. So what do you do instead? How do you dispel all those goofy heavy metal, El Kabong, glam rocker, nerdy dude in tights tropes and create a bard character that actually belongs in a heroic fantasy? And more importantly, how do you convince the rest of the table to take your bard seriously?

I guess you could play up the music angle? I mean not in the music=magic but more like supernatural in its own way. Play it up as Inspiration is not you being literally inspired, but the music is subtly manipulating you into being more competent. Vicious Mockery? not a literal taunt, but rather is a melody that haunts your soul and tortures it with a mockery of what you hold the most dear. a melody that can kill you the longer it's focused on you. And the music isn't just a merry song, it has no lyrics, instead your voice is another instrument, and plays up with dramatic contrasts between lows and high pitches. Don't be an entertainer, be brooding, dark, detached.
If you have ever seen Saint Seiya, think Sorrento or Mime, characters that fight with music and they are terrifying, specially the former.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Elvish Presley, anyone?