Confessions of a 25 Year Old Gamer

[Tequila Sunrise]

Take this for whatever you will. It’s not a rant, or a cry for help or anything except me writing out loud. If nothing else, maybe it’ll help you fall asleep tonight.

My obsession with D&D began when I was about ten years old, back in the days of 2 edition. The friend who taught me to play is younger than I am, and is one of those people who fixate on a hobby for about a month and then get fixated on something else. So after a month, he forgot about D&D but I didn’t. I literally grew up on the top of a hill in rural New York, so not surprisingly I went through all of grade school without having a game last for more than a month. Then 3rd edition came out and I went off to a college that was almost as rural and depopulated as my homehill.

Finally during my freshman year of college I was able to play a sporadic session here and there; no more than I can count on one hand though. Maybe it was my over exuberance or my introverted tendencies, but I couldn’t get a solid game together. Finally during Sophomore year, a few college gamers got it together to show up regularly for D&D night; I don’t have proof but I suspect that my best friend gamer buddy was the one to talk them into showing up. He unfortunately shares a name with a very famous [or infamous, depending on your PoV] politician, but he’s very charismatic and has a way of winning hearts and minds, which is why I think those gamers finally all showed up very suddenly on the same night, ready to play.

Eureka! Finally, a D&D game that lasted for nearly an entire school year! We had a lot of fun, despite my newness as a DM and 3rd edition’s tenuous power balance. I was playing the game that I loved, despite rarely getting to play and despite the occasional real life melodrama, and I was happy. Then summer break came, we came back to school next year and that gaming spark seemed to have disappeared. Again, I couldn’t seem to string four weekly sessions together. One of my players got pregnant by another player, then had a miscarriage, then the two married each other, then he got busted for pot possession on college grounds and went to jail; after graduation I heard that she divorced him while he was stuck in there, I’m sure to her mother’s immense satisfaction.

Since college, I’ve lived in Queens, and then back upstate when the economy finally got the better of me. I’ve tried email and pbp games, but I always lose focus. The best I’ve had is a solid two months of weekly games with a great face-to-face group that unfortunately split for the usual reasons; a new baby, players moving far away. But most gaming and gamer experiences have convinced me that we as a group really are prone to be socially dysfunctional. I’ve talked to gamers who swear by D&D up and down, but can’t be depended on for a single session; I’ve gamed with a couple from a 1950s citcom; I’ve had players show up stoned and/or drunk; I’ve gamed with downright annoying gamers. And then there’s me.

I’ve gotten better at talking to people but I’m naturally introverted. I’m not annoying, I bathe regularly; I don’t have any other stereotypical gamer traits. The worst that can be said of me is that I’m not very emotive; I don’t project excitement or energy to fellow gamers. But as it turns out, that might be the worst trait I could have because I’m going on a hiatus from D&D. Over the summer I finally got a small group of local gamers together. We’ve been meeting weekly at my place for two or three months now, and I don’t really know what to do with them. We started out playing KotS and other one-shots, just to get to know each other. One of my players ran a session of a scifi game called Blue Planet that was fun, but most of us prefer fantasy. The youngest player tried his hand at DMing, but he’s only interested in hack ‘n’ slash. But we still only barely know each other; I know everyone’s first name and what they do, but I can’t call most of them my friends. I think we all have a social dysfunction, or think we do.

We need a consistent campaign with action and story and all that, but nobody seems excited enough for the job. Another player was going to DM a campaign based on Warcraft but she’s too overwhelmed with work; another player owns a couple modules but doesn’t feel confident enough with the rules to DM. A different player might be able to DM for us later in the month, but who knows? I’ve been working on an Exalted-to-D&D conversion that I was pretty excited about, but nobody else seems to be so I don’t feel like it’s worth the effort of running. How anyone manages to have campaigns that regularly last more than five levels is miraculous to me. I guess I’m just funked out.

So I’ll use this hiatus for some other new hobbies that I’ve picked up; hiking, taekwondo, talking to people for no good reason and WoW. And a second [and more practical] degree in engineering, of course. Maybe when I get back to role playing I’ll be able to focus my own energy and my group better.

 

[Alzrius]

I'm seriously having an "I am Spartacus" moment here.

 

[Hussar]

I’ve tried email and pbp games, but I always lose focus.

If you haven't tried, I highly recommend virtual tabletop games. Maptool or OpenRPG both are free and have massive player bases. You can get into a game in about a week. You might have to shop around a bit before finding a group that's right for you, but, seriously, I think that VTT play might really be up your alley.

