HalfOrc HalfBiscuit
Adventurer
I dunno, a minotaur rushes into the lair and the first thing it does is go for a Jimmy. What sort of game are you running? 
D&D 5e Into The (Keep on the) Borderlands (B1&2) #032 Monster Mash.
The Unexpected in the Caves of Chaos.
Session #030 SUPPLEMENTARY: Stats Attack!
PCs (in alphabetical order)
Krago of the Mountains (Pete) Male Mountain Dwarf Ranger (Folk Hero) Level 4.
Lappoy the Unexpected (Rob) Male High Elf Wizard (Sage) Level 4.
Mohag the Wanderer (Pete) Male Human Barbarian (Outlander) Level 4.
Sho-Rembo (Dave) Female Stout Halfling Druid (Hermit) Level 4.
Sir Glen (Dave) Male Human Paladin of Lathander (Noble) Level 4.
Sosspan (Dave) Male Dragonborn Wizard (Spy) Level 4.
Trebbelos (Pete) Male Tiefling Sorcerer (Charlatan) Level 4.
Sidekick (played mostly by the DM).
Scrubs Male Human Sidekick Expert (Soldier) Level 3.
Dead PCs, NPCs & Sidekicks (in alphabetical order)
Afton Barr (Dave) Male Half-Elf Bard (Entertainer) Level 1.
Corbis Male Human Sidekick Warrior (Soldier) Level 2.
Estra Zo (Pete) Female Wood Gnome Rogue (Urchin) Level 1.
Farned of the Leaf Lord (Dave) Male Wild Elf Cleric of Rillifane Rallithil (Acolyte) Level 1.
Tassit (Dave) Female Human Monk (Hermit) Level 1.
The Mystical One (Pete) Female Human Warlock (Outlander) Level 1.
Tribbits Male Human Sidekick Warrior (Soldier) Level 2.
Wormwood Male Human Guard.
Yor (Pete) Male Dragonborn Fighter (Folk Hero) Level 2.
QUESTS (and stuff to do).*
- Find Zelligar and Rogahn's former base, explore it and steal its treasures.
- Find Tolpuddle, the 'mad druid' or 'mad hermit' of the Whispering Woods, he may know where Z&R's base is (see #1 above), also say 'hi' from his brother Bumble.
- Tell Darvon, Priest of Oghma, about the Unexpected's adventures. ONGOING.
- Track down and kill/capture the former bandit leader- Dee Dee Raven (see Mebros, Captain of the Watch).
- Help the water sprites of the Goblinwater River, for Bumble.
- Clear a bunch of spiders out of the Spiderwood, for Bumble.
- Stop the undead attacks in the Whispering Woods, for Bumble.
- Clear the Caves of Chaos for the Castellan of the Keep on the Borderlands, reward 2,500gp plus. IN PROGRESS.
- Find the rest of the Fortune's Five adventuring party- Bullywugs?
Note, we now read this list at the start of each new session, that's what it's like to get old- your memory just stops working.
Note, you can click on the pictures here to make them bigger (if you didn't know this already).
There are no pictures in this one...
Day 44: Being the 14th Day of Kythorn, in the year 1493 by Dale Reckoning, known as the Year of the Purple Dragons, around two in the morning, that's early.
Yeah, yeah. But not that, not now...
Stats, I don't know why I do this, oh yes I do- it's because there's a Stat Counter thing on my Fantasy Grounds Unity, and I'm mesmerised by this stuff.
Here follows an Unexpected stat attack, we've now played thirty (mostly short= 2 to 2.5 hour) sessions. Here's the results, stats wise.
Oh, and I've only included N/PCs that have made 50+ attacks.
Note, there's only one NPC left alive- Scrubs, he has made 50+ attacks, so- he's in the mix.
So, the stat counter on FGU says-
Note = in brackets (number after 20 sessions).
