Christmas Misery: the losers' thread

[Turanil]

My ex-wife and my daughter have gone on vacation far away, I have no girlfriend, and money is still problematic by this end of December. As my own Xmas gift goes, one week ago I bought two sci-fi DVDs online because of a commercial promotion (2 for 10$), but they don't have been sent to me yet. As for Xmas food I just bought a chocolate tablet (I will eat rice with ketchup too), because real delicacies would be too costly, and anyway I should be on diet (how could I get a girlfriend in being that overweight??). Tonight and tomorrow I should be in front of my computer and probably here online.

For all of those who feel a kinship with me at this time, tell me of your "misery Xmas"... :\

 

[RangerWickett]

I can truly feel for you. When life sucks . . . well it sucks. I have a fair share of problems too, but telling them to friends who are already depressed can't help. I feel blessed that I have friends who I can talk to, even if all of them are out of town for Christmas.

In fact, the only friend who will be in town is my ex-girlfriend, who is visiting her boyfriend's family. Joy of joys. *grin*

Turanil, cheer up. I am officially unable to pay my bills, and though it's something I need to worry about, I've had my fill of being sad about it. The best help I can offer you is to say that you need to find out what it is in your life that you find value in, and to make sure you address that. For me, that's writing fiction.

No one ever gets anything good done when they're depressed. If I have to take a day off every week to write instead of search for a job, I know now that it'll make me feel a hell of a lot better the rest of the week. I hope something similar works for you.

Merry Christmas.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Well, I'll join you.

I'm currently sitting in the cold downstairs room of my parent's house in Atlanta. Did I mention it was cold? Gods I hate cold...I've given up on sleeping for the night. Night? Hell, its 8AM, night was over long ago. Its been a long night of me laying in bed trying to not think. I think I've finally come to the conclusion that coming back to the states in September was a bad idea. I don't belong here. I don't like it here. And no matter how bad things got for me in Britain, I felt good there. I'd go back in a second...except I have no money. I have no nothing. No job. No school. No motivation. I'm too damned young to be doing this to myself. I should be out living and enjoying myself.

And to make it all worse, I can't get the girl who tore me apart out of my head. I won't rehash that long story, but her baby is due any time now. It should bother me, but it doesn't. What does bother me is I can't stop caring about her. I know without a doubt that things were right...but to see one choice rip all that apart still haunts me. I've got no one to talk to anymore. She was it. The only person that really could listen to me. Now she won't even speak to me...and I didn't even do anything. I know time heals wounds, but it really needs to heal faster...or fix things. Or anything at this point. This would have been our first Christmas actually together.

Damn. I babbled more than I meant to...chalk it up to no sleep. Ryan's got the best words. "No one ever gets anything good done when they're depressed". I suggest finding something that can make you happy and doing that. I, on the other hand, will continue to remain a mess so that I have time to run the many PbP games and serve as a benchmark for how you improve.

 

[RangerWickett]

I, on the other hand, will continue to remain a mess so that I have time to run the many PbP games and serve as a benchmark for how you improve.

Um . . . that's the spirit. Um, . . . yeah.

Hey, Ankh, I'm jobless in Atlanta too! Rock on!

Oh, and . . . I know it sounds horrible, but the best therapy my friends provided for me after my break-up was to tell me that my ex was a flaming, flying [female dog]. Of course, I'm back to being friends with her now, two years later (and she posts on these boards *nervous chuckle*), but at the time, it helped that my friends painted her as evil, and me as good. It wasn't accurate, but it felt nice. And it didn't hurt anyone, since I wasn't going to see her much anyway.

Except the next summer we roadtripped to GenCon, and I'm about to get into "Too Much Information" territory here. So I'll stop before my equally sleep-deprived loopy brain spoils someone's holidays with mentions of motel . . . um, nevermind.

Yay, GenCon!

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Oh, and . . . I know it sounds horrible, but the best therapy my friends provided for me after my break-up was to tell me that my ex was a flaming, flying [female dog]. Of course, I'm back to being friends with her now, two years later (and she posts on these boards *nervous chuckle*), but at the time, it helped that my friends painted her as evil, and me as good. It wasn't accurate, but it felt nice. And it didn't hurt anyone, since I wasn't going to see her much anyway.

Tried that. Couldn't convince myself...of course, the long thread I had on ENWorld months ago didn't do that either, so I think I'm stuck. I don't mind that much, really, I think its just the long night and thinking too much. There wasn't really a break up of sorts between us, which has probably made it worse on me. I just need to keep my head together, get into college, then get on with life. Of course, after eight years that isn't easy. Been trying to do the get life together for the last five or so months. It really angers me that I can't even half believe that she was anything more than childish and stupid. Hell, she's paying for her own mistakes right now. But for some stupid reason I know I still care about her. I guess the worst part is that I(and pretty much everyone else) could tell she isn't thinking straight, and was trying to force me away out of guilt. It'd be nice to know she really does want to get rid of me rather than hearing her trying to convince herself of that.

...but, bah. I'm stuck in the States again so it doesn't matter anymore. And I'm not actually jobless in Atlanta. I'm jobless in Gainesville(Florida) and happen to be in Atlanta with parents for the holidays.

 

[Turanil]

Hohum... You guys really suffer much more than I do. For me this 24 december night will be just another normal night without anything special. Then, I can hope and strive to improve my lot in life. At least I will do that err... tomorrow

So, well guys, I won't wish you a happy Christmas (which obviously wouldn't make sense), but I wish you a better life for 2005!!

 

[Ramien Meltides]

Well, I do have a good career to comfort me, but I'm here at home alone (cat-sitting while my roommate visits his parents this Xmas) and SICK.

I've been sick before, but this one is a real doozy. Holy crow, am I sick. Up until last night I was hacking and coughing up "stuff" every ten minutes or so. Mercifully, that ended last night, but now I just can't sleep since my sinuses are so messed up. Life for me right now is a mixture of aches and pains (I think not being able to breathe normally is messing with my musculature or something), extreme sinus issues, and a near-complete inability to sleep. I've gotten maybe 4 hours sleep in the last 24, and the medicine, while helping, isn't making this GO AWAY.

Gah, I hate being sick. So many things I could be doing around the house (unpacking boxes, painting miniatures, writing) - but I don't feel like doing much of anything at all. Blech!

 

[Angcuru]

Well, this would work best as a list:
1 - I have a touch of the flu.
2 - I know I'm getting virtually nothing for christmas this year.
3 - My dad's business has to claim bankruptcy because of clients and business relations who either didn't pay or stole a bunch of money from us.
4 - I am 100% single, with no real close friends.
5 - My gaming PC just crapped out.
6 - I have no game to attend, not even a PbP.
7 - I have NO money.
8 - My grand high b*tch of a grandmother has declared that we must drive her to our house so she can visit for Christmas.
9 - It's really cold.

 

[haiiro]

And to make it all worse, I can't get the girl who tore me apart out of my head. I won't rehash that long story, but her baby is due any time now. It should bother me, but it doesn't. What does bother me is I can't stop caring about her. I know without a doubt that things were right...but to see one choice rip all that apart still haunts me. I've got no one to talk to anymore. She was it. The only person that really could listen to me. Now she won't even speak to me...and I didn't even do anything. I know time heals wounds, but it really needs to heal faster...or fix things. Or anything at this point. This would have been our first Christmas actually together.

I read that long story, and as much pain as it's causing you now I'm still very glad you got out of that situation, AMG -- it was the right thing to do.

 

[Captain Howdy]

It's Chrismas Eve, and my dog needs to be put to sleep.