Can anyone explain the logic behind the silent treatment?

[Felon]

If it were me, I wouldn't return your calls either. Eight calls in a day about a D&D game: the DM's a stalker.

Wow, we actually got almost 30 posts in before we got a "blame the victim for the crime" response. Pretty impressive.

How do you even figure that makes sense? You gave the DM the impression that you were whole-heartedly committed to coming, you knew he was making special preparations for your character's arrival, you knew your absence would be a major inconvenience, and yet you don't make any attempt to communicate your cancellation. Zero hour draws closer and the DM makes repeated attempts to reach you. Your conclusion? He's the a-hole for making more than two attempts.

 

[Felon]

Why expend energy on a total stranger, especially one you don't like?

A desire for a sense of closure? Curiosity about exactly what catalyst drove the person from enthusiastic to uninterested? Nagging thoughts that it was something you might have said or done inadvertantly?

 

[Ciaran]

A desire for a sense of closure? Curiosity about exactly what catalyst drove the person from enthusiastic to uninterested? Nagging thoughts that it was something you might have said or done inadvertantly?

... and most of all, a desire to have this happen again in the future with someone else. Right?

 

[The Thayan Menace]

Neurotic Gaming = Pointless Drama

A desire for a sense of closure?

I suppose you could gatecrash the offender's workplace and cap him in front of his co-workers ... or you could simply move on with your life.

-Samir

 

[The Thayan Menace]

Dust in the Wind ....

Felon:

Sarcasm aside, you have every right to be upset.

However, what is the point of remaining angry?

-Samir

 

[Felon]

... and most of all, a desire to have this happen again in the future with someone else. Right?

Curious conclusion. I think I have explained that the situation is far from desirable. Please elaborate.

 

[Felon]

Felon:
Sarcasm aside, you have every right to be upset.
However, what is the point of remaining angry?

I'm not sure that feelings--particularly anger--are meant to have a point. I don't think we have any Vulcans in this forum, so I'm going with the assumption that everyone here has at some point in time felt outrage, and weren't able to sublimate it instantly by telling themselves "oh well, no point in getting angry, I'll just get on with my life". I think if you dig deep enough you find a memory or two you still harbor some strong emotions over.

Anyway, it's more morbid curiosity than anything else. What makes people have an emotional spin of 180 degrees? What makes a person avoid closure? Did something happen behind the scenes? And most of all, was there some way I could have honed my instincts so as to know from a mile away that I was dealing with an unreliable flake?

 

[The Thayan Menace]

Arise my Apprentice ....

I think if you dig deep enough you find a memory or two you still harbor some strong emotions over.

You're right, my friend ... I too am very Dark Side. However, stress is a killer.

Anyway, it's more morbid curiosity than anything else.

Okay, at least you admit it. I honor your zeal for discernment.

And most of all, was there some way I could have honed my instincts so as to know from a mile away that I was dealing with an unreliable flake?

Probably not, and that's the bummer about trusting your fellow humans. They often disappoint you.

Darth Asad is Sithcore!

​

 

[WayneLigon]

Really -- it's just a game.

felon, I think that line right there is probably at the root of your problem and situation. You have someone that appeared to be interested in your campaign and made plans to be there. However, in his mind, he hasn't made a 'real' commitment; you're just some stranger, and if some friend he has calls up and says 'Bob, let's go for a beer', he'll hie off without even thinking that not returning your call is unusual.

To him, it's 'just a game', no more important than you might consider something trivial. He enjoys it, perhaps a great deal, but he's not going to let the fact that he made a commitment get in the way of something else he obviously considers more important. Never mind that other people treat it as they should: like any other social commitment, and if something else comes up that doesn't involve life and limb, they say 'I'm sorry, but I've made previous plans'.

Still no excuse for no call-ahead, but then... to him, you're just not worth those few seconds.

Or, he's laying upside down in a ravine somewhere, getting chewed on by raccoons.

 

[The Thayan Menace]

ROTFLMAOTseTung!

Or, he's laying upside down in a ravine somewhere, getting chewed on by raccoons.

Felon, if you can't take solace in this ... then your heart has truly turned to stone.

-Samir