MOST SUCCESSFUL TO HIT ROLLS:
133 Mohag (74)
132 Krago (62)
80 Lappoy (63)
66 Sir Glen (37)
60 Sho-Rembo (32)
50 Trebbelos (30)
45 Sosspan (29)
37 Scrubs (NA).
MOST CRITS:
12 Mohag (7)
10 Krago (4)
9 Lappoy (7)
6 Sir Glen (5) & Trebbelos (3)
5 Sho-Rembo (3)
2 Scrubs & Sosspan (1)
MOST MISSED TO HIT ROLLS:
75 Krago (30)
54 Mohag (32)
48 Sir Glen (32)
45 Sosspan (29)
44 Sho-Rembo (29)
42 Scrubs (NA)
37 Lappoy (30)
36 Trebbelos (30)
MOST FUMBLES:
13 Krago (7)
7 Sir Glen (4)
6 Trebbelos (3)
4 Scrubs (NA), Sho-Rembo (4) & Sosspan (4)
2 Mohag (1)
1 Lappoy (1)
TOTAL DAMAGE DEALT:
1646 Lappoy (871)
1484 Mohag (858)
1393 Sosspan (556)
1297 Sho-Rembo (457)
1218 Krago (497)
1127 Trebbelos (418)
502 Sir Glen (269)
262 Scrubs (NA)
HIGHEST DAMAGE WITH A SINGLE HIT:
32 Krago (20) & Sho-Rembo (20)
22 Mohag (22)
21 Lappoy (17) & Sosspan (17)
20 Sir Glen (20) & Trebbelos (20)
16 Scrubs (NA)
TOTAL KILLS:
86 Lappoy (59)
70 Mohag (42)
54 Krago (25)
48 Sosspan (23)
45 Sho-Rembo (22)
37 Trebbelos (21)
24 Sir Glen (13)
16 Scrubs (NA)
TOTAL HEALING GIVEN:
307 Sho-Rembo (163)
162 Sir Glen (112)
121 Krago (61)
56 Mohag (31)
45 Lappoy (19)
33 Sosspan (26)
32 Trebbelos (14)
24 Scrubs (NA)
TOTAL HEALING RECEIVED:
249 Krago (128)
187 Mohag (68)
97 Sir Glen (74)
51 Lappoy (31)
37 Trebbelos (14)
35 Sho-Rembo (8)
34 Sosspan (27)
25 Scrubs (NA)
TOTAL DAMAGE TAKEN:
410 Mohag (177)
401 Krago (203)
333 Sho-Rembo (124)
200 Sir Glen (152)
104 Lappoy (66)
87 Sosspan (59)
85 Scrubs (NA)
69 Trebbelos (62)
MOST TIMES KO'ED:
6 Mohag (2) & Sho-Rembo (1)
4 Krago (1), Lappoy (4) & Sir Glen (4)
3 Sosspan (3)
2 Trebbelos (2)
0 Scrubs (0)
TOTAL SPELLS HIT:
72 Lappoy (26)
57 Sosspan (17)
51 Sho-Rembo (21)
46 Trebbelos (15)
1 Sir Glen (1)
TOTAL SPELLS MISSED:
62 Sho-Rembo (28)
35 Sosspan (11)
33 Trebbelos (13)
22 Lappoy (14)
1 Sir Glen (1)
MOST SAVES PASSED:
3 Krago (3), Scrubs (NA) & Sir Glen (3)
2 Lappoy (2) & Sho-Rembo (1)
1 Sosspan (1) & Trebbelos (1)
0 Mohag (0)
MOST SAVES FAILED:
2 Lappoy (2) & Mohag (2)
1 Krago (1), Scrubs (NA), Sho-Rembo (0), Sir Glen (1) & Sosspan (1)
0 Trebbelos (0)
And finally, all of the PCs, and NPCs*, best kills- by CR and Monster.
*Not just the PCs & NPCs with 50+ Attacks, all of them.
BEST KILL:
CR 0.125
Afton Barr (Giant Rat).
