CERAMIC D.M. Final Judgements In- New Champion!

alsih2o

First Post
Sniktch said:
Woo! He made it! Clay, sportsmanlike patience from me. He's close enough to the deadline and I didn't want to win by default, anyway. No matter how it turns out, I'd rather leave this in the hands of our esteemed judges. :)

good man sniktch, hours is one thing, a few minutes leaves me feeling lenient (aome dictator i would be :))

and can i just say, GREAT stilt usage by both of you, i thought that pic would eb a stumper :)

well played gentlemen, it is now up to the judges :)
 

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NiTessine

Explorer
Sniktch said:
Woo! He made it! Clay, sportsmanlike patience from me. He's close enough to the deadline and I didn't want to win by default, anyway. No matter how it turns out, I'd rather leave this in the hands of our esteemed judges. :)

Thank you...

You know, I lost to mirthcard the first time after letting him continue even though he was a few hours late... :D
 

Sniktch

First Post
I remember that, but for me its all about the writing practice and not the competition really. And if I get to the finals I want it to be because I was judged worthy, not because of a no show or technicality. Good Luck, NiT :)
 

Nail

First Post
Sniktch said:
I remember that, but for me its all about the writing practice and not the competition really. And if I get to the finals I want it to be because I was judged worthy, not because of a no show or technicality. Good Luck, NiT :)
I call for a disqualification, on the grounds of "Sportsmen-like Conduct"!

None of this "fair" stuff 'round here, bub!

:p
 


Nail

First Post
Sniktch said:
Oh yeah? Get in here and write against me face to face, bub, and we'll see what you're made of :p
Sounds like a deal to me.

An' if yer story was in late, even by a minute, I'll ask to have yer %$^#%& disqualified.....

After all, how else would I be able t' win? Can't even seem t' find th' vowel keys sometimes......
 
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Sniktch

First Post
Well, then I'll just have to make sure I'm not late ;)

(Wow, first time I ever got abused for being friendly and nice :p Well... maybe not :D)
 
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barendd nobeard vs speaker


She glanced up, casually, and scanned the room. Nothing was out of place, but something seemed wrong. She scanned the room again and for some reason, her eyes were drawn to the smoke. It wasn't just floating to the ceiling, like smoke normally does. It was....staying in place. (photo 4) No, it was moving, but moving very slowly. Like the solar system billions of years before, it seemed to be random bits just slowly coalescing. She hoped that whatever it was would take form more quickly than the planet beneath her feet. She returned to her work, making a mental note to check the smoke periodically. She did not share her observation before he left to search the temple. Looking back later, she realized that was probably a mistake.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He kept running to the temple. "Where to search? Where to search?" his mind asked himself over and over. The temple was large, and it could be anywhere. "The precious flower....the precious flower," he kept repeating internally, as if trying to summon the object by force of will. He ran up the steps, to the main door of the temple, and stopped to catch his breath. With one final deep breath, he opened the door and peered inside. The temple was brightly lit by the afternoon sun--shadows were short as it was just past noon, and the golden status was dazzling. He could not stand to look in its direction, and his hand instinctively went up to shield his eyes. He turned away from the dazzling reflection, then started toward the side of the temple. It hit him immediately, almost as if she was sending him a telepathic message. Or maybe he was just recalling some bad movie. "Walk into the light," he muttered, amazed that he had some sense of what to do. Certainly the precious flower will be hidden in the temple. And what better place to hide it than the spot which almost forced you to turn away--the last place you would search under normal conditions. Yet, the current extraordinary conditions had somehow tipped off his brain. He approached the statue, he eyes adjusting to the glare. As he approached, he saw a few others there, going about their own prayers. He brought his hands together, as if praying. There, on the middle toe, right next to a child. (photo 1) Some sort of beaded flower--an offering. There weren't many people around, but enough to make taking the flower risky. There was no time for subtlety; he snatched the flower and ran, ignoring the stares and cries of the temple visitors. The small child laughed as he ran away, and the adults halfheartedly ordered him to stop. They didn't seem overly concerned. After all, the thief had taken a small token, but ignored the baskets fill with gold coins that comprised the toes of the statue.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The smoke was taking form, and she was alone. She wished she had told him before he left to search the temple, but it was too late now. It was condensing, but not into any recognizable shape. She walked over to the smoke, and peered intensely at it. Thinking about it later, that was probably another mistake. She began to feel light-headed and light-footed. She was floating for a few seconds before she even realized it. She tried to cry out, but no sounds emerged. Soon, she was horizontal, and eventually vertical once again, but upside down with her feet at the ceiling. And her head right above the smoke.

