Ceramic DM feedback thread[JUDGES, OUT!]

[Rodrigo Istalindir]

Thanks, RangerWickett.

Like every other Ceramic DM story, this one was the victim of time, or more accurately, me trying to fit a long-story idea into a short-story timeframe. It was origininally plotted such that the reader would be led to believe that Hal was actually going insane from the isolation. The 'imagined' alert was part of this -- hallucinations, inability to sleep, etc. If I'd pulled it off right, it would have created some doubt in the reader's mind as to whether Dave was really the AI or just Hal hallucinating.

The end would have been somewhat the same, but with references back to how the AIs were tuned to the individual. A flaw in the programming created a feedback loop between Hal and Dave that results in Hal's suicide and Dave's psychopathic break.

Oh well. Another story to throw back on the pile to try and re-write someday. At least there was some science crunch I can use again -- I like the idea of the Aegis stations.

 

[MarauderX]

Judgments will be posted tomorrow evening (when I can get at the correct computer).

I thought this meant Friday evening, and the anticipation has been carving slowly away at my sanity. Must learn patience... it puts the lotion in the basket...

 

[RangerWickett]

Yeah, so I just read Pkitty's story. I'm almost ashamed that it wasn't until you used the word 'toves' that I started to wonder about the Lewis Carroll reference.

It was a fun read. I'll have to read it again to give it a proper critique.

 

[Macbeth]

Orchid Blossom: Untitled

(I'll try and stay neutral, and not let my competitive insticnt color my commentary)

I liked it. Your prose flowed wonderfully, and the characters came to life. The only problem is, they didn't grow. It all seemed a little to short, it seemed like you could have written more. plot devlopement was a bit rushed, and the characters never really seemed to develop.

But I'm sounding too negative. I really did like it, but I just ended up wanting more. It all seemed to go by too fast. On the upside, your world had me, but then again, I still wanted more of it.

I don't want to get into picture use, becuase I only seem to see my use in each picture. It's hard commenting on your uses when I spent a fair amount of time coming up with my own.

Overall, it was a great story, or more acurately, a great begining. All I can say is MORE.

 

[Ao the Overkitty]

And once again Macbeth redefines "Dementedly Weird but Good."

 

[Macbeth]

And once again Macbeth redefines "Dementedly Weird but Good."

That's going in my sig as soon as the judgement (which I predict will be close) is posted.

 

[alsih2o]

Dude, were you photocopying a mirror in MetaMart when you came up with that?

Man, no idea how to react.

Glad I'm not judging this time.

Some real goodness going around this time. Makes me jealous.

 

[Macbeth]

Dude, were you photocopying a mirror in MetaMart when you came up with that?

I have no idea what you mean by that, but dang, does it sound cool. My sig is definately getting a facelift after the judgement goes up.

 

[alsih2o]

I have no idea what you mean by that, but dang, does it sound cool. My sig is definately getting a facelift after the judgement goes up.

It means my reality and your fiction just did a "Hey, you got chocolate in my peanut butter!"

It ain't bad, that is for sure.

 

[Macbeth]

It means my reality and your fiction just did a "Hey, you got chocolate in my peanut butter!"

It ain't bad, that is for sure.

Good enough for me. Thanks.