Confessions of a 25 Year Old Gamer

[StreamOfTheSky]

I'm also 25 and also currently sitting out with no game. I was co-running a gestalt game recently, because I fortunately had the forsight to know playing into high levels with gestalt was simply not something I could sustain DMing every week, especially since until then I had never run more than 4 consecutive sessions (long one-shots). Unfortunately, no one else really ever wanted to take a turn as DM, and the only other person who ever did had to leave to focus on his thesis paper. Without him, the game crashed.

I could start a new game with the other friends, and try to draw in more people...but just like my friends..I really don't feel like creating a new campaign. I actually think part of it IS the fact we were using online (Maptool most recently). It's just not as fun or satisfying as my games in person. Unfortunately, apparently the only people I can befriend are ones who live far away from me.

 

[Theo R Cwithin]

@Tequila - I feel your pain, with an extra 10 or 12 years added. Unfortunately, players are not uniformly distributed throughout the world.

I started in 1982 when I was 9, and in all that time, I've only been fortunate enough to play in two real campaigns, along with a handful of one-shots or mini-campaigns in various systems. So, yes, I'm often on hiatus - and yet I always come back in some way, shape or form, even if it's just tracking goings on in the industry, or ginning up a little campaign just for grins. It's just something I really enjoy, and can't quite shake off. Maybe you'll find the same thing.

Whatever you decide or wherever you end up, good luck!

 

[Tequila Sunrise]

Well one of my players made a convincing argument to me yesterday -- that postponing sessions indefinitely will likely lead to permanent disbanding. So he's going to run Blue Planet again, and hopefully the others will show up if only to socialize and game. (Last time he only had one other player and I.) In theory, another player could restart his D&D campaign at the end of the month. So it looks like I'm not taking a hiatus from role playing, and my D&D hiatus could be rather short. I was kind of looking forward to not rping for a while, but I think it'll be enough to just not stress myself over it.

I'm currently trying to decide if it's worth the forty bucks to buy LotR Risk, in the event that my group is up for a day of pure non-rp gaming. I haven't even played the new basic Risk, but the old Risk got stale after the first half dozen games I played as a kid. (Australia + Aggressive Strategy = Win)

About 8 months ago, I ran across MapTools which I believe has been mentioned several times. Let me just say that I LOVE MapTools LFR. I've got a game tonight in about an hour or so in fact. Why do I think so much of it? First, it's flexible. VERY flexible. If I have a week where I know I have several open nights, I could easily get in three or four games very quickly. On the other hand, if I'm busy for two weeks with other priorities, my absence doesn't affect anything. The community is very strong and we've developed a solid comraderie. Finally, like my old group back in the day, it's focused. Game start time is game start time and we go - maximum gaming for your time investment.

Right now we're doing only LFR, though there's been talk recently of doing a "home" campaign in a shared world via Wizards' website groups and wikis. I would be happy to help you learn MapTools if that's a barrier to entry and strongly encourage you to check out what's going on.

The obstacle to learning MapTools has been not having a game to play it with. I know there's a tutorial, but I learn best by doing. So thanks for the info! I didn't know the virtual tabletop community was so flexible. I'll check out the forum.

Tequila, nice post--your writing style is refreshingly clear, plus I always enjoy "RPG confessionals."

Well my first degree is in English Lit, so I should be able to write a line or two.

I have no fear of permanently losing my interest in role playing -- but I do a blood-boiling sense that I've only done as much role playing as a more typical gamer has done by their teen years.

 

[alleynbard]

Tequila, nice post--your writing style is refreshingly clear, plus I always enjoy "RPG confessionals."

Any how, I've only briefly scanned the responses but I'm going to go against the trend a bit and, rather than offer some way for you to game in another form or fashion, suggest that you go ahead and take your hiatus. I think sometimes people are afraid to take a break because they love RPGs so much and are afraid that they'll lose something precious to them. Speaking only for myself, I have gone through many on and off cycles with RPGs, usually accompanied by a "binge and purge sub-cycle" of purchasing (embarrassingly enough occasionally including a book in the binge part that was sold in the previous purge! But I digress...).

