Can anyone explain the logic behind the silent treatment?

[Gundark]

After going through some 50 players in the past three ish years, I absolutely HEART my current players.

um ...wow....either I put up with way more crap than you do, or I've been really lucky or you've been really unlucky.

I've only had about 5 people in the last 4 years that didn't work out. 3 of them were good enough to infom me of their decision.

 

[Harmon]

Seems to me that the guy is rude, and disrespectful. People expect you at a certein time, and you flake out.

Seems calling him a bunch of times isn't stalking so much as "dude, are you okay?" After which you can bitch him out for being a rude dip (considering that he said- "ya, fine, just not feeling like gaming," or whatever). Consider that he could have gotten into an accident and that was why he didn't show then its okay (hay, he was in a coma, give him a break).

If all is well and he just blew you off for the day then say- "laters, dude," as rude people arn't worth having in your group.

Peace all,

 

[Jesus_marley]

I'll keep this brief, my wrist hurts.

Technology isn't part of the solution (someone mentioned the ease of contacting someone in the cell phone era), it's part of the problem.

When I was a kid...no answering machines, no caller ID, no cell phones...you just answered your phone, period.

Then came answering machines, and we started letting the machine get it. That was bad enough, but then came cell phones with voicemail, then caller ID. Now people don't answer the phone sometimes when it's someone they WANT to talk too. They call the person back five minutes later on their terms with a lame excuse like, I had my hands full. (ever catch yourself doing this?).
Cedric

Dude.... you nailed it right there... and you beat me to it as well.....

 

[Nellisir]

I'm still trying to accept that you called him EIGHT TIMES.

I don't say it isn't totally rude and obnoxious of him, but seriously? I don't think I'd call a GIRL eight times if she blew me off.

Hey, some people are jerks. Them I stop calling, that's all. I'm sure nine times out of ten they're just as happy.

Exactly. Call the cell, leave a message. Call the house, leave a message. Maybe, after an hour, call the cell again. But eight times? That's just creepy.

 

[Cedric]

Exactly. Call the cell, leave a message. Call the house, leave a message. Maybe, after an hour, call the cell again. But eight times? That's just creepy.

Eight times over the course of a day is about twice as many times as I would have called...but far from creepy. In the cell phone era, that's just become more and more common a way for people to communicate.

 

[Felon]

Eight times over the course of a day is about twice as many times as I would have called...but far from creepy. In the cell phone era, that's just become more and more common a way for people to communicate.

Right. I'm not even sure it was eight calls, but we're not talking about eight messages, just trying to see if the guy'll pick up. Maybe his phone was in the charger, or had it silenced, or was called into work again. All kinds of reasons, and it's easy enough just to hit the little green button every hour or so. Not sure why that's regarded as creepy. As stated, his not showing wasn't some trivial matter--it was a hassle.

 

[Felon]

You are preaching to the choir. I hate to sound ageist but, in my experience, the only people with whom this ever happens are people born since 1980.

Well, this guy was in his thirties, and actually in the same line of work I am. The whole point (which a lot of folks seem to be missing out on) was that we seemed to be equally excited about the character he was making and him joining the group. He actually moved here and gamed with us once (under a different DM) and said he was pleased at the group he found.

 

[Nellisir]

Right. I'm not even sure it was eight calls, but we're not talking about eight messages, just trying to see if the guy'll pick up. Maybe his phone was in the charger, or had it silenced, or was called into work again. All kinds of reasons, and it's easy enough just to hit the little green button every hour or so. Not sure why that's regarded as creepy. As stated, his not showing wasn't some trivial matter--it was a hassle.

My cell phone tells me when I've missed a call. If I'm able, I call them back. I assume other people do likewise (though I know not all do). If I don't call back, then it's because I'm not able to, and repeated calls are a waste of your time (and repeated messages are a waste of mine). Six calls to my cell, and two to my house, from someone I don't know very well, would seem creepy and excessive.

I'm -NOT- "blaming" you. After all, the guy clearly wasn't communicating with you in the first place. And I take the games I run very seriously - unless there was a serious reason for being incommunicado, he'd be out of my game at this point. But just going on the "eight phone calls" thing, and not knowing the nature of your previous communications, or the tone of your messages -- it comes across as a little over the top.

It's been a few days now. Still no word from this guy?

 

[w_earle_wheeler]

If someone comes across as too pushy, then I tend to ignore them.

I'm not saying that's the case in this instance, but those are the occassions when I give the silent treatment.

Basically, I choose "silence" over telling them exactly what I think about their behavior and risking a whiny drama-storm, online or in real life.

 

[Silver Moon]

And I don't call people after 9 or 10pm.

A good rule to have. My wife and I were both less-than-thrilled with a seller who we recently bought something on EBay from who called after midnight to complain that I hadn't left him feedback yet. He was from the West Coast, so it was only a quarter-past-nine to him, but since he had mailed me the product he knew I lived three hours different.

As for the no-show player, life happen's. He probably was very enthusiastic before but then things intervened. Don't sweat it, just move on to the next player.