Imagine you're a Game Master with players who are interested in whatever game, system, or adventure you're offering to run for them. Doesn't matter what it is. It could be the latest adventure module as written, or something completely homebrewed. Even if it is completely open-ended and sandbox-like, you have something in mind to lead the group and draw them into a storyline that you hope they will find compelling and inclusive for both the players and their characters.
For the sake of argument, let's assume you offer to run the latest D&D adventure product, and your players are excited for it. Everyone in the group is at least familiar with the system, and this is not your first time running games for them. But since you have a life and a full-time job outside of gaming, you tend to run modules mostly as written. Nobody really minds because you're a competent GM who is reliable, engaging, and always prepared even when the group inevitably goes "off the rails".
So let's say you propose to run
Tomb of Annihilation (which is one that I am familiar with). You establish your parameters for the group during a session 0 and lay out the expectations. It will be set in
Forgotten Realms, which is familiar to your group. You describe the setting where it is expected to take place (i.e. mostly in the jungles of Chult). And give a brief introduction of the themes, which include navigating the tropical jungles, fighting exhaustion from heat and dehydration, tomb raiding, and dealing with the death curse. Characters are expected to start at level 1 and get up to level 11-12 by the end.
Now here come your players with their character ideas...
- Player 1 dives right in with one of his regular class/race builds optimized to beat the game. He couldn't tell you anything about his character except what is on his character sheet, though he could tell you exactly which options and level dips he will be taking during any step of the campaign. And his character's motive is to become the best <class> ever, which the player thinks is sufficient enough to appease the GM. It is not, but the GM knows how to pick his battles and moves on.
- Player 2 wants to play the most exotic race imaginable (i.e. one that lives underwater, or usually reviled by others) because "humans are boring", and then proceeds to play his character like a boring human dressed up in some exotic costume. His background and motive may be suitable, but the GM must spend extra time and effort explaining this unusual creature and finding a narrative that is more interesting than the fact that the creature's existence in the campaign itself and why everyone else is okay with it. A more common and accepted race would require less explanation and shoehorning.
- Player 3 rages against the idea of playing in another Forgotten Realms game and insists on having a character from another plane or world, complete with an over-developed background story that involves his preferred setting and can have NO CHANCE whatsoever of being worked into this campaign without porting over part of that world or setting with him.
- Player 4 is all about roleplaying, which in her mind can only be accomplished through social interactions with accompanied skill checks, like Diplomacy and Bluff. She opts for choices that strengthen her abilities to influence anyone she can communicate with (i.e. control the actions and outcomes of others), thus removing any real GM agency or control. However, she quickly grows to loathe combat, for which many sessions will have in this campaign, as she is very ineffective and prone to fall unconscious whenever she becomes a target.
- Finally, Player 5 is much like the OP of this thread. He cannot understand why the GM is incapable of providing a deep, emotional experience for his character even though he provided a fully detailed and interesting backstory, complete with motives, hooks, and potential tie-ins for the GM to use. The GM thinks he can incorporate some of those ideas with some tweaks and changing the details to use some of the things already in the campaign that the player doesn't know about, but the player feels that the GM is trying to rob him of his agency and creativity if he doesn't follow the player's ideas exactly.
If you're the Game Master here, where do you think the problem might be? Are you blaming yourself for not being more flexible and accommodating? Do you think maybe the players don't trust you because they feel more entitled to play exactly what they want, even ignoring the parameters and advice you are willing to provide at the start? Or are they satisfied to play in "your story", even though it's clearly not your story but a published module that you didn't create, as long as they can play "their story" in it?
In literature, as in any narrative, good stories are about characters; characters that belong in the story. If you want to create a narrative game experience that involves your characters, learn to collaborate with the people involved.
Only the GM has information and insight about what is to come, and they may not want to reveal and ruin some of the surprise. Give the seeds for your character and trust your GM to work it into the game in a way that you couldn't possibly foresee. The results may surprise and delight you.
Also, work with the other players to develop relationships between your characters beyond what skills and roles to take. They don't need to be friends or agree on certain topics, which makes it more interesting at times. But they don't need to blindly accept whoever shows up at the table, either. You want a deeper story for your hero? Look at your cast of co-stars. Remember: Monologues are for villains.
