Maidhc O Casain
Na Bith Mo Riocht Tá!
Finally got enough DMC for a third character! Submitting Kryeprift Himbal for approval.
Character Submission Thread
- Thread starter perrinmiller
- Start date
Aura
Explorer
Reviewing Kyreprift Himbal
All my usual disclaimers apply. I'm somewhat loathe to edit a character sheet directly. Any of my comments or critiques may, themselves, be incorrect. I'll try to do my best. etc.
Stuff That Needs To Be Changed:
* While still carrying his sack, I get the following changes: Flatfooted AC = 10, CMD = 12, may not use flurry of blows, may not use fast movement.
Stuff That Could Be Changed:
* Precise Shot applies to any ranged weapon, not just bows. Just in case you need to throw a dagger.
Notation Issues and Typos:
* The trait 'Rich Parents' is listed as Social in the APG. 'Background' or 'See Background' sounds more like a note to indicate the re-skinning of the trait. Alternatively, something like 'Extensive Savings From Job' or some sort could be used.
* Seems to be a typo on the CMD line, WIS listed as 6 (should be 4) but the total is correct.
* Seems to be a typo on the superscript of the Survival Kit (') that doesn't match the contents when listed out below (1).
* The Survival Skill line could stand to have the +1 Trait Bonus noted and the split value for the masterwork kit listed as +9/+11 or some such.
* Some sort of notation on what blunt arrows do in the Weapon Stats would be nice.
* Items costing less than 1gp could be marked as not tracked (NT) or clarity.
* Weight Chart could be noted as including backpack modifier.
Comments:
* I like Kyreprift in terms of taking a classic archetype (guide) and depicting using a nontraditional class choice. Monk/Zen Archer has a lot of very appropriate abilities.
* Good use of re-skinning going on in this character to fit the story. Non-traditional green eyes (for a dwarf) was a nice thematic touch.
* Under Flurry, is the -2 penalty actually considered a Two Weapon Fighting (TWF) penalty? It's less important to a Zen Archer, who has no melee flurry, but I'm curious.
* Word of the day: Bethought
* The dwarf weight charts are freakishly high, it's hard to imagine them without the assumption dwarves are denser than normal.
* I'm having a hard time imagining being alone fixing madness. Perhaps madness is too strong a word in the first place, and the frustration of 3 years of failure to get revenge just modified his goals. Alternatively, perhaps the madness didn't abate until he had something to live for outside revenge.
* Wow, you have your future planned out.
* I didn't know slow characters took a jump penalty. Makes sense, though.
OK, so only one stamp delaying issue. A very solid submission. NOT QUITE YET
All my usual disclaimers apply. I'm somewhat loathe to edit a character sheet directly. Any of my comments or critiques may, themselves, be incorrect. I'll try to do my best. etc.
Stuff That Needs To Be Changed:
* While still carrying his sack, I get the following changes: Flatfooted AC = 10, CMD = 12, may not use flurry of blows, may not use fast movement.
Stuff That Could Be Changed:
* Precise Shot applies to any ranged weapon, not just bows. Just in case you need to throw a dagger.
Notation Issues and Typos:
* The trait 'Rich Parents' is listed as Social in the APG. 'Background' or 'See Background' sounds more like a note to indicate the re-skinning of the trait. Alternatively, something like 'Extensive Savings From Job' or some sort could be used.
* Seems to be a typo on the CMD line, WIS listed as 6 (should be 4) but the total is correct.
* Seems to be a typo on the superscript of the Survival Kit (') that doesn't match the contents when listed out below (1).
* The Survival Skill line could stand to have the +1 Trait Bonus noted and the split value for the masterwork kit listed as +9/+11 or some such.
* Some sort of notation on what blunt arrows do in the Weapon Stats would be nice.
* Items costing less than 1gp could be marked as not tracked (NT) or clarity.
* Weight Chart could be noted as including backpack modifier.
Comments:
* I like Kyreprift in terms of taking a classic archetype (guide) and depicting using a nontraditional class choice. Monk/Zen Archer has a lot of very appropriate abilities.
* Good use of re-skinning going on in this character to fit the story. Non-traditional green eyes (for a dwarf) was a nice thematic touch.
* Under Flurry, is the -2 penalty actually considered a Two Weapon Fighting (TWF) penalty? It's less important to a Zen Archer, who has no melee flurry, but I'm curious.
* Word of the day: Bethought
* The dwarf weight charts are freakishly high, it's hard to imagine them without the assumption dwarves are denser than normal.
* I'm having a hard time imagining being alone fixing madness. Perhaps madness is too strong a word in the first place, and the frustration of 3 years of failure to get revenge just modified his goals. Alternatively, perhaps the madness didn't abate until he had something to live for outside revenge.
* Wow, you have your future planned out.
* I didn't know slow characters took a jump penalty. Makes sense, though.
OK, so only one stamp delaying issue. A very solid submission. NOT QUITE YET
Maidhc O Casain
Na Bith Mo Riocht Tá!
Thanks for the review, Aura!
Review notes addressed in order:
Thanks for the other comments as well! I was looking for a non-traditional Monk and am quite happy with the way the Zen Archer meshed with the idea of a wilderness guide. His skill and equipment choices are surely not optimized and likely won't see a lot of roll-play, but could be good for some role-play and shouldn't hamper his utility to a party or his survivability too much.
