Converting Oriental Adventures creatures


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Cleon

Legend
Do you have any thoughts on description and background?

Hmm...

I'm inclined to keep it simple and use something like this for the description.

A formidable looking warrior wearing elaborate armor and sumptuous robes, both faded and worn by age.

I did wonder about making it more elaborate by giving him all-concealing sinister garments, but there's nothing in the original description to support the addition.

A formidable looking warrior who's every feature is hidden behind elaborate armor and robes, once sumptuous but now faded and worn by age. The warrior's helm is fitted with a grotesquely grimacing mask that entirely covers the face. You can feel the warrior gazing at you with terrible intensity despite there being no eyes visible behind the black holes of the mask.

For the background, again, we don't need that much. How about this:

The General is one of the Seven Swords, a group of seven weapon masters who were transformed into unique undead by an ancient curse that binds them to a castle they once guarded in life. If one of the Seven Swords is destroyed, the curse causes them to reform the following night and continue to haunt the castle.

In life, the General was a proud and vicious man famous for bearing the crimson katana, a magical sword as bloodthirsty as he was. In death he remains unrepentant of his atrocious deeds and intends to add to them by slaying all intruders to the castle. The General spends its time meditating and brooding over lost battles when waiting for living victims to kill.

In Kara-Tur
The Seven Swords were the leading members of the Ito clan and lived in Ito-Jo castle. The malign influence of a krakentoa led to their rule becoming tyrannical and eventually brought down a dreadful curse upon the Swords and the entire castle, turning it into a haunted place of the damned. The Seven Swords of Ito-Jo cannot be destroyed simply by destroying their sword charms. The only way to permanently lay them to rest is to slay the krakentoa responsible for the curse.

The General was once Ito Tadahiro, the widowed father of Ito Kiku (the young woman who became the Veiled Maidens). While amazing with a sword, his arrogance and lack of tactical acumen made him a poor war leader. General Ito suffered such catastrophic defeats he lost all rank and position, forcing him into the disgraceful life of a wandering sell-sword. Eventually fate – or the krakentoa's curse – drew him back home, where he became one of the undead that haunts Ito-Jo castle to this day.
 

Cleon

Legend
We haven't written up the General's Rejuvenation ability yet. I think we'd better include the bit of "colour" in the original description:

"When defeated, he and his equipment vanish in a puff of red smoke, and the room turns dark."

Rejuvenation (Ex): The General cannot be destroyed through simple combat. If "destroyed" its body and equipment evaporates into red smoke and is surrounded by a strange darkness for a round. This darkness is a 60-foot radius spread of shadowy illumination that produces concealment (20% miss chance). When the darkness fades a small charm shaped like a sword appears hanging from the sword rest that is the General's special weakness.

The following night, the General reappears at full strength at whatever place it haunted and the sword charm vanishes. The General can only be destroyed permanently if its sword charm is destroyed before the General rejuvenates. A typical sword charm is a Fine sized object with 20 hp, hardness 12, and break DC 24.​

While we're on the subject, I feel the Reaper's Rejuvenation could do with a little tweak. His original entry says "when he is defeated he shrivels up like a dried pod". So how about changing:

Rejuvenation (Ex): The Reaper cannot be destroyed through simple combat. If "destroyed" its body and scythe will crumble away to dust, leaving a small charm shaped like a sword.​

To.

Rejuvenation (Ex): The Reaper cannot be destroyed through simple combat. If "destroyed" its body and scythe shrivel into a husk and crumble away, leaving a small charm shaped like a sword.​

That sounds more like the "shrivel to a dried pod" of the original.
 
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freyar

Extradimensional Explorer
I like the description and background. Since we spent a while talking about "re-tuning" the crimson katana, though, I'd rather if that didn't turn to smoke as soon as he is defeated. Hmmmm.
 

Cleon

Legend
I like the description and background. Since we spent a while talking about "re-tuning" the crimson katana, though, I'd rather if that didn't turn to smoke as soon as he is defeated. Hmmmm.

Well I guess we could either cut the "and equipment" bit out or add an "(except for the crimson katana)" note, e.g.:

Rejuvenation (Ex): The General cannot be destroyed through simple combat. If "destroyed" its body and equipment evaporates into red smoke, leaving behind the crimson katana and a zone of strange darkness. This darkness is a 60-foot radius spread of shadowy illumination that lasts 1 round and produces concealment (20% miss chance). When the darkness fades a small charm shaped like a sword appears hanging from the sword rest that is the General's special weakness.

The following night, the General reappears at full strength at whatever place it haunted and the sword charm vanishes. The General can only be destroyed permanently if its sword charm is destroyed before the General rejuvenates. A typical sword charm is a Fine sized object with 20 hp, hardness 12, and break DC 24.

Seems a bit wordy, but it's clearer that way.
 




Cleon

Legend
Just noticed that the Reaper and Veiled Maidens special abilities weren't quite in alphabetical order - mainly because I'd inserted Rejuvenation after Special Weakness when it should be before it.

Oh, and the Reaper's "Martial Training" belonged before its "Masterful Combat Reflexes", not after it.

It's just a niggle, but I've swapped them round for the sake of consistency.
 

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