And hey, if you want to give it a test run, I'm running a fairly open ended campaign right now. Just follow the link in my sig.

 

[weem]

Thanks for sharing Tequila,

I don't have any advice that could help you much unfortunately other than to hit up Hussar on his ideas.

My situation is completely the opposite if yours (too many people wanting to play, and everyone very committed, no one misses games, etc) so I can't really relate - but again, I appreciate the insight into other peoples gaming lives - I feel for ya and wish you luck in getting something together

 

[Treebore]

I think what keeps us DM's going is not only do we want to tell a story but we also want to find out what the story is.


I mean, we all start out telling a story, but the game gets really good when "WE" start telling the story. So I no longer know where the story is going. I help give it general focus and direction, but my players give it "life".

When we feel we are living lives vicariously through our PC's, and watching a real story unfold through them, that's when my game is going good, and that's when I can run a campaign for years.

Its not easy to do, but when that right group comes together, and the magic happens, that is when you don't want to stop.

 

[Tyler Do'Urden]

Ooh, ooh, can I be Spartacus too?

I started playing when I was 10 as well... very occasionally, with a friend who lived across the highway. This would have been around 1992. It lasted until my parents took the game away from me later that same year; they believed that it taught me racism and violent, might-makes-right attitudes. Contrary to popular belief, religious conservatives aren't the only people opposed to D&D. There are liberals who think that it offers bad lessons to children as well- killing people and taking their stuff is alright, for instance. People who look different are naturally evil. Good and evil can be absolutely determined; etc., etc. I do think these are valid concerns for young people, and I do think that too much time spent playing D&D has had negative impacts on my life and caused some neurotic behavior- there's always part of me that seems to think that all of my "attributes" as a person can be measured by some absolute number, that all our traits are mathematically quantifiable, etc, etc. In any event, probably no worse than being an obsessive sports fan.

Anyway, when I was about 16, I picked up the game again, this time with an enthusiastic high school group. Wonder of wonders, we managed to keep weekly games going for three years. Yet, there was a problem. While we kept playing, our campaigns always seemed to peter out with a whimper, and never come to a satisfactory conclusion. Either we'd take a break and play a different game for awhile, before wandering back to D&D, or the campaign would simply fizzle out, as one DM (usually me) would get bored and want to hand over the baton for awhile.

In college, I hooked up with a new group of guys and girls (with sporadic visits from the old gang), and the same pattern repeated itself. While campaigns would generally last longer, they'd still get stuck at times; the only campaign to fully resolve itself was one that I found rather dull and was heavily "scripted" by the DM.

In the five years since college, however, my gaming life has been a vast wasteland. I tried forming groups with people online; they didn't gel, and we rapidly gave up. I tried RPGA, and found the local RPGA gamers to be the biggest bunch of mouth-breathing losers I'd ever met in my life. (Your local RPGA may be different; I won't tell you where I was living.) I switched to playing tournament M:TG instead for awhile- at least then I could play AGAINST these guys, rather than with them, but even that got old. A few years later, I moved to China. Over the summer, I started a bilingual D&D group; it was mildly interesting, but nobody could really get into my plot, and it ended badly. I handed DMing over to another player, but I'm overall unsatisifed with the game.

So yes, D&D is a lot of obsession and heartbreak for some of us; the game just never seems to want to go your way.

 

[Wepwawet]

I soooo understand what you're saying... It's so hard to know *nice* people to play who are as commited to the game as we are.

So I’ll use this hiatus for some other new hobbies that I’ve picked up; hiking, taekwondo, talking to people for no good reason and WoW.

Loved this one! LOL
This can be a lot of fun, but always remember that many people don't get Monty Python, or don't even know them

 

[avin]

Wait, no Bel Air at ending and no TLDR?

You fail at Wow

 

[Tyler Do'Urden]

I soooo understand what you're saying... It's so hard to know *nice* people to play who are as commited to the game as we are.

I think it's key to game with people with whom you have a relationship outside the game. That's part of why the strongest groups are often found in high school or college; the strongest post-college groups I've seen were made up of co-workers, millitary buddies, or others who have a bond outside of the game.

 

[ki11erDM]

I think it's key to game with people with whom you have a relationship outside the game. That's part of why the strongest groups are often found in high school or college; the strongest post-college groups I've seen were made up of co-workers, millitary buddies, or others who have a bond outside of the game.

You might try the RPGA... not sure if they have anything in your area. Our group is getting old (you know...30...) and we have a lot less time to play, so the we are fitting in some RPGA private games to fill in the voids.

It might not help with the bonding outside of the game but it could help your group play as you get free adventures and a little bit of structure.