You will never get a meaningful roleplaying experience worrying about rules. The moment you look at your sheet the roleplaying is over, so to achieve whatever character immersion you want, you have to go back to OD&D or D&D or a relaxed AD&D and just roleplay with a system that has next to no stats. It also helps if you have a DM that doesn't worry about rules either and just says "yes, and..." a lot and you say it right back to him.
The first sentence is true, the second is a massive oversimplification - and if the character sheet were entirely something that got in the way freeform would be objectively superior and we might as well just give up on D&D in favour of freeform and Improv. One reason to not worry about rules is you've already mastered them - and rules help bring you on the same page for complex interactions. "Yes-and" only takes you so farm
I've already
mentioned Apocalypse World before in this thread to show how well the right rule system can encourage to the sort of character growth
@innerdude wants (and a time it did with complete newbies) but there are a lot of things Apocalypse World does very right. This is partly because Vincent Baker's wife, Meguy Baker, is an experienced freeform RPer, and Vincent's goal therefore is always to create a game that provides her a
better experience than freeform would be - and she's his collaborator and first playtester.
And there are several things he does in all his games that enable this. Some of which are:
- Keeps the stats few - I can't recall more than five stats/skills you actually roll in any of his games
- Keeps the rolls simple and consistent with not too many modifiers so working out the outcome is fast
- Keeps the abilities few and evocative so they are easy to remember (one of the Apocalypse World moves is literally called NOT TO BE naughty word WITH and makes the single fighter equal to a small gang)
- Keeps the rhythm of the game the same as freform - so you roll in Apocalypse World at exactly the same points you'd hand over narration in freeform.
- Designs the rules so that they are in line with what you would actually do in freeform.
- Keeps the outcomes far richer than a simple pass-fail so rolling adds to the game.
Points 1-4 all minimise the disruption of looking at the character sheet - you look at it when you'd hand over narration anyway (point 4) and 1-3 all mean that there's not
that much to remember. Point 5 again minimises the disruption. And point 6 is where it becomes actively better than freeform while having few downsides.
To illustrate how this works, Apocalypse World doesn't have any Perception skill. Instead when you want to look round the room to work out what's going on here you use the Apocalypse World "Read a Sitch" move.
Read a Sitch from Apocalypse World said:
When you read a charged situation, roll+sharp. On a hit, you can ask the MC questions. Whenever you act on one of the MC’s answers, take +1. On a 10+, ask 3. On a 7–9, ask 1:
- Where’s my best escape route / way in / way past?
- Which enemy is most vulnerable to me?
- Which enemy is the biggest threat?
- What should I be on the lookout for?
- What’s my enemy’s true position?
- Who’s in control here?
On a miss, ask 1 anyway, but be prepared for the worst.
Everyone knows how to Roll + Sharp (roll 2d6 and add the one of your five stats called Sharp) and you can do it proactively without being annoying by spamming perception checks because there should always be an interesting answer. Also "be prepared for the worst" on a failed roll means that the GM has an absolute right to say "Your enemy's true position is standing right behind you placing a pistol against the back of your head" or "you catch the flash of triumph in the eyes of the waiter and realise that your drink had a bitter aftertaste. The room starts spinning." so the roll isn't risk free - it's a legitimate answer to the question and a way you'd find out. Just an ... unfortunate ... way because you failed the roll.
But fundamentally all those questions are things that when looking round a character is likely to be looking out for - and a character is likely to want to know wtf is going on. It's both a much more active choice and a choice more in line with what players naturally do than just a simple "Roll perception" which is one of eighteen different skills (17 in 4e, 33+ in 3.X) on your skill list and doesn't provide anything remotely as defined in terms of what you are looking for as asking one to three of those six listed questions does. So it fits in line with what freeform RPers would be doing naturally when their character is worried about trouble.
Saying "Yes and" is all very well - and I've enough of an experience of improv to know where it can lead. But one of the things RPG rules and mechanics provides is that gritty extra "yes but" in ways that work and that build. However you need to do it carefully.