Funny from 3rdedition.org, but true....
Tenser's Floating Munchkins
12/13/2001
Good and Wise Seer:
Subject: Tenser's Floating Disk
Question: The spell description says nothing about prohibiting the caster from standing on the disk himself, right? Therefore, a mage could use the Disk as a personal transportation device that would allow him to stand or sit on the disk travelling 3 ft above the surface and the mages normal speed. This means that said mage could travel across any type of terrain and normal speed....ie water, caltrop cover ground, etc. This seems an amazing use for the spell that I have not seen used in my group, a use that could avoid a lot of tactics to slow down a traveling party.
Have I missed a prohibition in the spell that would not allow this. Noting that the caster would have to be of sufficent level to lift his weight (100lbs/caster level). Thank You Good Sir
I recognize that you have humbly asked my verdict on this subject, but that does not mitigate the fact that you have considered allowing your players to push a 1st level spell beyond its limits. Therefore, you will humbly accept 40 lashes less 1 from the harsh whip of my disregard for abusive players and their co-dependent Dungeon Masters. Assume the position.
First, you will note from the description of the spell provides only one mode of movement for the disk: *following* the caster. The caster cannot push, pull, lift, depress, throw, row, drive, command, launch, sail, ski, or glide the disk. It follows. Your only option with this spell is determining how *closely* the disk follows you, thus the potentially confusing language: "If not otherwise directed, [the disk] maintains a constant interval of 5 feet". Yes, could perch upon the bowl of magical force, but you cannot move without stepping off. The rules do not even imply that Sorcerer Swami can use the disk as a slow, low-level form of floating. Pardon my French, but only a MUNCHKIN would attempt to bend the meaning of the rules text in this way.
So, my misintentioned supplicant, you should not allow this use of TFD in your game. I suppose there are uses for a static hovering platform, but they are fewer than you suspected. Heed my words, lest you suffer a multiplication of crunchy silver surfers in your campaign world. God and Agimimnon forbid!
-Agimimnon the Great, Shuddering from Implications P.S.: Just a blooding for you today. I suppose I've been in a good mood ever since my promotion. P.P.S.: The higher-ups passed down word that there is indeed a such thing as a post-postscript, and that I am allowed and expected to use them. When the higher-ups pass down word, it's usually not a good idea to disobey. How do you think I wound up having to do *this* job in the first place? In any case, I think they did it just to humiliate me further. Those of you combing aged articles from the 20th century in search of supposed errors can shut up now.
