Character Suicide

[Miyazawa Mizaki]

My character in a d20 Modern Cyber Punk game wants to commit suicide so the authorities cant use them to find a link to the rest of the party, they are already feeling pritty apathetic and exostential since character creation and I think it fits.

My Gm will not let them do this. They dont think its so I can have a new character, I want to keep with this one but it makes sence that they would kill themself in this situation but the GM will not allow it.

How do I make them see the logic in it? Why do they not want it to happen?

 

[Breakdaddy]

It's quite possible that the GM doesn't think that suicide has any place in a heroic fantasy game. I happen to agree. There is nothing heroic about offing yourself to be absolved of responsibility. There has to be another way for your character to get around the problem, and I'm pretty sure your GM already has some ideas about it. Either way, good luck with the game.

 

[Miyazawa Mizaki]

We arn't player heroic fantasy though, our characters are little more than terrorists and if my character is captured alive then our inter organization is compramized. Besides, the events they have gone through would easily lead them to suicide, possabily taking large numbers of goverment people with them, not the origonal plan but it would work.

To this date this character, a 15 year old girls has: Killed 30ish people in fair shot outs, 5 stalking and knifings, 1 get them in bed and kill them, raped by 5 people, shot in the head, blind in one eye, amputated left forarm, walks with permanent limp, and has not eaten more than a candy bar in the last 10 days In Game.

 

[The Lemon Merchant]

Generally I don't believe suicide has a place in heroic fantasy. However, I do believe that martyrdom does, in fact in the first (IMO) d20 game Torg a player could be rewarded for being a martyr. This particular attribute of the game led to many a situation where the rest of the table would be chanting "Martyr, Martyr". Admittedly eating a bullet in the seculsion of your own home in order to protect the rest of the party is a far cry from sacrificing yourself for the better good. If you really believe that this is something that your character would do, I would discuss options with your GM, he may not have a suitable out for you at the moment, but I'm sure you could work something up. Who knows you could come out with something that is far more memorable.

 

[JPL]

We arn't player heroic fantasy though, our characters are little more than terrorists and if my character is captured alive then our inter organization is compramized. Besides, the events they have gone through would easily lead them to suicide, possabily taking large numbers of goverment people with them, not the origonal plan but it would work.

To this date this character, a 15 year old girls has: Killed 30ish people in fair shot outs, 5 stalking and knifings, 1 get them in bed and kill them, raped by 5 people, shot in the head, blind in one eye, amputated left forarm, walks with permanent limp, and has not eaten more than a candy bar in the last 10 days In Game.

Some cultures have considered suicide to be the heroic, honorable option under certain circumstances --- ancient Romans and feudal Japanese, for starters. Cyberpunk often has strong elements of Japanese culture running through it [although for RPG purposes that seems to boil down to idiots with katanas], so there is a case to be made for ritualistic suicide being "in genre."

But...appeals to in-game logic are not likely to sway a GM who would run the campaign you've described in the first place. Perhaps you should all consider whether you really want to spend your time playing a game that deals with such dark themes in such a juvenile manner --- because either he has qualms about the direction this game is going, or he is enjoying seeing your alter ego suffer.

Perhaps it is none of my business, but imagining that you are an underaged girl getting raped and maimed and committing murder over and over does not strike me as a particularly healthy pasttime for a young fellow like yourself. I suppose it's a phase that many gamers go through, though.

 

[Miyazawa Mizaki]

Some cultures have considered suicide to be the heroic, honorable option under certain circumstances --- ancient Romans and feudal Japanese, for starters. Cyberpunk often has strong elements of Japanese culture running through it [although for RPG purposes that seems to boil down to idiots with katanas], so there is a case to be made for ritualistic suicide being "in genre."

But...appeals to in-game logic are not likely to sway a GM who would run the campaign you've described in the first place. Perhaps you should all consider whether you really want to spend your time playing a game that deals with such dark themes in such a juvenile manner --- because either he has qualms about the direction this game is going, or he is enjoying seeing your alter ego suffer.

Perhaps it is none of my business, but imagining that you are an underaged girl getting raped and maimed and committing murder over and over does not strike me as a particularly healthy pasttime for a young fellow like yourself. I suppose it's a phase that many gamers go through, though.

How is it in a juvenile manner? Its not like she discriped them being raped or anything. The DM is a she, if I said he in a pervious post it was a typo. I dont think its anyless healthy than me cutting, which I stopped (I guess I'm using this character to sorta act out my feelings since origonal concept was an idealized version of me).

PS: You mentioned japanese influence, my character is japanese and the game is set in japan in the year 2073, but we have traveled to a few other places.

 

[JPL]

MM, you're a little beyond my field of expertise, so I'm going to sign off.

 

[Miyazawa Mizaki]

Is it possible that your GM is disturbed that you would want to kill this "idealized version of yourself," a character with whom you apparently identify very closely? Particularly if you have advertised to your GM [as you have to us, without prompting] about your history of cutting?

Well I have a lot of problems, I am seeing someone about it but this is easier. My problems arn't physical, they are mental and the situation of my life. If my problems were physical I would feel better and my life would work, I feel better when bad things happen to this character. I think your right about the DM being disturbed by it but its not like they didnt know these things about me.

 

[JPL]

M, you replied as I was editing my previous post, so I figure I owe you a response.

First, you are to be commended for acknowledging your problems and having the courage to confront them.

Second, I hope you have discussed your gaming with your counselor, who is better qualified than me to tell you whether what you are doing in your game is good for you or bad for you.

Third, for whatever it's worth, my thought about suicide is that it can be an attractive concept, especially to those of us who identify with samurai culture or other warrior traditions where it's deemed honorable. The notion that one could leave all worldly suffering behind and actually have that escape be an act of heroism and honor and integrity rather than cowardice and defeat and despair...that's an attractive fantasy. But I think the hero's path is to stay alive, to bear your burdens and carry out your duties. Being willing to die for honor is not nearly as admirable as being willing to stay alive, even when death seems preferable.

 

[Committed Hero]

I've never seen a case where suicide wasn't presented as a "good death" in the sense of taking a lot of people with them. Of course, if any game would have something like this happen, cyberpunk is the one.