I've had similar problems as well being in my 30s. I also can't recommend roll20 enough. Obviously in person is always the best option but roll20 isn't far behind. Most people I've encountered on there are all in the same boat as us. I've been able to keep a group of four together for almost a year now for a weekly game. I've never been able to accomplish that in person in 20yrs of being a DM for a bi weekly/monthly game even. We have only missed maybe 3 games in the whole time due to last minute cancels. You should give it shot.
D&D 5E Campaigns losing steam
I have been trying to run a Shadowrun campaign once a month, trying to schedule each weekend session separately. It has not worked well.
Meanwhile, my Deadlands game has been running for years, on a, "we play the first and third Tuesday of the month" basis. I think there may be an oddity of human cognition, where committing to a single particular day a month in advance is hard, but committing to a regular pattern is easier.
With busy people, I also think it helps a great deal if it isn't just a matter of playing a game. My Deadlands game is the place where people who like each other, but who wouldn't otherwise hang out (for reasons of time and separate social circles) get to spend time together. I'm giving the folks a structured excuse to be social in a busy life, which may raise the priority in their minds above "play a game".
Meanwhile, my Deadlands game has been running for years, on a, "we play the first and third Tuesday of the month" basis. I think there may be an oddity of human cognition, where committing to a single particular day a month in advance is hard, but committing to a regular pattern is easier.
With busy people, I also think it helps a great deal if it isn't just a matter of playing a game. My Deadlands game is the place where people who like each other, but who wouldn't otherwise hang out (for reasons of time and separate social circles) get to spend time together. I'm giving the folks a structured excuse to be social in a busy life, which may raise the priority in their minds above "play a game".
Jester David
Hero
I don't schedule games for periods people cannot come.
But if someone cancels at the last minute we all play anyway and that person just misses out on playing (or receives half experience). I'm not going to offset the rest of the table's enjoyment and fun because one person got doublebooked.
But if someone cancels at the last minute we all play anyway and that person just misses out on playing (or receives half experience). I'm not going to offset the rest of the table's enjoyment and fun because one person got doublebooked.
Mistwell
Crusty Old Meatwad (he/him)
Here is how I deal with it:
1) We have 5 players. But, we will run the session if a minimum of 3 players show up. All the player's have agreed to this. I do a brief write-up afterwards so if people miss the session they can catch up on what happened. Missing people have their PC's played by someone else who does show up.
2) I don't do much prep. I don't find a lot of prep really pays off very much. It's better, for me, to get experience winging it, dealing with situations as they arise and making judgement calls in the moment, than it is to spend a lot of time preparing for situations that might or might not happen. What prep time I do spend is much more generic - NPC names and personalities, links to random generators for various situations, printing/copying a few pages of monsters that I think they PCs might encounter that session based on where they seem to be headed, etc.. I don't typically spend more than a half hour prep for any given session, and it has not harmed my sessions at all. In fact, when I used to prep for hours and hours before a session, I felt a lot of sessions went worse as my inclination to railroad towards things I had prepared for increased. Now, I am much more likely to let the PCs wander and do whatever they want.
3) Recruit players more often. We started our game about 2 years ago with 4 players, two of them dropped over time, and they were replaced by 3 more (at one time we were 6 players). Keeping momentum going by keeping the game running even when a player drops out a lot is really useful, and recruiting more players is what helps with that.
casterblaster
First Post
I too have similar problems but we are all to blame in my case. We started the starter set adventure when it came out and have yet to finish it. We would play every Monday for about two hours due to work and such. Sometimes players would get sick or just not feel like playing or life would get in the way. We had fun with it though. Mostly I only had to regular players while I dm and played a cleric that was started by a third player that dropped out. I find it best not to be stubborn when games have to be canceled, I feel like it turns it into "work" and not an enjoyable game. As of now we haven't played since January. I have had to cancel because well family comes first. We are also in our 30's and its more of a distraction than a serious hobby. I know it gets frustrating cause I can relate to lugging books to work and getting excited to play then it all falls apart. I just say "next Monday?" if we play great if not then theres next Monday. Just with past experience trying to force time and place and having the we will play with or with out attitude tended to drive players off so I have learn to relax that attitude. Oh and playing with just one player isn't really my cup of tea, its not as engaging or fun for me or the player but that could just be me and my dm skills at fault. I couldn't never take play-by-post serious either. Guess im just too old school and prefer the face to face, pen and paper. Good luck though I feel your pain.