While Kryeprift's not technically TWF that penalty does originate with the TWF feat, and the TWF notation was the shortest way I could figure out to write it and keep the stats from flowing into another line.
We don't picture them that way, but surely some giants are smart enough to "bethink."
Yeah, I always think of Dwarves as extra-dense and a little broader for their height than humans, rather than a LOT broader.
His madness was more maniacal obsession than psychosis type crazy; I probably should've done a better job of describing his return to sanity as a gaining of serenity. That bit was a (feeble) attempt to work his gaining of the Monk class without formal training into his background. Good suggestions - I'll revisit it and see if I can clarify it a little. I wanted to work in an emphasis on his love for coffee as well, so his background is still 'in refinement.'
Actually working on his feat and skill choices for all 20 levels
. I usually fly by the seat of my pants on all that; I'm trying a different approach this time. The level up section seemed like a good place to keep notes, but I'll have to remember to mention in my notification posts for level ups that the reviewer should ignore "everything above level x" in that section. We'll see how it goes.
Again, thanks for the detailed review and suggestions!
Review notes addressed in order:
- Encumbrance effects of carrying his gear sack: Right you are! Notation made for FF AC/CMD (I believe FF actually affects CMD as well; if so it would actually be 10). By the time Kryeprift gets fast movement he'll have done away with the need for his gear sack one way or another, and right now it's a moot point. He only gets Flurry with his Bow, and to use it he has to drop the sack anyway.
- Got the change made to Point Blank Shot to indicate Ranged Attacks, not just Bows.
- CMD Line typo corrected.
- Superscript typo corrected - must've hit the wrong number when typing the alt- code.
- Survival Skill: +1 Trait Bonus noted (forgot it the first time 'round), Modifier with Equipment Bonus specified using parentheses
- Blunt Arrow notation added to 'Special' notes in Weapon Stats
- Notation added to equipment list indicating benefits of Average Lifestyle. Tried adding NT to the cost line of each item but didn't like the way it looked.
- MW Backpack noted in Weight Capacity line
Thanks for the other comments as well! I was looking for a non-traditional Monk and am quite happy with the way the Zen Archer meshed with the idea of a wilderness guide. His skill and equipment choices are surely not optimized and likely won't see a lot of roll-play, but could be good for some role-play and shouldn't hamper his utility to a party or his survivability too much.
While Kryeprift's not technically TWF that penalty does originate with the TWF feat, and the TWF notation was the shortest way I could figure out to write it and keep the stats from flowing into another line.
We don't picture them that way, but surely some giants are smart enough to "bethink."
Yeah, I always think of Dwarves as extra-dense and a little broader for their height than humans, rather than a LOT broader.
His madness was more maniacal obsession than psychosis type crazy; I probably should've done a better job of describing his return to sanity as a gaining of serenity. That bit was a (feeble) attempt to work his gaining of the Monk class without formal training into his background. Good suggestions - I'll revisit it and see if I can clarify it a little. I wanted to work in an emphasis on his love for coffee as well, so his background is still 'in refinement.'
Actually working on his feat and skill choices for all 20 levels
. I usually fly by the seat of my pants on all that; I'm trying a different approach this time. The level up section seemed like a good place to keep notes, but I'll have to remember to mention in my notification posts for level ups that the reviewer should ignore "everything above level x" in that section. We'll see how it goes.Again, thanks for the detailed review and suggestions!
Aura
Explorer
Second Look: Kyreprift Himbal
Yup, looking good, Mowgli. I didn't make the connection with FF changing CMD by denying DEX in the first place, so that is a good call.
Your explanation of the madness issue clarifies the issue, so it's just a matter of communicating that vision.
Glad to be of assistance. The new character approval thread has become the place where i give back a little for the gaming you all are giving me.
STAMP!, Kyreprift gets one non-judge APPROVAL. All the usual stuff that you already know very well applies.
Yup, looking good, Mowgli. I didn't make the connection with FF changing CMD by denying DEX in the first place, so that is a good call.
Your explanation of the madness issue clarifies the issue, so it's just a matter of communicating that vision.
Glad to be of assistance. The new character approval thread has become the place where i give back a little for the gaming you all are giving me.
STAMP!, Kyreprift gets one non-judge APPROVAL. All the usual stuff that you already know very well applies.
perrinmiller
Adventurer
I might get time tomorrow at work to finish going over Kyreprift for the Judge approval. I am finally getting caught up from vacation and could have time.
Maidhc O Casain
Na Bith Mo Riocht Tá!
Awesome! I still haven't gotten him introduced to the DWI, but I think I've got those confusing little bits of his background that Aura and I discussed cleaned up.
perrinmiller
Adventurer
I had trouble with the Wiki loading at work. Kept getting errors on page and the editor would not load to make changes. I only tagged the Level-ups as planned since it could be confusing otherwise. I stamped Kyreprift APPROVED.
Maidhc O Casain
Na Bith Mo Riocht Tá!
Thanks, pm.
airwalkrr
Adventurer
Corbin Elmentis, templar of the people, freedom fighter, and divine warrior of vengeance is done and awaiting approval!