Estra Zo, Tassit & The Mystical One (Kobold).
CR 0.25
Farned of the Leaf Lord (Kobold Chief's Guard).
Tribbits (Wolf).
CR 0.5
Corbis (Torgo the Eye Gouger, Kobold Boss).
Yor (Hobgoblin).
CR 1
Lappoy (Tonka, Kobold Chief).
CR 2
Scrubs (Nik Nik, Orc Chief).
Sosspan (Nok Nok, Orc Chief).
Trebbelos (Gelatinous Cube).
CR 3
Krago (Korgan the Terror, Minotaur).
Mohag (Owlbear).
Sho-Rembo (Grelzenod, Hobgoblin Chief).
Sir Glen (Wight).
Still loving it.
Just to note we've not played a game for at least two (nearly three) weeks- half-term holidays and other real life interference. We play again (probably twice) tomorrow, back on it.
Stay safe and well you lovely people.
Toodles for a bit.
Cheers the Unexpected and goonalan.
The Unexpected in the Caves of Chaos.
Session #031 Unexpected Allies (sorta).
PCs (in alphabetical order)
Krago of the Mountains (Pete) Male Mountain Dwarf Ranger (Folk Hero) Level 4.
Lappoy the Unexpected (Rob) Male High Elf Wizard (Sage) Level 4.
Mohag the Wanderer (Pete) Male Human Barbarian (Outlander) Level 4.
Sho-Rembo (Dave) Female Stout Halfling Druid (Hermit) Level 4.
Sir Glen (Dave) Male Human Paladin of Lathander (Noble) Level 4.
Sosspan (Dave) Male Dragonborn Wizard (Spy) Level 4.
Trebbelos (Pete) Male Tiefling Sorcerer (Charlatan) Level 4.
Sidekick (played mostly by the DM).
Scrubs Male Human Sidekick Expert (Soldier) Level 3.
Dead PCs, NPCs & Sidekicks (in alphabetical order)
Afton Barr (Dave) Male Half-Elf Bard (Entertainer) Level 1.
Corbis Male Human Sidekick Warrior (Soldier) Level 2.
Estra Zo (Pete) Female Wood Gnome Rogue (Urchin) Level 1.
Farned of the Leaf Lord (Dave) Male Wild Elf Cleric of Rillifane Rallithil (Acolyte) Level 1.
Tassit (Dave) Female Human Monk (Hermit) Level 1.
The Mystical One (Pete) Female Human Warlock (Outlander) Level 1.
Tribbits Male Human Sidekick Warrior (Soldier) Level 2.
Wormwood Male Human Guard.
Yor (Pete) Male Dragonborn Fighter (Folk Hero) Level 2.
QUESTS (and stuff to do).*
- Find Zelligar and Rogahn's former base, explore it and steal its treasures.
- Find Tolpuddle, the 'mad druid' or 'mad hermit' of the Whispering Woods, he may know where Z&R's base is (see #1 above), also say 'hi' from his brother Bumble.
- Tell Darvon, Priest of Oghma, about the Unexpected's adventures. ONGOING.
- Track down and kill/capture the former bandit leader- Dee Dee Raven (see Mebros, Captain of the Watch).
- Help the water sprites of the Goblinwater River, for Bumble.
- Clear a bunch of spiders out of the Spiderwood, for Bumble.
- Stop the undead attacks in the Whispering Woods, for Bumble.
- Clear the Caves of Chaos for the Castellan of the Keep on the Borderlands, reward 2,500gp plus. IN PROGRESS.
- Find the rest of the Fortune's Five adventuring party- Bullywugs?
Note, we now read this list at the start of each new session, that's what it's like to get old- your memory just stops working.
Note, you can click on the pictures here to make them bigger (if you didn't know this already).
Day 44: Being the 14th Day of Kythorn, in the year 1493 by Dale Reckoning, known as the Year of the Purple Dragons, about ninety seconds after the last session started.
