Can anyone explain the logic behind the silent treatment?
- Thread starter Felon
- Start date
Nifft
Penguin Herder
Felon said:
*Ring-ring!*
"Hello?"
"Hey Bob, what's up?"
"Hey Nate!"
"Listen, me and Ruth are going to go to Jimbo's bbq tomorrow, how about you?"
~~~ wavy lines ~~~
Scenario 1
"Oh, too bad, I got plans."
"Oh yeah? What's up?"
"I'm going to play D&D with some guys."
"D&D? Huh. Who else is going?"
"It's actually with a bunch of strangers I met on the Internet..."
"Uh, okay Bob."
~~~ wavy lines ~~~
Scenario 2
"Oh yeah? What time?"
"Prolly 2 PM, so we can eat a bit and have time to watch the game."
"Yeah, cool, I'll be there."
~~~ wavy lines ~~~
That's the denial I'm talking about: the refusal to admit -- even to one's self -- that one is about to do something very nerdy. Oh the shame, the heartfelt suffering, the cowardly retreat from reality and reason.
He can be rude to you if he doesn't admit that:
1/ your game is "real" (important); and/or
2/ you are "real" (important); and/or
3/ the whole hobby is "real" (important).
Anyway -- that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it, like a goatee on a bard.
-- N
barsoomcore
Unattainable Ideal
I'm still trying to accept that you called him EIGHT TIMES.
I don't say it isn't totally rude and obnoxious of him, but seriously? I don't think I'd call a GIRL eight times if she blew me off.
Hey, some people are jerks. Them I stop calling, that's all. I'm sure nine times out of ten they're just as happy.
I don't say it isn't totally rude and obnoxious of him, but seriously? I don't think I'd call a GIRL eight times if she blew me off.
Hey, some people are jerks. Them I stop calling, that's all. I'm sure nine times out of ten they're just as happy.
The Thayan Menace
First Post
Whizbang Dustyboots
Gnometown Hero
You gotta watch "Swingers" sometime, if you haven't.barsoomcore said:
The Thayan Menace
First Post
Sophia Speaks
-Samir
Damn marriages ... always getting in the way of those important gaming commitments.Felon said:
-Samir
Seems to me you have this exactly backwards. I wouldn't call a girl more than a couple of times in that situation either, but mostly because I know nothing good will come of it if you do. (I can't deny I'd be tempted, and ten or twelve years ago I might have.) But this seems to be a situation where multiple calls are a little more reasonable. For one thing, while both are reasonable times to be upset, in the date case, doing this will get you, the victim, painted as the bad guy.barsoomcore said:
barsoomcore
Unattainable Ideal
I consider it unreasonable in both cases for exactly the same reason: I can't be bothered. I like hanging out with people who like to hang out with me.
Which explains why I'm sitting at home alone just now, but never mind that.
If you want to hang out with me, you return my FIRST call. Heck, you call me when something falls off. If you don't, then I understand that to me you don't want to hang out with me, which is fine. Call me when you do and we'll see about that.
Which explains why I'm sitting at home alone just now, but never mind that.
If you want to hang out with me, you return my FIRST call. Heck, you call me when something falls off. If you don't, then I understand that to me you don't want to hang out with me, which is fine. Call me when you do and we'll see about that.
Cedric
First Post
I'll keep this brief, my wrist hurts.
Technology isn't part of the solution (someone mentioned the ease of contacting someone in the cell phone era), it's part of the problem.
When I was a kid...no answering machines, no caller ID, no cell phones...you just answered your phone, period.
Then came answering machines, and we started letting the machine get it. That was bad enough, but then came cell phones with voicemail, then caller ID. Now people don't answer the phone sometimes when it's someone they WANT to talk too. They call the person back five minutes later on their terms with a lame excuse like, I had my hands full. (ever catch yourself doing this?).
So what does this have to do with the subject?
We've grown into a culture where it's become quietly accepted in people's minds to just ignore communication we don't want to respond too.
Something comes up, have to back out of the game? Have to quit your job? Have to break up with someone?
So many just can't take the responsibility of doing it the "right" way anymore. Someone mentioned a fear of conflict, that's part of it. As a society we propogate it though. Breakups via email, laying off employees via text message.
Basically in the end though, some would rather try to act like it never happened than have to deal with the reality of disappointing someone in person. They still know they let someone down, and would be terribly embarrassed if they saw the person they disappointed again. Stammering and hurrying away, or hoping they weren't seen.
But that's the gist of it.
Raise your children right. Teach them that in the dissolution of anything from a casual acquaintance, to a friendship, relationship or job...the other person deserves and has a right to closure. Has a right to the knowledge that your plans have changed.
So much for being brief...my wrist hurts. G'night all.
Cedric
Technology isn't part of the solution (someone mentioned the ease of contacting someone in the cell phone era), it's part of the problem.
When I was a kid...no answering machines, no caller ID, no cell phones...you just answered your phone, period.
Then came answering machines, and we started letting the machine get it. That was bad enough, but then came cell phones with voicemail, then caller ID. Now people don't answer the phone sometimes when it's someone they WANT to talk too. They call the person back five minutes later on their terms with a lame excuse like, I had my hands full. (ever catch yourself doing this?).
So what does this have to do with the subject?
We've grown into a culture where it's become quietly accepted in people's minds to just ignore communication we don't want to respond too.
Something comes up, have to back out of the game? Have to quit your job? Have to break up with someone?
So many just can't take the responsibility of doing it the "right" way anymore. Someone mentioned a fear of conflict, that's part of it. As a society we propogate it though. Breakups via email, laying off employees via text message.
Basically in the end though, some would rather try to act like it never happened than have to deal with the reality of disappointing someone in person. They still know they let someone down, and would be terribly embarrassed if they saw the person they disappointed again. Stammering and hurrying away, or hoping they weren't seen.
But that's the gist of it.
Raise your children right. Teach them that in the dissolution of anything from a casual acquaintance, to a friendship, relationship or job...the other person deserves and has a right to closure. Has a right to the knowledge that your plans have changed.
So much for being brief...my wrist hurts. G'night all.
Cedric
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