Cheesy In-game things that make you want to scream.

[Aaron L]

There's a build for a ninja pirate that rides a dinosaur. I think they might have worked cyborg zombie into the character later...

Pretty much the only way to make ninjas riding dinosaurs better is to throw cyborg zombies into the mix.


I approve.

 

[Kristivas]

hahaha! I found this one on that list to be particularly hilarious.

Well, That About Wraps It Up For God
All major deities, assuming they actually exist and weren't just made up by the Church to delude its followers, are in reality malevolent and will have to be destroyed. The only exception to this rule is the four nature spirits who have preserved the land since time immemorial, but now due to the folly of mankind have lost virtually all of their power and need you to accomplish some ludicrous task to save them.

 

[Corbert]

In a Second edition campaign once, our party was surrounded by trolls and running low on torches. My cleric casts the spell "Tree" turning into a large oak so the other PC's can climb up and escape. Once everyone is in the cleric/tree the DM decides it would be realistic if the trolls pick up the torches we dropped and attempt to use them to burn down the cleric/tree. I was pretty upset over this ruling to say the least.

TROLLS picking up torches? Nevermind fire being one of the tried and true ways to keep a troll dead, these trolls are obviously a cut above the regular

 

[Oryan77]

Cheesy: You've been screwed over by a fellow player's PC & the DM.

Your party just enters town after an adventure and everyone buys a new house together. The first night, the casters magically protect the windows and doors to the room you are sleeping in. Somehow, against all odds, your "teammate" has stolen your best magical gear from right under your nose while he played a solo game with the DM. Not only that, but he has time to place all of your money around the floor in an attempt to throw you off track. You're a Rogue too, and never heard a thing. You simply wake up that morning, your gear is everywhere, money is thrown around rather than stolen, a party member is missing, and coincidently, the only 2 magic items that player knew you had are missing from your gear. That also happens to be that players last day to play D&D as he ships off to basic training that week.

A year later (and an honarable discharge later), that player is gaming with us again in the same campaign. His PC shows up in the group again. After you convince 2 other PC's to help pin him down while he's sleeping and psionically scan his memory for the last time he saw your magical items, you learn he sold them to an NPC. So of course you have to slit his throat for his betrayal But as you speak a witty one-liner to the PC and then tell the DM you cut him open, the DM announces that a mysterious evil mage NPC teleports into the room and warns you that killing this PC will bring his whole evil organization down upon you.

After that, I told the DM that if I'm ever about to die, I better have some good mage NPC teleport in and threaten my captors like that :\

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

Oh don't! Nooo! No no, a thousand times no! Maybe the place shakes every now and then when the PCs are scouring it, and maybe it'll collapse in the near future. The moment after the BBEG is killed just so the PCs can't get any treasure? Booo. Seriously, boo.

It's like going into Archaedes treasure room in Uldaman, looking at all of the gold on the ground, and not being able to touch a single coin.

Actually, there's no treasure involved, really, just an ancient ruin full of things that should not be, a cult worshipping just such a thing and the player characters lined up for human sacrifice.

I may just go with a fire sweeping through all of the cultist-inhabited areas.

 

[Sejs]

I am not--nor have I ever met--a player who objects to this

Pirates occasionally: awesome.

Pirates every single time you set out in a boat: quickly tedious.

 

[Aeric]

What are some of the lamest, cheesiest, annoying, maddening things you've experienced?

Gnomes.

 

[Phlebas]

The Load-Bearing Boss - You've entered a grand hall to confront the BBEG. Around this lair lies the treasure and remains of it's victims. An epic battle ensues and, upon the creature's death, the lair begins to crumble. It's falling apart quickly! No time to get more than 1 or 2 pieces of treasure. Sure you could stay and loot, but then you'd be crushed by tons of rock. For some reason, the weight of the entire dungeon was being held on the back of the BBEG.

I had to run a quick one off adventure before xmas with only half the group (Xmas parties / trips home etc) so i threw in a haunted mansion on the edge of an underwater city (Originally the session was supposed to be a "You arrive in weird city - here are the plot clues for the next bit of the adventure - start leveling up. The story begins again 6 months game time later when your back home....")

so ad-libbing furiously i throw in a Drowned tracking down the servants who survived the accident that killed him. Party arrive in house, defeat minions, and announce plans to sack mansion. Thats not in my plans so I FF to final encounter and 'luckily' for me the half dragon fighter kills the drowned with her breath weapon in front of the crystal sphere holding back the water.

"A large crack appears in the crystal sphere followed by another. Scrambling over the wreckage, stopping only to drag your companions upright you stagger as fast as possible for the front door (which you remember is a water lock). the river starts pouring into...."
"Err ref"
"What!!? I'm creating atmosphere and tension here!"
"I hide behind THAT corner and use my potion of water-breathing. when the surge calms down i'll loot the house"
"Errr, ok then.... err, i'll let you know in an e-mail what you find .... err OK?"

Don't rid the Game of cheese - the last refuge of a stressed DM.......

 

[Snapdragyn]

Eberron-specific:

The Distinctive Changeling

Any changeling NPC who plays an important plot role will have a Very Distinctive Feature, such as a scar or missing eye. This VDF will remain apparent in any form that the changeling takes, thus ridding the NPC of its one interesting & plot-worthy racial feature, the ability to assume another identity.

We've encountered this in two PUBLISHED Eberron adventures now. We no longer even worry if an NPC we meet is actually a changeling in disguise. No scar, amputation, or mutilation? Not a changeling!

 

[WarlockLord]

THE PC DETECTOR!

So my PC is sneaking up on a dragon, right? He was a drow shadowcaster, so he's pretty sneaky. So, suddenly my DM says "You farted. The dragon wakes up and breathes fire. Make a reflex save!"

I was pissed.