Note, we've just had a two-and-a-half week break in play, real life (and holidays, and work, and a wedding, etc.) got in the way. The first thing we did before getting back to it was read through the last couple of sessions in full. Don't get old- we had collectively forgotten almost everything (significant).
Further note, the two-and-a-half week break described above happened about a month or so ago, we've got issues- but I'll get to them in a bit- not this session/write-up.
So, we're back...
The Unexpected are out of breath, out of spells, but... and this is the clincher, they're pissed.
But first thing's first, it's two in the morning, and they're out in the Caves of Chaos ravine, and so... they head back to their new home from home, the ex-gnoll cave, to have a chat about what comes next.
So, the situation is- three of the guards they brought with them from the Keep on the Borderlands are dead, including Cpl Grubbins, who has been a friend to the Unexpected for quite a while. Note this information does not provoke greater caution within the adventuring group, quite the opposite, the Unexpected want revenge all the more.
But, even after a short rest, and healing- with a little help from Darvon, priest of Oghma, and his two wordless acolytes, well... the wizards have maybe five spell slots to spend between the three of them, this after Lappoy & Sosspan use their Arcane Recovery.
Although none of the arcane casters have their Mage Armour running any longer, and they don't like the idea of going out without it- none of 'em.
The druid, ranger and paladin each have one or two spell slots left, and... screw that yellow talk, we're going back in, but the question is where are the Unexpected going to attack/explore next.
The venture into the Orcus-flavoured undead caves with or without Darvon is put on hold.
Which just leaves three choices- the bugbear's lair- are their more of the big bastards in there, the PCs suspect that there can't be many, but the DM isn't giving any hints.
The minotaur lair, which must be cave J, see below.
Or the newly discovered cave M, into which a bugbear fled last session.
H= the bugbear's lair, which must be badly/barely defended the Unexpected think. J= unless there's another hidden cave then the minotaur must have come from here, unless... it was laired in cave M, which is where one of the bugbears fled to. K= this must be the main cavern entrance to the Orcus style undead temple.
Note the above is what the PCs have put together for themselves.
I'm not telling them if they're right or wrong.
And so the question still remains, where next- bugbears (H), minotaur (J) or the unknown (M)?
Consensus takes fifteen seconds, if that.
The bugbears, however many of the big bad goblins are left, are going to pay.
REVENGE!
However, before the Unexpected head back out adventuring they search the fallen bugbears they've accounted for so far for loot, and in particular they grab what they can from the old bugbear chief and the dead minotaur.
And so, a fair amount of coin- including a bag of gold (mostly on the bugbears) and a bunch of platinum pieces (courtesy of Old Gurpz, the bugbear chief), some gems, a pair of gold earrings (on Grim-Grim, the bugbear chief's consort), and a trio of keys (distributed between Old Gurpz & the minotaur) and...
A magical hand axe (Old Gurpz) and a magical spear (the minotaur).
Krago takes the former, while Mohag grabs the latter- they're both +1 weapons.
Nice!
And now the Unexpected are very much up for the fight, and so all the way across the ravine and...
Day 44: Being the 14th Day of Kythorn, in the year 1493 by Dale Reckoning, known as the Year of the Purple Dragons, about four in the morning, that's late- or else early.
Sho-Rembo and Krago go for a sneak about, and here's the thing- the place is as silent as the grave...
Only the crackle of the fire dying out, and guttering torches on the walls here and there.
The Unexpected, as best as they can, do a little sneaking about- first left is an abandoned guard chamber, with nothing of interest to be found here- unless skewered burnt meat is your thing.
But there are a pair of closed doors to the north- interesting.
And soon after, well... there's a lot to find.
A (formerly) locked storeroom to the east (a key taken from the bugbear chief fits the lock) and within the bugbear's supplies, with very few items worth taking. That is until Lappoy completes his Detect Magic ritual a little later and discovers that an old upturned shield, being used as a large bowl, is actually magical. A +1 shield.