Gilladian
Adventurer
Check with your local public library. They might have a study room or conference room you can use. We have a group that does that at my library. Or see if your local community college would let you use an area in the library or student life building.
not-so-newguy
I'm the Straw Man in your argument
I had similar problems with my campaign. Distance was a major problem. One player in particular was frustrating because she insisted on playing even though she'd consistently walked away from the table ("I'll just be doing the dishes, please continue talking") and had a very busy schedule. Gah! My sister-in-law, bless her heart.
I'll be joining in a game at the local hobby store this week(first non-home game). It's kind of nice to just being a player again and responsible only for myself!
Campaigns seem to be something more for a committed group rather than a bunch of new gamers. I would suggest that new gamers should probably have just an adventure to get their feet wet and then assess if they want to start a campaign. Obviously that only works if you are starting fresh with a group, and I am sure that there are many cases where a new player has been hooked and kept going with a campaign.
As for me, I have been blessed with a committed group of 5-7 players that have met weekly for a year and a half. It started as an Encounters group that morphed into a home group at the store on Wednesday nights. The other encounters groups had very spotty attendance, but somehow this group showed up week after week. After Legacy fo the Crystal Shard we decided to do 5e Age of Worms but ran Mines of Madness first to push back are start date a bit and run less of it under the play test rules.
For a year and a half, we have had almost full attendance on a weekly basis. We have only missed about 3 sessions when I was on business trips and in the hospital. I think a few things have helped contribute to how well the group has stayed together.
* Everyone played D&D before, and everyone wanted a regular game to meet at.
* The time slot followed on from the Encounters time slot we used in the beginning. Our normal time is Wednesdays somewhere within 18:00-22:00.
* We only meet for about 3 hours at a time on average.
* Even when I could not make it, they met and played a game.
* Only one of our players is slightly disruptive, and he has calmed down a lot as he has integrated more with the group (he was on a tour of duty for the first 5 months of our campaign).
* We don't take ourselves too seriously. We laugh a lot and have fun with the game.
* We take a one session break from the campaign after every chapter of the AP to play something else to try to ward off campaign fatigue. We have played Star Wars X-Wind miniatures game, Formula D, watched Gamers: Dorkness Rising. Next week I am trying out the new mass combat rules as a one off with the group.
* We are flexible with out schedules. If someone knows they cannot make it on Wednesday for a while, we see if we can play a different night of the week. During the Christmas rush, one of our players had 12 hour days 6 days a week. We played on Sundays for 6 weeks and then got off that as soon as possible afterwards because wives were starting to get grumpy about losing Sunday nights. When my wife is on business trips, we play a different night of the week so I can take my kids to Wednesday night church. Last Christmas and New Year were on Wednesday, but we were already playing on Sundays, so we were able to keep on playing. One of the players has later end times at work right now, so we are running 19:00-22:00.
Probably a little of all these things have helped us keep playing regularly. Our group has had 6-7 players for the entire time of our campaign. Our ages range from mid 20s to late 50s. 5 of us are married. At least two of us have kids at home.
As for me, I have been blessed with a committed group of 5-7 players that have met weekly for a year and a half. It started as an Encounters group that morphed into a home group at the store on Wednesday nights. The other encounters groups had very spotty attendance, but somehow this group showed up week after week. After Legacy fo the Crystal Shard we decided to do 5e Age of Worms but ran Mines of Madness first to push back are start date a bit and run less of it under the play test rules.
For a year and a half, we have had almost full attendance on a weekly basis. We have only missed about 3 sessions when I was on business trips and in the hospital. I think a few things have helped contribute to how well the group has stayed together.
