D&D 5E Best disposal of body or item spell!

Plane Sailing

Astral Admin - Mwahahaha!
I used to think that disintegrate was one of the best spells for disposing of a body or object, but reading the spell list last night I realised that there is an even better one - lower level too!

I speak of none other than leomunds secret chest.

A spell which has always seemed to be of dubious value because of the possibility of losing things. But what if that problem becomes a feature?

Dump the object or body to be eliminated into the chest, send the chest off into the ethereal plane, then destroy the small chest that is used for conjuring it. The chest and all its contents are "irretrievably lost in the ethereal plane".

That would make it pretty hard to bring back to life a dead body or recover an evil magic item without the use of 9th level magic spells.

Neat?
 

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Tortoise

First Post
The idea would certainly work though it is an expensive option. At least five thousand and 50 gold to cover time, materials, labor, hiring the right assassin costs extra, etc. This is the type of thing someone has crafted for your stated purpose only if they are certain the benefit far exceeds the cost.

The real question then becomes, what happens if some ethereal entity happens upon the lost chest. As a DM, I can think of plenty of story options to spring on parties many levels later.

This might even work as a plot element for an adventure. The PCs need to find the small chest before it can be destroyed or the time runs out, in order to recover someone important for raise dead or resurrection.
 

Plane Sailing

Astral Admin - Mwahahaha!
I agree, it would probably make a more interesting plot element for an adventure rather than a tactic which adventurers might want to use regularly (even if there was such a need, which I think unlikely!)
 

Voort

Explorer
A Druid has a 3rd level spell to solve the matter: Conjure Animals.

1. Summon a Giant Toad or two.
2. Feed the body to them.
3. Dismiss them.
4. Profit?
 

steeldragons

Steeliest of the dragons
Epic
A handful of Acid Splashes and a couple Melf's Acid Arrows oughta do the trick....depending on the size of the thing to being "disposed". Not as efficiently...as more than one spell slot is needed. But much lower level slots.

Step 1. Create pool of goo in a dungeons known to house scavenging creatures (a gelatinous cube, some oozes, whatever's around).
Step 2. Leave pool of goo in scavenger infested dungeons and let nature take its course.
 

AmerginLiath

Adventurer
Reading this thread directly after writing about using Delayed-Blast Fireball as a terrorist-style bomb, I'm really glad that I tend not to play evil or at least never play chaotic characters, or else, I'd be getting too many ideas... ;)
 

Dausuul

Legend
I used to think that disintegrate was one of the best spells for disposing of a body or object, but reading the spell list last night I realised that there is an even better one - lower level too!

I speak of none other than leomunds secret chest.

A spell which has always seemed to be of dubious value because of the possibility of losing things. But what if that problem becomes a feature?

Dump the object or body to be eliminated into the chest, send the chest off into the ethereal plane, then destroy the small chest that is used for conjuring it. The chest and all its contents are "irretrievably lost in the ethereal plane".

That would make it pretty hard to bring back to life a dead body or recover an evil magic item without the use of 9th level magic spells.

Neat?
I wouldn't use it to get rid of a corpse; disintegrate does the job just as well and a lot cheaper. Or, hell, just build a mundane pyre, burn the body, and dump the ashes in the sea. As wizards, we tend to reach for the spellbook even when we don't have to.

However, as a means to rid yourself of a powerful evil artifact, it's a pretty good play. It does depend to some extent on what your DM takes "irretrievably lost" to mean. My interpretation would be, "It's somewhere on the Ethereal Plane and nobody in the multiverse knows where." I've been trying to find a spell that would enable you to locate or summon such an item, and--a bit to my surprise--coming up empty:

  • Locate object only works if you're within 1,000 feet.
  • Contact other plane is only as good as the knowledge of whatever you contact. If no one in the multiverse knows the information you seek, you're out of luck.
  • Commune is likewise only as good as what your god knows.
  • Find the path requires you to be familiar with the destination, which must be a fixed location.
  • Teleport takes you to a place, not an object or person.
  • Drawmij's instant summons requires the object to be prepared beforehand.
  • Scrying targets creatures, not objects.
  • Legend lore could possibly work depending on how the DM interprets "lore." However, I and (I suspect) most DMs would rule that it provides only lore which is known to someone, somewhere.
  • Wish... well, wish is always a wild card. But this would be an advanced use of wish, with all the risks that entails: Crippling weakness and damage from casting spells, a 1 in 3 chance of never being able to cast wish again, and the possibility of making a deadly mistake in wording the wish. Even an archmage will think long and hard before accepting such hazards.
(Amusingly, this does appear to be one of the few legit uses for Drawmij's instant summons. Put DIS on your MacGuffin, and it's safe from being secret chested into oblivion.)
 
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Plane Sailing

Astral Admin - Mwahahaha!
Much lower level than disintegrate though - 4th vs 6th, so much more accessible. What's a few thousand gold for getting rid of the evil artifact? :)
 


eryndel

Explorer
From a story perspective, I would imagine an evil artifact would find a way to be found. I don't think tossing the One Ring deep into the western ocean would have prevented Sauron's rise to power. It is a pretty slick use to slow down Team Evil for a while, especially since evil relics (and the occasional phylactery) tend to be warded against more mundane destruction.
 

Mishihari Lord

First Post
Now I'm imagining a place deep in the Ethereal Plane littered with all of the secret chests lost since the spell was invented. That would be a fascinating place to loot if it could be found.
 

AmerginLiath

Adventurer
"A frightened old man in the tavern shoves an a copy of a map to the Ethereal Graveyard in your pouch right before being seized by a cabal of evil wizards. Given your debts to the king and the temptation of one last score before you retire, do you really want to let those creepy fellows in the robes get at the Artifacts of the Ages before you do?"
 

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