Creepy Player Habits - WARNING: reading may require a Sanity Check!

[Imagicka]

Greetings...

Well, despite the fact that one person I have gamed with is schizophrenic and the numerous stories I could tell about her... and the soap opera that is her life...

Or the guy who fancied himself a 'witch', and said he was a Wiccan, but liked to call himself a 'warlock', who was a manipulative little s**t who would try and suck any gullible person into his fray...had his own little greasy lacky who never really understood why we called him 'Igor'...

The weirdest gamer had to be Peter-slash-Stephanie (that's how we ended up saying this person's name - and names changed to protect the not-so-innocent). We first meet this guy who has poor hygiene skills, a lot like a number of gamers. Who also has long wavy, greasy hair, leather jacket and cut and frayed jean jacket with numerous buttons and pins like any eccentric rockeresque person. We didn't think anything much about this person, other than he's another weirdo gamer. Par for the course...

Next time he shows up, he's got one of his friend's in tow, and shows up and interrupts a game I'm running. Of course, I don't mind, and relish a little time to go off and get something to eat and let my player's take a break. Peter and his friend are asking various questions to my players, and my players are all politely responding. Once Peter and his friend leave, my players turn on me like a bunch of alcoholics who I've just flashed a bottle of whiskey at.
"Who's that guy? -- I hope your not going to invite him into your game!"
"Did you smell that guy? I don't think he's washed himself in a days! Weeks!"
"You thought it was that guy? I thought it was his friend who didn't speak!"
"That guy was WAY TOO WEIRD!"
"Both of them were WAY TOO WEIRD!"
"Yeah, well, did you see what he was wearing?"

Peter was wearing a matching set of woman's jewelry. Earrings, bracelet, wrist-watch and necklace. I think you can see where this is going...

The next time Peter shows up, is in the middle of another friend's game. This time Peter is dressed as a woman. A very slutty woman. His makeup is running, and he's all sweaty, which kinda makes you wonder what he's been doing. Also, he has 4-5 men in tow with him. He also insists on being called Stephanie. We all know that Peter thinks himself a woman in a man's body. Problem is, he doesn't have one effeminate feature about him. He makes a horrible woman. When he pretends to be a woman, it seems too artificial and over the top.

I'm sitting there wondering of Ron/Stephanie's "dates" know he's a man or not. But it doesn't seem to matter, because he's in the back of the room with them, while the game is trying to go on, sucking face with each of them in turn. Looking back on the whole situation, I'm sure these men knew what was going on. At least he had the good sense to take his dates and go before things got too hot and heavy.

 

[Negative Zero]

what an awesome thread! this should be required reading for all players! this really makes me appreciated my group ... even that weird new guy from Montana who kept going on about "snickers bars" and "chilli-doging" at his first session ... if you don't know what those are, trust me stay that way! that they even have NAMES for those is kinda disturbing. lol

i've never (thankfully!) experienced the kind of creep that's been posted thus far, but here's my meager contribution

my first game in NYC was run by this weird guy named Matt. turns out he also ran a game for my current GM (at a different time) and one session, while the group made camp and heard a noise outside the light of the camp fire, a character pulls out his bow, notches an arrow and calls out the standard "who goes there?". the GM responds by giving the player the evil eye, causing the player's bow to spontaneously combust and say in an ominous voice: "who else wants to tempt the forces of darkness?"

the players in general weren't much better ... especially the one 350lb 5'5" guy with the permanent helium voice who played the ADHD kender halfling. bizzarre i tell you.

but the wiredest "player" i ever met was back when i was still at home in St.Lucia. this american woman (i think she was peace corps) found out we played and approached us at the bar we hung out at. i say "player" coz we never actually gamed with her and it wasn't even the joker grin that she had plastered on her face the entire time she talked to you, or her strange habit of yelling out "interestiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!!!" and "that's so, intrestiiiiiiiiiing!!!" in response to everything you said. it was her insistence that she wanted to play a hermaphrodite half-elf bard with a 12" ... no not the "d" word, the "c" one. *shudder*

~NegZ

 

[WayneLigon]

Probably the creepiest player I ever encountered was Mike. This was during high school and I was friends with Mike's cousin Don. Don was a cool guy and very normal. Mike was... the black sheep of the family, apparently, and Don felt sorry for him. Mike was in his early twenties or so, living off the inheritance from his dead parents and majoring in, I think, philosophy - some major that practically stamped 'Do you want fries with that?' on his forehead.