* Everyone played D&D before, and everyone wanted a regular game to meet at.
* The time slot followed on from the Encounters time slot we used in the beginning. Our normal time is Wednesdays somewhere within 18:00-22:00.
* We only meet for about 3 hours at a time on average.
* Even when I could not make it, they met and played a game.
* Only one of our players is slightly disruptive, and he has calmed down a lot as he has integrated more with the group (he was on a tour of duty for the first 5 months of our campaign).
* We don't take ourselves too seriously. We laugh a lot and have fun with the game.
* We take a one session break from the campaign after every chapter of the AP to play something else to try to ward off campaign fatigue. We have played Star Wars X-Wind miniatures game, Formula D, watched Gamers: Dorkness Rising. Next week I am trying out the new mass combat rules as a one off with the group.
* We are flexible with out schedules. If someone knows they cannot make it on Wednesday for a while, we see if we can play a different night of the week. During the Christmas rush, one of our players had 12 hour days 6 days a week. We played on Sundays for 6 weeks and then got off that as soon as possible afterwards because wives were starting to get grumpy about losing Sunday nights. When my wife is on business trips, we play a different night of the week so I can take my kids to Wednesday night church. Last Christmas and New Year were on Wednesday, but we were already playing on Sundays, so we were able to keep on playing. One of the players has later end times at work right now, so we are running 19:00-22:00.
Probably a little of all these things have helped us keep playing regularly. Our group has had 6-7 players for the entire time of our campaign. Our ages range from mid 20s to late 50s. 5 of us are married. At least two of us have kids at home.
evilbob
Explorer
It's not just you.
It's also not just D&D. Pretty much any hobby - or group of people - finds it hard to get together consistently, especially as they get older and acquire more responsibilities, unless something else is artificially bringing them together (like being at college, for example). There really isn't any secret, as others have alluded to: you just have to keep trying until you find enough people who have the time, energy, and financial stability to be able to dedicate a small portion of their week or month to a hobby in a consistent manner. It's literally the same as anything else, although some hobbies are more socially acceptable to do this with.
The only trick, which some have hinted at, is the same thing as anything else where you are trying to get people together: continually try to meet new people until you can find a stable group. It's really, really hard - not just with D&D - and it takes a huge amount of time and energy, but that's it. Just keep meeting people until you find enough of them that you can put a group together. The internet can help a little, and not being a jerk helps: you'll notice these two rules apply to all other "get people together" activities (especially including dating!), because really, it's the same dynamic. You just have to keep trying. Sorry your luck is down right now, but it will turn around eventually so long as you keep at it.
It's also not just D&D. Pretty much any hobby - or group of people - finds it hard to get together consistently, especially as they get older and acquire more responsibilities, unless something else is artificially bringing them together (like being at college, for example). There really isn't any secret, as others have alluded to: you just have to keep trying until you find enough people who have the time, energy, and financial stability to be able to dedicate a small portion of their week or month to a hobby in a consistent manner. It's literally the same as anything else, although some hobbies are more socially acceptable to do this with.
The only trick, which some have hinted at, is the same thing as anything else where you are trying to get people together: continually try to meet new people until you can find a stable group. It's really, really hard - not just with D&D - and it takes a huge amount of time and energy, but that's it. Just keep meeting people until you find enough of them that you can put a group together. The internet can help a little, and not being a jerk helps: you'll notice these two rules apply to all other "get people together" activities (especially including dating!), because really, it's the same dynamic. You just have to keep trying. Sorry your luck is down right now, but it will turn around eventually so long as you keep at it.
As mentioned be up front in the beginning that this is a commitment, people sacrifice a lot to be there, so cancelling last minute is not cool.
You're either in, which means in every week baring a family emergency or you're out. You have to treat it like a sports game where you're part of a team rather than just a game.
You will weed through a few people but will get there eventually. I recently found a new player who is keen as mustard.
You're either in, which means in every week baring a family emergency or you're out. You have to treat it like a sports game where you're part of a team rather than just a game.
You will weed through a few people but will get there eventually. I recently found a new player who is keen as mustard.
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