cross gender fun?
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Fictionaut
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The number of cross-gender characters in games I have played in or run has dropped as my friends and I have gotten older and become more involved role-players. Way back in the day, we actually had instances where players couldn't remember whether they had decided to play a male or female PC when asked 
The only time cross-gender characters occur anymore seems to be when someone wants to model a character out of a book or movie. I have no problem with the idea as a DM, and I've never seen a truly bad execution of it, but as a player I don't find it particularly rewarding.
The only time cross-gender characters occur anymore seems to be when someone wants to model a character out of a book or movie. I have no problem with the idea as a DM, and I've never seen a truly bad execution of it, but as a player I don't find it particularly rewarding.I no longer allow players to play their gender opposites. Since I put this “rule” into place about five years ago, not a single player I have played with since then has complained. What are my reasons for this? Well, I have a couple:
1. While I have I seen people play their gender opposites very well in the past, the number of times I have seen it done poorly greatly outnumbers the good portrayals. Suffering through the bad portrayals just simply isn’t worth it. I have been lucky to have many female players over the years, and while most of them have found it amusing to watch a guy play a woman at first, eventually it starts grating on their nerves (when done badly). Since I primarily DM, having players complain to me about other players ruins the fun for me, so anything I can do to keep it the players “harmonious” I am in favor of. (Now that I think about it, I have never had a female player want to play a male character, so I am not sure what that says about the male psyche. )
2. I not exactly sure what it really adds to the game. I realize that it is a fantasy role-playing game, but, just like real life, aside from some purely biological differences, there is nothing a male character can do that a female character can’t do, or visa versa. You can just as easily be cruel, heroic, sultry, sensitive, nurturing, and/or brutal playing either sex. If you really want to look at the world through a different set of eyes, be any elf, or a dwarf, or any other race besides human.
The handful of times someone has asked me of it was OK to play a different sex (they were always new to the group) the conversation always went something like this:
New Player: “Hey, can I play a female character?”
Me: “No, we talked about this already.”
New Player: “Aww, come on…”
Me (trying to give him the benefit of the doubt): “OK, why do you want to play a female?”
Then comes one of two answers:
Player Answer 1: “I have this great character idea…”
My Answer (after listening to a great, or not so great, character idea): “And why couldn’t a male behave this way?”
Player (after a moment or two of silence): “Well, I don’t know…I hadn’t thought about that.”
Or the player response with:
Player Answer 2: “Because it would be a fun change of pace…shake things up a bit.”
My Answer (realizing that there is 9 out of 10 chance he just wants to play a woman with loose morals): “No, give me a better reason.”
This then leads back to answer 1
I am sure some of you may disagree with my views on this, and if you like playing the opposite sex and do it well, I say more power to you. I would be interested in hearing how playing the opposite sex enhances your actual gaming experience, however. What can you do as a your gender opposite that you can’t do as your actual gender?
1. While I have I seen people play their gender opposites very well in the past, the number of times I have seen it done poorly greatly outnumbers the good portrayals. Suffering through the bad portrayals just simply isn’t worth it. I have been lucky to have many female players over the years, and while most of them have found it amusing to watch a guy play a woman at first, eventually it starts grating on their nerves (when done badly). Since I primarily DM, having players complain to me about other players ruins the fun for me, so anything I can do to keep it the players “harmonious” I am in favor of. (Now that I think about it, I have never had a female player want to play a male character, so I am not sure what that says about the male psyche.
)2. I not exactly sure what it really adds to the game. I realize that it is a fantasy role-playing game, but, just like real life, aside from some purely biological differences, there is nothing a male character can do that a female character can’t do, or visa versa. You can just as easily be cruel, heroic, sultry, sensitive, nurturing, and/or brutal playing either sex. If you really want to look at the world through a different set of eyes, be any elf, or a dwarf, or any other race besides human.
The handful of times someone has asked me of it was OK to play a different sex (they were always new to the group) the conversation always went something like this:
New Player: “Hey, can I play a female character?”
Me: “No, we talked about this already.”
New Player: “Aww, come on…”
Me (trying to give him the benefit of the doubt): “OK, why do you want to play a female?”
Then comes one of two answers:
Player Answer 1: “I have this great character idea…”
My Answer (after listening to a great, or not so great, character idea): “And why couldn’t a male behave this way?”
Player (after a moment or two of silence): “Well, I don’t know…I hadn’t thought about that.”
Or the player response with:
Player Answer 2: “Because it would be a fun change of pace…shake things up a bit.”
