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CERAMIC D.M. (not the current one, a year old)

alsih2o

First Post
arwink vs speaker

pic 2 of 5
 

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Sniktch

First Post
Just checking in, and... argh! So close - I'll get you yet, Speaker! :D My thanks also to mirthcard for his detailed critiques - that's exactly the type of thing I like to see. My exposition, or thought process:

Like I said, the images together just screamed cold and ice at me, but unifying them was rather difficult. In the end, I just let the stream of my consciousness take over and that's what you see here, the ramblings of my fevered brain late at night.

I know I was vague and obtuse in many places, but I think part of that flows from the state of the narrator and protagonist - at the beginning he is dying and dreaming, the confused remembrances of a spirit that refuses to leave the mortal coil. At the end he is undead and his brain is working in an entirely different fashion than a living man's would. Svetlana and the masked woman at the end are the same person, although I admit this is not clear at all. The 'vague shapes and lights' signify some sort of fiendish entity attacking the pair and possessing her, so to speak. When the protagonist awakes he is a revenant - the details of what happened are not entirely clear to him, but his task is...

In the end, it appears I was too vague for my own good, which was my fear when submitting the piece. I had fun writing it, though, and fun reading everyone else's work and receiving valuable criticisms. Congratulations to Speaker on another excellent job, congrats to the other winners for their fine work, and good luck to all of you in round 2. I can't wait to see how this contest plays out, and I have to admit I especially have my eye turned towards the arwink - speaker match this round...
 

alsih2o

First Post
you did well sniktch, and you wrote an interesting story, you just happened to come up aainst the wrong writer at the wrong time :)

while i am on this, big thanks to all the contestants, you guys make this sooo much fun.

i hope to see all of you working here agaian and woking outside of here :)
 
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alsih2o

First Post
mark is always so noce to drop in and wish everyone who is participating well.


everyone that is except the judges and picture pickers, who he just ignores like we are some kind of malignent hired help not worthy of being looked upon!!!!
 

Mirth

First Post
alsih2o said:
mark is always so nice to drop in and wish everyone who is participating well.


everyone that is except the judges and picture pickers, who he just ignores like we are some kind of malignant hired help not worthy of being looked upon!!!!

Word.
 

Mirth

First Post
Sniktch said:
My thanks also to mirthcard for his detailed critiques - that's exactly the type of thing I like to see.

Me too. I hope it was worth waiting for, even if you didn't win.

That brings me to another point - if any contestant wants to talk to me further about their entry, feel free to post it here or send me an email. If you don't agree at all with my decision, please post that too. I can only become a better judge with feedback.

Sniktch said:
My exposition, or thought process:

Like I said, the images together just screamed cold and ice at me, but unifying them was rather difficult. In the end, I just let the stream of my consciousness take over and that's what you see here, the ramblings of my fevered brain late at night.

I know I was vague and obtuse in many places, but I think part of that flows from the state of the narrator and protagonist - at the beginning he is dying and dreaming, the confused remembrances of a spirit that refuses to leave the mortal coil. At the end he is undead and his brain is working in an entirely different fashion than a living man's would. Svetlana and the masked woman at the end are the same person, although I admit this is not clear at all. The 'vague shapes and lights' signify some sort of fiendish entity attacking the pair and possessing her, so to speak. When the protagonist awakes he is a revenant - the details of what happened are not entirely clear to him, but his task is...

In the end, it appears I was too vague for my own good, which was my fear when submitting the piece. I had fun writing it, though, and fun reading everyone else's work and receiving valuable criticisms.

Ahh, now I see. I knew you were striving for something, but I just couldn't quite grasp it. Perhaps if I had been undead myself, I would have .... :p If I'm judging next time, be sure to write THE TRUTH on a big paddle and spank me with it.
 

Sniktch

First Post
Hey, no worries. If I lose the judges, that's my fault, not theirs ;) And yes, the critiques were worth waiting for. Since I plan on joining the next time around, I will prepare a big paddle in case you are a judge :D
 

Mark

CreativeMountainGames.com
alsih2o said:
mark is always so noce to drop in and wish everyone who is participating well.


everyone that is except the judges and picture pickers, who he just ignores like we are some kind of malignent hired help not worthy of being looked upon!!!!

You got the love, Judges (exept for alsih)! :D

Damned Picture-Pickin' Potter... :p
 


mystraschosen

First Post
Hi,just checking in. Alsih thanks for your critique,no it was not harsh,and why enter a contest such as this if you are not prepared for your story to be judged?:) I will take all constructive criticisim and try to put it to use so that I can come back and submit an even better story next time. It is gratifying to know that the "hoof" command was funny to others as well as me.I couldn't stop laughing when I thought of that one. :D

I would not have a problem writing it up as an adventure,if you so desire alsih. Just give me a little bit o time and it shall be yours.

Thanks to all the judges for taking the time to read my entry,and thanks to all the contestants who provided great stories for my idle amusement at late hours of the night! I will now buy sniktch a consolatory beer,so that we may comiserate with each other in drunken lethargy:D

By the way sweet pics for round 2 ,I can hardly wait to read the stories.
 
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alsih2o

First Post
mystraschosen said:

I would not have a problem writing it up as an adventure,if you so desire alsih. Just give me a little bit o time and it shall be yours.


sniktch is thinking of starting a thread for rewrites and second attempts :)
 

Sniktch

First Post
Hey, MC - I've decided I'm gonna keep writing on this competition despite being knocked out - keep my creative momentum going, you know what I mean? Want to join me?

I see Clay beat me to this note now...
 

mystraschosen

First Post
Sure,sounds good.You tell me what we'll do and I will write something up.I also have 3 days in a row free starting tomorrow till saturday,so I can really put some effort into it.
 

Sniktch

First Post
I was going to take the pics from Arwink-Speaker and right my own entry as if I had advanced, but maybe we can talk Clay into giving us 5 fresh pics for our own mini-match. What do ya say, Potter?
 

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