He opened the door. "I got it!" he shouted in triumph. "I found it right--" he stopped, as he watched her floating above the strange cloud. Before he could react further, she disappeared. She just headed into the smoke and vanished. But that wasn't the strangest part. What really bothered him was the sound. As she disappeared, he clearly heard the sound of a splash. A large splash. And then she was gone.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She plunged into the smoke, which was suddenly wet (photo 2), and headed straight down. She could not seem to reverse her direction. Thinking back to the events of the last hour, she couldn't help but think, "Not telling him about the smoke was probably a mistake. Ditto, examining the smoke by myself."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He ran to the smoke, screaming, but stopped abruptly when he was no longer in the room. He was outdoors, the smoke obviously some sort of teleportation device. "What now?" he wondered. "What now, indeed," a gravelly voice answered. The man whirled around. The smoke was gone, but the sight of two figures he had seen before (though in separate places) unnerved him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Back at the temple, authorities questioned the patrons. They questioned the man who had placed the flower there. It was a personal totem, offered freely, and of little monetary value. Almost an hour had passed before the parents realized their child was missing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The elemental Lich laughed. "Air," it said, remembering the smoke, "water," it continued, thinking of the woman, "and now, earth," it finished, gesturing to the land around them. Indeed, the very ground seemed to have taken hold of the man's feet; he was stuck fast. "All that is left is fire, my friend," it said, smirking. It still held the child with one arm. "Be still, my precious flower," it said to the child. A few strange words were uttered, and the child went limp. It dropped the body on the ground.

"Damn!" thought the man, "I never was good at riddles."

"No, you weren't," it said, reading his mind, "that's why I chose you to help me." It began to gesture. Strange words issued forth from its mouth, and the man was suddenly very afraid.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The woman continued down, drinking more water every few seconds. In a short amount of time, her lungs were filled with water and she could no longer breathe. At the same time, the man's lungs filled with fire, as the meteor swarm decimated his mortal frame.

The lich crossed its arms, satisfied with its handiwork (photo 3) "It's all in the timing," it chuckled to itself, "I really should have minored in Chronomancy." It picked up the child. "Now, to plant this precious flower, so it can bloom at the appointed time." It sauntered off, whistling a jaunty tune; the lack of lips apparently no impediment to its musical endeavors.
 

arwink

Clockwork Golem
Just the normal warning that it'll take longer than twenty-four hours to judge. Wednesdays and Thursdays are the hectic days at work, so I won't get a chance to look things over until friday night or saturday at the earliest

Hmm. I wonder if I can make these posts automatic somehow :D
 

Mirth

Explorer
NiTessine said:


Thank you...

You know, I lost to mirthcard the first time after letting him continue even though he was a few hours late... :D

Actually, that time I was only a few minutes late. It's on page 4 of the link to the first competition in my sig, I think. Not that it really matters ;) Thanks anyway for letting me slide then - and now karma has come back to save you, see?

Good luck everybody!
 

alsih2o

First Post
looks like we have a roundup, some time this week i plan on starting to catalog the pics in a ceramic d.m. folder in the art gallery, i will also be including some pics that haven't been used, but maybe useful :)
 






arwink

Clockwork Golem
Yep, sorry. The words "Chaotic" and "Mind-bending exhaustion" and "Oh my god, I almost forgot I was gaming yesterday which threw my schedual off completely" are very apt to any excuses I may offer. The return to teaching took a lot more out of me than I thought after three months off.

I appologise to everyone that I'm not going to be able to get this done today either. Some friends are taking me out for my Birthday soon, but I have the ever faithful six hour gap between classes at Uni again tomorrow, so I guarentee results will have started filtering in to Clay by this time tomorrow. I could send results now (because I know which stories I'll pick) but it'll take me a while to get together the commentary.