My Answer (realizing that there is 9 out of 10 chance he just wants to play a woman with loose morals): “No, give me a better reason.”
This then leads back to answer 1
I am sure some of you may disagree with my views on this, and if you like playing the opposite sex and do it well, I say more power to you. I would be interested in hearing how playing the opposite sex enhances your actual gaming experience, however. What can you do as a your gender opposite that you can’t do as your actual gender?
JohnBrown:
How about number three: Because I'd like to?
I mean, you can clamp down on everything. Do you say to characters who wish to play different races that they have to give a full explanation?
I understand the potential problem of cross-gender characters, but then the problem is only marginally worse than playing with poor roleplayers anyway. Being realistic, a good roleplayer is a good roleplayer whichever gender he plays; and a bad one likewise. As such, I don't have any problem with cross-gender characters. Having said that, I do *encourage* weaker roleplayers not to, and explain that it can be quite a challenge to do properly, but I'd never veto a cross-gender character.
As for myself, well I'm nearly always DM, so playing cross-gender characters is nothing weird (roughly half my NPCs are female
).
How about number three: Because I'd like to?
I mean, you can clamp down on everything. Do you say to characters who wish to play different races that they have to give a full explanation?
I understand the potential problem of cross-gender characters, but then the problem is only marginally worse than playing with poor roleplayers anyway. Being realistic, a good roleplayer is a good roleplayer whichever gender he plays; and a bad one likewise. As such, I don't have any problem with cross-gender characters. Having said that, I do *encourage* weaker roleplayers not to, and explain that it can be quite a challenge to do properly, but I'd never veto a cross-gender character.
As for myself, well I'm nearly always DM, so playing cross-gender characters is nothing weird (roughly half my NPCs are female
).
Tsyr
Explorer
JohnBrown said:
IMHO, I think you are sort of "missing the point". It's not that most character concepts can't be shaped to fit a male character, most can (Wheel of Time is one where that is decidedly a no-no though).... But basicly you could ask that of people who want to play different races too.
Player "I've got this really neet idea for a dwarf warrior who uses a big hammer..."
DM "Why couldn't a human wield a big hammer?"
etc etc.
And to be frank, I find far more people who (IMO) play non-humans badly than play a cross-gender character badly.
It boils down, as I see it, to just another thing to do. Just as much as playing an elven wizard is something to do other than playing a human college student.
Now, I'm gonna take off on a slightly differnet vector to try to put this in a slightly differnet light:
I'm a heterosexual guy, but I have twice in about 10 years played a homosexual male character (Well, one was bisexual, actualy, but...). Would the DMs who forbid cross-gender characters forbid this too? Do you force players to only play the same gender and same sexual orientation as themselves as well? If so, at what point does it stop? Same racial group as themselves? (Oh no, no playing an asian character, you might treat them as a sterotype.) Same age as themselves (Oh no, no playing a 55 year old wizard, you might play him as a sterotype.)
As I said before, I would be FAR more inclined to forbid people from playing non humans than any of the other above choices.
Teflon Billy
Explorer
Tsyr said:
Hey Tsyr
The answer in that case would still be no. I like all of the allowable options for character generation to be open to all of my players, a "level playing field" if you will. I don't ever want to imply that one player is more valuable or capable than another (whether I actually believe this or not is another story)I have one player who constantly wants to play someone with supernatural powers. My D&D game is largely about Rogues and Fighters (he show up with a Wizard...which had proven in the past to be overpowered in the Low Magic game I run).
My sci-fi game is about low rent smugglers and mercenaries (he shows up with a Psioniscist...which I had expressly forbidden as previous experience had shown them to be "overpowered" for their point totals in the kind of game I was running).
I don't doubt that he could have added something to the game, but when I said "Make a Rogue or Fighter" I meant it. For everyone. Based on my previous experiences
When I said ""No Psionicists" I meant for anyone who wanted to play, again based on my previous experiences.
And when I say "no cross gender" Guess who I mean...and guess why.
If I let one player do it (however capable), the others will expect the same treatment (and rightly so in my opinion).
Well, I'm not saying every player that comes to the table is like that, or that every pool of players in a city is the same. The person who started this thread asked if we allow such things. My answer was no and I explained why.
Everyone's mileage is likely to vary
(the poll at this time shows that my position is in the distant minorityWell, if you've read this post, you know I disagree
But yeah, I'm not saying that no one should allow it. People seem to have had great success playing "Jetboy/Jetgirl" (ask someone who grew up in the '80's) with their D&D games.
Who am I to criticize
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