Can anyone explain the logic behind the silent treatment?

[Felon]

My cell phone tells me when I've missed a call. If I'm able, I call them back. I assume other people do likewise (though I know not all do). If I don't call back, then it's because I'm not able to, and repeated calls are a waste of your time (and repeated messages are a waste of mine). Six calls to my cell, and two to my house, from someone I don't know very well, would seem creepy and excessive.

I think you guys are reading a little too much into that. If it were calls out of the blue, I'd say it's decidedly creepy to have a guy calling you repeatedly. But if you'd made a commitment, and you knew the guy calling was counting on you, then I figure that once zero-hour rolls around you'd darn well know why he was trying to reach you like crazy, and it's not to ask you what you're wearing or if you've checked in on your children. He wants to know what the deal is--where the heck you are and if you're going to be late or if you're baling.

And regardless of all that, the bottom line is that whether I called him once or thirty-eight times, we're talking about a point where the die is already cast. Communication has been severed. My calls are effect, not causality.

It's been a few days now. Still no word from this guy?

No word delivered, and none expected. I should also add, we have a Yahoogroup that he joined and participated in (once again, a gesture of commitment), and he hasn't quit the group, so he's either getting our ongoing email or he's put us on his block list. Or, heck, he may have had a genuine emergency. I haven't made an attempt to contact him since then either. Seems like I put the ball squarely in his court.

Giving the matter some thought, I figure he was either fishing for other groups and decided to jump ship, or his significant other discouraged him (actively or passively).

 

[Thurbane]

In the age of the cellphone, it's hard for me to accept someone being incommunicado for more than a few hours.

O/T, but I need to vent.

That's one of my big beefs with cellphones (I worked in the industry for several years, so I have quite a few) - this feeling that all of a sudden everyone in the civilised world must be contactable 24/7 really honks me off. Sometimes people NEED to be unreachable. Sometimes people dont want Tom, Dick and Harry to be able to press a button and speak to them within 20 seconds. :\

Cellphones are a great invention, but for some people they are more addictive than smack. At a place I once worked, we had some loser actually threaten to firebomb our premises unless his cellhone was repaired and returned to him within the hour.

Now, all of that is probably quite irrelvant to the question of the no-show player. Sorry.

 

[Aus_Snow]

Now, all of that is probably quite irrelvant to the question of the no-show player.

Dunno. It was funny though!

The crazy guy I mean. Ain't service/support jobs grand?

 

[Hussar]

um ...wow....either I put up with way more crap than you do, or I've been really lucky or you've been really unlucky.

I've only had about 5 people in the last 4 years that didn't work out. 3 of them were good enough to infom me of their decision.

Ah, the joys of online gaming. And a rather open door policy when it came to taking in new players. I always figured that if you wanted to play, groovy. I've just had so many people sit down, draw up a character, waste my time with umpteen questions, then never show up at gameday. Sigh.

OTOH, just had a player come in, draw up a character and play once. He then very politely informed me that he wasn't going to be playing anymore. Reaffirms my faith in humanity.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

Cellphones are a great invention, but for some people they are more addictive than smack. At a place I once worked, we had some loser actually threaten to firebomb our premises unless his cellhone was repaired and returned to him within the hour.

And did you? I would have taken twice as long as normal to repair it on purpose just to spite him. When I worked in retail I was always extra polite to the customers that were really rude and angry. It seemed to make them even ruder and angrier which I found entertaining. But I'm a little strange like that.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Felon]

Sometimes people NEED to be unreachable. Sometimes people dont want Tom, Dick and Harry to be able to press a button and speak to them within 20 seconds.

Well, don't answer your phone if you don't want to--it has an off button. OTOH, I hope you won't go making commitments to Tom, Dick, or Harry and then get miffed at them when they try to reach you about your no-show.

 

[The Thayan Menace]

Commitment!

Well, don't answer your phone if you don't want to--it has an off button. OTOH, I hope you won't go making commitments to Tom, Dick, or Harry and then get miffed at them when they try to reach you about your no-show.

Yup, you're definitely pulling a Glenn Close ... or maybe it's just a Cameron Diaz (in Vanilla Sky).

Just ask yourself this, bro ... how long can you stay pissed off?

-Samir

 

[ssampier]

Eight calls are a bit excessive in my book. I personally HATE calling a person back. I often would be required to a call a customer without an answering machine several times to get through. It was quite annoying.

Of course, that's not really the question, though. I think it's the question why someone would flake out on you. We don't know. I think his lack of communication is a personal problem.

I probably suffer from a bit of it. After being all day on the phone with customers and dealing with people's issues all day, I just want to go home and veg.

And did you? I would have taken twice as long as normal to repair it on purpose just to spite him. When I worked in retail I was always extra polite to the customers that were really rude and angry. It seemed to make them even ruder and angrier which I found entertaining. But I'm a little strange like that.

Olaf the Stout

I guess I am rude and spiteful just the same. I did the same thing. I would often go out of my way to help the nice appreciative customer. The rude SOB I didn't even want to take their name or acknowledge I ever spoke to them.

 

[Thurbane]

Well, don't answer your phone if you don't want to--it has an off button. OTOH, I hope you won't go making commitments to Tom, Dick, or Harry and then get miffed at them when they try to reach you about your no-show.

Oh indeed, I agree with you 100%. hence:

Now, all of that is probably quite irrelvant to the question of the no-show player. Sorry.

Also, with my own phone, which I frequently do turn off when I need to not be interrupted, it has a recorded message saying that a text has been sent informing me of a missed call. You'd be surprised how many people still thinks this means they deserve a reply within 5 minutes.

And did you? I would have taken twice as long as normal to repair it on purpose just to spite him. When I worked in retail I was always extra polite to the customers that were really rude and angry. It seemed to make them even ruder and angrier which I found entertaining. But I'm a little strange like that.

Olaf the Stout

In this particular case my boss over-ruled me, I just wanted to stare the guy in the eyes while I called the cops and reported a bomb threat - I had the moron's name and address in my repair report.

But in general, I was exactly the same - polite and understanding customers ALWAYS got precedence over rude and pushy customers.

 

[Thurbane]

The funny thing about working in the mobile service industry was the number of people who, when asked for a contact number to be notified when their phone was repaired, would list the number for the phone we had with us for repair.

Also, people who would list their home phone numbers as their business hours contact number, then get annoyed that no one had called them (they usually had no answering machine).