Again, very very sorry.
 


alsih2o

First Post
sniktch vs. nitessine, judgement-

alsih2o
nitessine- odd, and groovy story. it is a round of big weirdness. i really like the way the statue pic was handled, and both competitors really made me proud of them in their use of the stilts pic. while these stand out as the strongest point for illustration handling, i found the story to be 2 parts i enjoyed, hinged together a bit loosely.
sniktch- putting the child so near the center of the story was a gutsy move.i found the homonculus treatment of the statue pic to not be the strongest, but of the stilt pic strength in both of them, i find sniktches to be the stronger.
i have to give sniktch my vote by a slim margin.

maldur
Sniktch vs NiTessine
Sniktch
Another episode in the action hero satyr's story:) Go Khorr!!
NiTessine
Introspective (hope I spelled that right), very athmospheric.
Round goes to NiTessine for a more onorthodox story, may he rest in peace.



arwink
Sniktch
After the rollicking combat of his first instalment, it was nice to have this
well paced piece that offers a bit more background to the adventures of
Sniktch's hero. There are some nice mythical overtones here that could perhaps
be brought further into the fore - retelling Khorr's tale as though it were a
folk legend could lend it a nice touch and bring in a resonance with the
traditionally folksy focus of most tales revolving around fey have in modern
renditions. Although I was impressed with the use of the stilts, I'm not
entirely sure it fit in with the rest of the story - it's the only picture
element that felt truly "tacked on" and out of place. The exposition here is
perhaps a little over-done, at times relying on telling us background a little
more than showing us. Particularly in the scene were Grundy is sent to train
the fiend-child, where the lingering implications of "I am here to teach you"
are immediately dashed by explaining what exactly the golem does. Leaving it
hanging could well lend a greater impact the atrocities that occur at the
village later.

NiTessine
NiTessine paints an interesting picture of a man who has lived an interesting
life, but there's no real sense of narrative present. Although interesting and
well told, the story doesn't ever really go anywhere or do anything. I was
waiting for some sign of internal conflict that needed to be resolved before
death, even something as simple as lingering guilt or doubt about his
reactions, but Vinnezen is - in his current state - dull. While the elements
of his past show signs of a good story, in the stories present he doesn't want
or need anything, and as such he doesn't leap off the page or grab the reader.
Great picture use, good voice and well told, but in need of something more.

NiTessine and Sniktch have both presented good pieces, but in the end its that
lack of forward momentum that gives Sniktch's the edge. Although my instant
reaction to NiTessine is to steal all the cool cultural elements for a future
game, it doesn't really do anything for me as a story. This round goes to
Sniktch


looks like sniktch snuck this one by.
 

alsih2o

First Post
barrend nobeard vs speaker, judgement.

alsih2o
barrend nobeard- "i really should have monored on chronomancy" what a line. focus on the details of the statue pic, this story is a bit hard to keep up wiht, and worth all the effort it takes. gotta love someone who takes a literary chance to let the bad guy win. (whistling with no lips...oh, man.)
speaker- takes us on a dreamlike ride. both of these stories had that odd layer of unreality around them. i liked the handling of the imagery, but not as much as barrends.
both writers get odd on us, adn both of them make it work, but i liked the stronger sense of conflict in barrends. i have to give this round to barrend nobeard
maldur
Speaker
Dilemmas with "paladin" like hero and evil lich. Good story, the image of a
slowly sinking hero is very strong.
Barendd Nobeard
Im a bit confused. What actually happened? Sorry but I could not make heads
or tails of that story.
Round goes to Speaker!



arwink

Barendd Nobeard
I had two gut reactions to Barendd's piece - the first is that it's terribly
cool idea that's only really being half-explained, and the second is that the
few minor DnD references (Lichs and meteor swarms) really detract from the
general tone. There's something very interesting going on here, but it's only
really a fragment of a story. A very cool story, to be sure, but I understand
only a little more than I did at the beginning. While I'm all for leaving some
things unexplained, there's no real pay-off for the reader here - this is
almost the introduction to a longer tale, or the ending of one. That being
said, the voice is interesting. The choice of short, punchy sentences that
demonstrate the urgency of the desperate male searcher works well, although
some tidying is needed in parts. All in all, it's great stuff but I wanted to
see more.

Speaker
Speaker lends a slightly philosophical tone to his piece, and touches on the
same mood and style as Barendd does. The basic idea is very cool, and the
style of the piece comes together very well. It's well paced, moving through
the various elements with a reasoned focus, and the questions raised at the
beginning are slowly fleshed out as the story progresses. The actual story
itself touches on some fairly common fantasy fiction themes, but there is a
faint spark of innovation within that gives it some new life.

Choosing between the two is difficult. While Barendd's chaotic whirl of a
story holds great potential, it ultimately doesn't stand up to the reasoned,
well-told rendition that Speaker gives us. It's a tough call to choose, but
ultimately the round goes to Speaker. His story feels more complete and solid
as a reader.

speaker wins by the skin of his teeth.
 

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