D&D 5E (2014) Clarifications by Mike Mearls

[Halivar]

He's in no way trying to tell you how to play.

He's trying to tell OTHER people how to play.

YOU he wants to drive out of the hobby altogether.

Savage Wombat, that hurts. It 10d6 hurts.

 

[Thaumaturge]

He's in no way trying to tell you how to play.

He's trying to tell OTHER people how to play.

YOU he wants to drive out of the hobby altogether.

At a minimum.

Thaumaturge.

 

[darjr]

My Gosh! Do they even PLAY D&D?!?!

 

[BoldItalic]

My Gosh! Do they even PLAY D&D?!?!

D&D isn't for playing. That would be frivolous and childish. It's for arguing about by mature and rational adults who find politics and religion too tame in comparison.

Isn't it?

Have I got it all wrong?

 

[Halivar]

D&D isn't for playing. That would be frivolous and childish. It's for arguing about by mature and rational adults who find politics and religion too tame in comparison.

This is Advanced, BoldItalic. ​ADVANCED!

 

[ExploderWizard]

Barbarians no longer lose their rage abilities for one week after eating a meal using a fork, spoon, or knife.

I have no idea why this would change. Were there too many complaints by players? We thought the rule added some cool drama to RP parts of the game. Does Grog risk getting kicked out of the tavern or lose his abilities for a week? That's drama!!!!!

It is no longer legal in OP to attack bard player characters on sight.

Luckily we can still keep this rule in our home campaigns. Once you get used to having stacks of dead bards around for cover its really hard to give that up.


Druid players are no longer required to bring living animals to the table to represent beast forms they want to transform into.

We finally have a sensible rule that keeps druids from dominating play and of course it gets removed. Surprise-NOT. It really did keep druid players from turning into grizzly bears that often. It only happened ONCE at our table. The bear mauled the cleric's player and the DM ruled that if the player was incapacitated so was his character. Bear form was flat out banned after that.

Paladins no longer receive XP penalties for, and I quote "making with the sexy times."

Oh man, I'm going to have to house rule this. That rule was the only thing preventing the paladin from stripping and screaming " ITS NAKED TIME!" as soon as the party got back to town.

The latest revisions to the spells chapter means that the spells no longer, in fact, work in real life.

Ever so grateful for this one. If the wizard's player cast Otto's Irresistible Dance on me one more time I was going to have to strangle him.

Please change the damage for "A withering critique of an opponent's rapping ability" from 3d12 psychic damage to 2d6 cold damage.

I approve of this change. The attack form always seemed pretty cold to me so it fits better.

Last but not least, you no longer need to "bust out real karate moves" on anyone at the table to gain bonus damage on a critical hit.

Yes!!! Man it really sucked DMing when the fighter player's (a togakure-ryu ninjutsu instructor) dice were on fire. I like to see the players do well but when that success translates to a literal kick in the nuts you can't help but wish for a TPK.

 

[Umbran]

I've been paying protection money to a team of elite kobold ninjas for years, just in case. Time for them to earn it.

The Gnomes are Pirates. They have Canon Cannons. The ninjas don't stand a chance.

Stop telling me how to play, Mearls!

He's not telling you how to play Mearls. That role has already been cast, and will be played by Jack Black, using Vin Diesel as a body double...

If you want to audition for the role of a Giant Space Hamster, however, they are looking for extras....

 

[Halivar]

If you want ot auditio for the role of a Giant Space Hamster, however, they are looking for extras....

Some actors can only stuff ONE carrot in their cheeks. I can stuff FIVE.

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[Jester David]

...

I couldn't read the text, all blacked out. And on my iPad, so no highlighting.
So I started with the replies and thought they were serious.
Then I cut-and-pasted the text to see what was so egregious.

 

[Tormyr]

Some actors can only stuff ONE carrot in their cheeks. I can stuff FIVE.

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W...T...F...

If only someone could animate in minis or peoples bodies, that would win the evil giant space hamster award.