Courtesy in Restaurants

[JoeBlank]

People have become hypersensitive about cell phones. As others have mentioned, it may have been a little rude of your wife to have a conversation on her cell phone, but this was only rude to you and her other dining companions. As long as her voice was truly at normal level, it did not affect the other customers at all.

I agree with those who do not answer the phone during meals. If I am out, I will check my cell phone shortly after, during a pause in conversation, to see if it might have been something urgent. If a voicemail was left, I might excuse myself from the table to listen to the the voicemail and decide whether to return the call. But this is true of any phone, not just my cell phone. We do not answer the house phone during meals at my house.

Many of my relatives now realize that we rarely answer the phone, and they seem to consider this rude. It seems that people believe that when your phone rings you have an obligation to answer it. If I am talking to my wife or children, watching a movie or some other show, reading a book, or posting to ENW, it may not be a convenient time for me to hold a telephone conversation. I will check the phone at the first opportunity to see who called and whether they left a voicemail. Then I will decide when to call them back. If they choose not to answer at that time that is certianly their right, and I will be happy to leave a return message.

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Your wife was potentially being rude to the other people at the table, but if she knows that everyone there was ok with it, and was not raising her voice above the ambient noise (hard to judge sometimes) then I don't think she was. But then, I am firmly of the opinion that you are rude based on how your actions effect other people and your forknowlege of that effect, not by an objective set of ettiquete rules. Set social standards give you a good starting place if you don't know people well enough to tailor polite behavoir to them, but have no intrinsic merit of their own.

In any case, as long as she wasn't being louder than ambient resturant aceptability, the people at the other table should have been properly in their other table world, not worrying about, judging or commenting on your table.

 

[WayneLigon]

I don't find it really rude to have a phone conversation at the table in normal tone of voice as long as it's brief and the others at the table are OK with it. As long as it's in a reasonable and normal tone of voice, other diners should have no problem with it, since it's no different than talking to your tablemates.

You know what is?

These bloody walkie-talkie things people have now. If it's possible to have conversation on them at a polite level I've yet to hear it, since even several tables over I can very clearly hear the other person. What possible advantage is it to have these things?

 

[loki44]

Personally I find talking on cell phones in most public places to be annoying, but I'm not sure about rude. To me, your wife was ruder to you than she was to others in the establishment since you were having dinner together and she chose to converse with someone else. The other people who were loud-talking (well, that's what I call it anyway) were also annoying, but I'm not sure about rude. I 'spose they can talk about whatever they want. Of course there are contextual considerations as well (e.g. the type of restaurant, importance of the call, etc...). Like JoeBlank I often do not answer my phones at all. I have caller id on all of them and if I don't feel like talking, I won't. My wife considers that rude.

 

[Kahuna Burger]

These bloody walkie-talkie things people have now. If it's possible to have conversation on them at a polite level I've yet to hear it, since even several tables over I can very clearly hear the other person. What possible advantage is it to have these things?

ugh, those things make me crazy at work. Most of them make a loud static noise before the other person yells out.

 

[Dimwhit]

In a place where normal conversation exists, it shouldn't matter to other patrons if your wife is having a conversation with her guests or her cell phone. (As mentioned, a movie theater or other such place would make it outright rude, but that's not the case here.) The only ones it should matter to is the others at the table.

 

[elforcelf]

I do not think she was rude at all. It would be rude not answer it. It was not hurting anyone.

 

[Wombat]

[semi-luddite]
I loath cell phones
[/semi-luddite]

Anyway, yes I would say both parties involved were rude, and rather severely so. Your wife should have turned the phone off before entering the restaurant. The other group could have been much more tactful and less confrontational.

Cell phones are now, as has been stated before, ubiquitous. As such there are many people who feel that simply because most people have them that they should be allowed to speak anywhere at any time. Couple this with the fact that it is usually harder to hear yourself speaking on a cell phone than on a cradle phone (due to lack of feedback), people tend to actually become louder when speaking on them, this leads to a lot of disruption. I find cell phones be to the single most annoying invention of the last 50 years.

I have been staggered of late with multiple people shushing me because they are on cell phones in public...

And so when people are floored when I tell them I don't own a cell phone, I smile. How can you get ahold of me? Well, I have a standard phone with an answering machine. I also have a physical address. I have two different e-mail addresses (business and personal). And I have a fairly regular schedule.

People do NOT need to get ahold of me 24/7.

 

[sniffles]

I do not think she was rude at all. It would be rude not answer it. It was not hurting anyone.

Just curious, but why is it rude to not answer the phone? Since when did it become mandatory to always answer the phone when it rings?

I'm with Wombat. I don't have a cell phone, and it really annoys me that everyone who does thinks they should be able to talk on it whenever and wherever they are. I've heard some very personal conversations on the bus!!

But I also hate talking on the phone.

 

[Arnwyn]

Rude on both counts.

Did the phone actually ring, or was it set on vibrate? AFAIC, a ringing phone (especially cell phones with gawd-awful ring tones) in a restaurant is both rude and annoying.

(And, ironically enough, I work in the telecommunication industry.)