Previously, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer…
The mayor has been defeated. Sunnydale has been saved, again. Buffy and the Scoobies detonated the entire high school, and pureblood demon Mayor Wilkins along with it. The (surviving) students of Sunnydale High’s last graduating class are just beginning a well-deserved summer vacation… and we all know that nothing happens on the Hellmouth during the summer, right?
Contingency
It was night in Sunnydale, and the wind skirled through the treetops. The air was warm and it smelled of dead leaves and evergreen. Some nearby street lights threw a sickly yellow-white light across the headstones. The grass was wet and cool beneath the Slayer’s bare feet as she walked through it.
Buffy moved slowly, looking from side to side. Nothing was out tonight. There was supposed to be a vampire here, wasn’t there? A vampire, a demon… something. She was here to kill it. That’s what she did. The mayor was dead, Angel had left town, and now her life was simple again: Find undead beasties, kill, quip, celebrate with nonfat yogurt.
She came across a fresh grave, with loose dirt piled in a mound before the headstone. A small garter snake slithered over the grass in front of her. She spoke softly, which she did often on patrol, to ease tension. “Out of my way, snake, I need to find a vampire.” She stepped over the snake and walked towards the man standing there.
“Giles?” Buffy approached the man, and he turned. It was indeed Giles. He looked as nonchalant about meeting her here in the cemetery in the dead of night as one might meet a friend at a dinner party.
“Buffy, hello.” He smiled amiably.
“Have you seen a vampire around here?”
He replied “There's one nearby, I know it. I'm holding a rose for him. Do you see?” He extended his arm, and he was holding a single red rose. He opened his hand, palm up, and Buffy saw that two of the thorns on the stem had pricked him and drawn blood. She looked at him and he walked away.
Buffy saw Willow, and walked to her. Her friend was grinning, in that Willow way. She was delighting herself with stomping upon the ants that were roaming about an anthill. Her small red sneakers crushed the ants on the cemetery lawn with a quick, frantic rhythm.
“Willow, do you know if there’s a vampire near here? I’m supposed to slay it.”
Willow shrugged and said “I think so. I haven't seen any, on account of all the ants."
Buffy nodded, confused, and walked away. She came upon an open grave and looked inside. Alexander Harris was standing down there, clutching his arms and shivering. “Xander? Have you seen a vampire?”
He looked up at her. “N-not from down here.”
“You should get out of that grave.”
Xander nodded and climbed out of the grave. He stood before her, and smiled. “I’m walking around, now, like you.”
Buffy turned and left him there. She saw Oz and approached him. The small, deadpan musician was standing on the lawn, looking as unconcerned with his surroundings as ever. “Oz. What are you doing here?”
He bent over. “I’m chasing rabbits.” He gingerly picked a rabbit up and held it in his arms, petting it.
“Have you seen any vampires around here?”
He nodded. “Yes. In fact, there’s one behind you.”
The Slayer whirled, holding her stake up, ready to snap out and pierce the creature’s heart. When she saw what was standing there, her courage curdled in her heart and she screamed.
Buffy snapped awake and clutched the bedspread with eyes wide. She was in her room, safe as always. Still, like always, the dream had felt so real.
Her mother walked in with a basket of laundry. “Oh, good, you’re up.” She bent and began to pick up socks. “You’ve been sleeping all morning, it’s nearly eleven. It’s summertime! Get up, get out, do something!”
Buffy sat up, rubbed her head and muttered under her breath. “Oh. Okay.”
.
(cue organ music, wolf howl, and logo over the moon)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
(Nerf Herder begins to rock your FREAKIN’ socks off)
Starring
Dartan Michelle Gellar
Nichol(Wee J)as Brendon
AlyZiona Hannigan
Charisma CarpeNPC
Seth “Nobody played me” Green
And
Xaltar Stewart Head
as Giles
Created by
Joss Whedon
(Cue first commercial break)