City Ordinance re: ornamental statuary

[On Puget Sound]

This curious fact is not specifically 4E, it has existed in all editions.

It is well known that gargoyles have the ability to remain so still that they appear to be statues, and the 3.5 rules required a Spot roll to notice that they were in fact not statues. (I note with relief that 4E does not so state). Presumably, hapless people who failed this check would blithely wander too close and get chomped.

Did NO city or town ever think to post the following?

"BY ORDER of his Grace, the Duke of Noggton, no one shall carve or place a statue resembling a gargoyle."

Clearly Humans should have a -2 penalty to INT.

 

[theNater]

You don't understand. Gargoyles are highly territorial pack animals. The best way to keep a flock of gargoyles from taking up residence in your town is to make them think that another, larger flock is already living there. You need to cover your town in gargoyle statues to stay safe.

Gargoyles being a vicious as they are, the statues are probably a good deterrent to other monsters, as well.

 

[Dog Moon]

Except I think that even if the laws said, you may only have statues of flowers, that people would make magical flower statues move and attack people. Then, if they get rid of statues entirely, people will go to lawn animals. If those are outlawed, people will think of SOMETHING to do. If that gets outlawed, then they'll simply find something else until no one will really want to live in that town because they'll have no lawns, no fences, no statues, no ornaments, nothing but blandness everywhere.

 

[On Puget Sound]

I totally want pink flamingo stats. Cuz we already have gnomes.

 

[RabidBob]

I totally want pink flamingo stats. Cuz we already have gnomes.

We need rules for riding pink flamingos; what else would a gnome ride?

 

[Magus Coeruleus]

Topiaries

 

[jasin]

I read the subject as "... ornamental surgery".

 

[TheLordWinter]

Back in one of the April Fools issues of Dragon during the 2nd edition run, there were stats for the topiary golem.

 

[lukelightning]

You'd also think that the law would mandate that all dead bodies are to be cremated, to avoid the perennial problems of necromancers raising armies of undead, and PC necromancers doing the same "for a good reason, honest, I'm gonna use all these zombies to protect an orphanage or something!"

Also, no more burying important people with magical grave goods. We don't want Agatha the Mighty to come back as a mummy lord that wields a +5 thundering warhammer.