Bear Lore

[Remathilis]

I thought I could like Fourth Edition.

I kept telling myself "they didn't dumb it down. They didn't dumb it down."

Then I saw this.

Bear Lore - 1d4chan (caution: site contains non-grandma friendly language).

I'll never look at 4e the same again...

 

[JackSmithIV]

Yes, this is almost ancient.

This has been a running joke in my group for a while. It died down a few months back, but every once in a while it'll creep back. It almost always happens that when someone rolls a natural 1 on a skill check to learn information, my warlord will say, "You know nothing about bears", or "You think bears are what happens when you're naked" or something of the like.

 

[Vorput]

lol, I'd never seen that. Thanks for posting

 

[Fate Lawson]

DC 30: Bears do indeed sh*t in the woods. Dire Bears sh*t wherever they damn well please.

 

[I'm A Banana]

Some things on that page are friggin' brilliant.

The bit on Tony DiTerlizzi:

Tony DiTerlizzi is a graphic artist who worked on Planescape. He was fired for making better drawings than everybody else and helping make Planescape the best setting in the world.

...heck yeah!

 

[Korgoth]

Brilliant!

Cave bears live in caves....

 

[genshou]

Wow. Just... wow.

I think I read this once, but the memories were too painful, and I blocked them out.

 

[Huw]

I recall a similar joke issue regarding 3e. Remember, the DC to identify a creature is 10+HD:

Player 1 (points at a butterfly): What's that?

Player 2 (barely glances up): Archon Apollinus, by the looks of it.

Player 1 (points at a mouse): And that?

Player 2 (barely glances up): That's a Mus spicilegus, or a steppe mouse. You'd normally find them further south.

Player 1 (points up in the sky): And what about that?

Player 2 (barely glances up): Just Mystacina robusta, a bat. Harmless, though I thought it was extinct.

Dungeon Master: A large animal bursts out of the woods. It is covered in shaggy brown fur, and has large claws. It rears up on its hind legs and growls at you, showing its teeth. Then it heads towards where you've stored your rations.

Player 1: Eek, what's that?

Player 2 (rolls a 2): I have no idea...

 

[GMforPowergamers]

In my game two weeks ago we had the opasite happen, although almost as funny

Player 1: Oh **** that is a Mind Flyaer
Player 2: a what?
Player 1: dude...they eat brains by pulling them out with those tenicles, they have minds blasts that stun, and they use to be bad *** wizards...
DM: Um I think I want a monster lore to justify all that...
Player 1: What skill
DM: Dungenering
Player 1: I don't have that can i use streetwise...
DM: No roll untrianed
Player 1: (Rolls 3 + 1/2level 6 + Int mod 0= total 9)
Player 2:Hey I have dunfenerring trained...(Rolls 19)
DM: OK your reactions...reverse them...

 

[Ed_Laprade]

Great stuff, an XP for you!