As time went on, Mike's personal care began to, well, slip. I never went beyond the dining room of his house, but others that did said he slept in a bed that was apparently never ever changed. There was a long yellowish-brown oblong in the hole he'd worn in the mattress. I assumed it was from never washing the sheets and pad. Until he came over for D&D one time. We played at the dining room table, which had some fairly nice chairs with a pale beige cushion on them. Mike had to leave early and I went over to push his chair in, and I notice this yellowish-brown oblong shape on the nice pale cushion.

Somehow, through pants and - only now do I realize I assume - underwear, he'd managed to leave a long smear of poop on my mom's dining room chair. I thought Don's face was going to melt off, it got so red.

 

[TracerBullet42]

i said i was sorry.

nobody touches the dice.

I thought I recognized your goofy grin...

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

This is the Best. Thread. Ever. When I have time, I'll write about "The Black Unicorn". I'm at work now... but it's a good story.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

I'd been playing D&D about a year at this point. My friend and DM Wolf (his real name, btw) and I were in Waldenbooks in the mall looking at the comics rack (yes..they had a comics rack in those days). This guy we knew through another gamer comes up with someone in tow and says, "Roach, Wolf-I want you to meet Allen." (Roach is my real last name). Allen looks at us, and in this screechy voice shouts, "Roach and Wolf? Are those your D&D names? They call me the Black Unicorn!!!"

Wolf barely kept his composure, but stiffly walked out of the store. From somewhere near the food court I then hear maniacal laughter. I'm left standing there with these guys. Allen snatches a DM's Guide off the shelf and begins leafing through it, telling me how all the illustrations were his but were stolen by other artists who put their names on them. He also tells me how FASA Games has tried to break into his house to steal the designs for the Mechs he plays in Mechwars. THEN he starts telling me how Gygax and Arneson stole his ideas to create the game in the first place (despite the fact he would've been about 6 years old when they created the game).

During this whole time, I've not said a word; just stared in mute stupefaction at this idiot. He finally stops, after telling me how FASA Games has offered him $50,000 cash to design a Dison's Sphere for one of their Star Trek RPG adventures. Greg, the guy who'd walked up and introduced him, seemed really uncomfortable now, and was looking very apologetic. Allen "The Black Unicorn", then asks, "So, do you think you'd let me DM for you? I only charge $50 a session, but if your players chip in it won't be so bad."

Wolf had come back at this point, and now made no effort to not laugh in the guy's face. I led him away, still giggling.

And then there was this guy named Bill, who claimed to have been thrown out of his church when he successfully cast a Light Spell to prove that he, not his character, was a 371st Level Magic-User. But I'll save him for another day....

 

[Arnwyn]

However, I suspect that anyone who wants to play female characters as caricatures...isn't used to socializing with women, shall we say.

As others have noted, that's a nonsensical suspicion.

As for the stories in this thread - I don't believe them. They can't be true!

 

[Torm]

As for the stories in this thread - I don't believe them. They can't be true!

Mine is, and based on that and other experiences in this life, I am saddened to report that I am strongly inclined to believe the rest, as well. :\

Do not doubt the word of Torm the True.

​

 

[Chimera]

As others have noted, that's a nonsensical suspicion.

As for the stories in this thread - I don't believe them. They can't be true!

From your profile, visible on the page;

"Location: brink of total screaming madness"

So....of course you don't believe them. You're mad.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

As for the stories in this thread - I don't believe them. They can't be true!

I can't speak for the rest, but mine are completely true. I am, however, inclined to believe them. In the middle of a game once, the pizza guy arrives, sees we're playing and says, "Oh. You guys are playing D&D, huh? Yeah, I'm a pagan." Then he puts the pizzas down and takes off his shirt to show us his "ritual scars and tattoos".

He didn't get a tip.