"Wow, really? Baby girl? Okay, so first we'll need some educational materials on SEXUAL HARASSMENT in the WORKPLACE," Death Otter said firmly, tapping the table with her index finger. "So that we can BURN them and roast marshmallows over them."
"Now. The important stuff."
She pushed over a sheet of paper she'd been scribbling on frantically all the while. It was covered with indecipherable chicken scratch letters, and little doodles of helicopters shooting townhouses and frogs jumping across some kind of street atop people's heads, and other strange things.
"As you can see, our needs are modest. We'll need three computers. One is for you guys, and it can be as crappy or as awesome as you feel your chimp-brains can handle. Doesn't really matter to me. The other will be our crypto-cruncher, and it must be amazing. Multicore CPU, with some math coprocessors, a few SSDs we can hook up, and then a bunch of static HD storage. TEEBEES of it."
"And then my laptop. Oh, and I need a tablet too, but that's not really a computer so it doesn't count THREE IS STILL THE NUMBER. The laptop will be what I actually use to do hacks, so it needs to be pretty good but more than anything it needs awesome connectivity. Oh, and we need a T1 here. Direct pipeline. Cable and DSL is for PLEEBS."
She paused for a moment and looked thoughtful. "Satellite on a van would be good though. Very good. Not the best bandwidth, but we could...hmm... Yeah. Satellite in a van. We're getting a van, right? One of those too."
"So that's the ORDINARY stuff. We could also use a HERF gun, a SQUID, and I want to book at least thirty minutes on ECHELON. Also, the truth behind UFOs."
Death Otter frowned at her notes for a moment, then nodded.
"...and that should about do it for now."