I have gone through numerous hiatuses, once even not playing for years on end, only lightly following the industry (it was during my early-to-mid 20s when partying and socializing took precedence). But I have always found my way back again. Now, at age 35, I have had renewed interest, including the realization that I will probably always love RPGs...it was kind of a feeling of release, because before that I kept on thinking I would eventually "grow up and out of it." But recently something clicked, and it feels good to accept it. Embracing my inner geek, so to speak!

About a year ago I started up with a new gaming group. We are all 30-40-somethings, most with kids, all with careers, busy lives, etc. We decided that we could only commit to once a month gaming, which has proved very frustrating. A couple weeks ago I told everyone that I either want to play every other week (at least) or not at all; it is just too difficult to gather momentum and personal motivation if it is less frequent. Everyone agreed and wants to play more. The downside is that I kind of wanted out because I'm the only one who is a "serious gamer"--although none of us, even myself, are quite "hardcore"--and have found this a tad frustrating in that I haven't been able to talk about stuff outside of game sessions, brainstorm ideas, etc. But as luck would have it I just met a guy with a lot of similar (well-rounded) interests, including an equally strong interest in RPGs, who wants to co-DM, so we're going to be using the same homebrew world and alternate running adventures, which gets me back into playing. Plus I have someone to geek out with over coffee.

My point in sharing this is to point out not only the cycles I have gone through, but the fact that sometimes when we truly let go of something we gain something even greater. I have let go of RPGs only to find them again; I let go of the notion that I would grow out of RPGs and found a renewed interest; and recently I almost let go of my gaming group only to find an exciting new proposition awaiting.

So regardless of whether you are going to grow out of RPGs, I think the best thing to do is let them go for awhile. You really can't lose: either you will grow out of them and find something else, or you will find a renewed interest and, hopefully, a new group of folks to play with.

This is fantastic advice. Leaving behind RPGs for a bit seems depressing on the surface, but a break might be just what you need Tequila.

I took a similar break in my early 20's only to get back into the community in my mid to late 20'S The few years I had off were spent doing a number of different things. While I still perused and purchased RPGs, I did not play. It wasn't that I couldn't find a group, I just had other things I wanted to do at that time. I certainly felt no shame about being a geek (as I had other outlets for that) but RPGs were not high on my list at the time.

When I came back to the game full tilt it was like everything fell into place. I met the perfect group that led to strong friendships outside of the game. I met new people through these friends and introduced them to gaming. Now I have at least 14 gamers I can tap at any one time for a game. My core group consists of 5 people (it would be 6 if one of my friends didn't have to work on the days we can play) and while not all of them are hardcore gamers, they are loyal and faithful to the game.

It was during this time I also found my current partner. He was somewhat ignorant of D&D but took to it like a natural. Part of the reason our relationship works so well has to do with gaming. We are going on 8 years and I have D&D to thank for some of that.

So, I agree with what Mercurius is saying. Sometimes a step backwards is required to take a move forward. When you can look at the situation from a distance, it usually pays off in some way. Take your hiatus. Set a time if you need. Otherwise get back into gaming when you are ready. If it looks like you don't ever want to come back, that is fine as well. We all have tastes that change with growth. I suspect though, based on what you have said, that you will come back to the game and find your feet again.

For my part my hiatus made me love RPGs even more than I had before. It sparked a desire to really play, create, and DM in a way I hadn't felt before. And it just so happened by waiting I found what I was looking for. Sometimes, forcing the subject doesn't yield results. At least, I have occasionally found that to be true.

Good luck Tequila. Take the time to think and you will be rewarded in the end.

 

[Thunderfoot]

I started playing about the time you were born....

As for your situation, I can relate - I grew up in a small town - population 300. Yes that's three hundred. Farmers, buckle of the bible belt, D&D through the late 70s to mid 80s was NOT looked upon highly fashionably.

When I joined the Army in 89 I left hicksville and was immediately grouped with like minded individuals that loved to play (I was in Intelligence - haven of the geek). Since then I have I always had a regular group playing with not one but three campaigns lasting 3 or more years.

But due to financial and personal reasons I have recently moved back to hicksville. While this area now has lots of gamers (thank you SIU) I'm finding them all to be really young (and therefore more interested in hack n slay a style I have long since abandoned) or extremely limited in their scope of activities (and therefore unable to play often or with any real devotion to a game with any meaning).

So I too am a voice crying in the wilderness (quite literally) I wish to play anything (but 4e). Needless to say, I spend a lot of time on the computer play CIV IV....