Mohag takes this, the new defensive-ish barbarian.
The room across the way is clearly the bugbear chief's chambers, and there's plenty to find here, including a heavy chest mostly full of silver coins, but also some saleable silk swatches, and a pair of healing potions. And... another secret door.
This one heads into a series of natural caverns, but the Unexpected don't explore far- they figure this is the minotaur's lair, the cave next door, and so give it a miss for now. They shut the door and do the best they can to lock and secure it.
At least until the rest of the bugbear lair is searched.
Note, the Unexpected are all being very careful here, but... there seems to be just no-one about.
Another empty chamber, with a little treasure to be found.
But then.
There are noises ahead, or at least...
The prisoners of the bugbears.
And there's another room just like it not so very far away.
Prisoners of the bugbears part two.
But here's the thing, and so the human prisoners, after a brief chat, are released almost immediately, but for the others, the humanoids...
Well, Sir Glen (played by my mate Dave) has an idea, which may or may not have been gifted to him by the sneaky DM ahead of time.
“These folk should be given the chance to save themselves, and to fight our enemies here for the glory of the Morning Lord!” The paladin states.
Then after several WTF moments, and then about thirty minutes of discussion between the aforementioned sneaky DM and the players well, this is what happens-
The humanoid prisoners, to wit- three kobolds, a goblin, four orcs, three hobgoblins, two gnolls and a rebel bugbear are given a series of re-education lectures, conducted (of course) in a variety of languages.
The gist of the lectures are-
a) The Morning Lord is great (although its only Sir Glen that's promoting this one), it takes first spot here because he does so repeatedly, and vociferously.
And more specifically-
b) The humanoids can earn their freedom by clearing out one of the nearby caverns for the Unexpected. They can even keep any treasure they find.
Note, part b) is expressed in many different (more or less) appealing ways, and by a variety of individuals, from Lappoy's suggestion that any experience gained and riches found would give the newly released prisoner a leg-up in life. To Krago's much less sympathetic- if you survive, you live!
A series of skill checks follow, and here's the thing, I want the PCs to do well because I'm going to get to kill some of these new fellers (that's a certainty). So, six of the PCs make various rolls, and the lowest unadjusted is a '14' (+1 = 15 adjusted) and I set a DC of 15. So, six out of six successes.
The humanoids are buying this horse manure.
The discussion between the players and the DM continues for quite a while, as does the distribution of the humanoids, which goes as follows-
Humanoid Adventurers (in alphabetical order)
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin
Blurt (Rob) Male Orc
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc
Gary (Rob) Male Orc
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin
Kroke (Dave) Male Kobold
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold
So, the above are going adventuring into the cavern into which the last bugbear fled, and they'll be fully equipped(-ish) as the Unexpected (and the newly recruited humanoids) are going to do a sweep of the caves that have been cleared/abandoned, there's lots of stuff still lying around in many of the ex-lairs.
And... if any of the humanoids survive, and in the process generate 500 XP, then they can be a PC, and have a class level, if we can find a way in Fantasy Grounds Unity to make this happen, and I'm pretty certain there'll be a way of doing it.
However, it took a hell of a long time to get all of the above done, over twenty minutes just to name the buggers, and another twenty minutes spent with the players spit-balling about the various classes their prospective humanoid PCs are going to take up. This after they had a chance to look at their stat blocks.
But, that's for next time, possibly this gang will have a name by then, although that too may provoke a few arguments.
Oh, and last thing- all of the N/PCs et al retire back to the gnoll cave and take an extended rest.
The pot is up to £134.
Stay safe and well you lovely people.
Toodles for a bit.
Cheers the Unexpected and goonalan.
The Unforeseen in the Caves of Chaos.
Session #032 Monster Mash.
NPC Humanoids who want to be PCs (in alphabetical order)
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Blurt (Rob) Male Orc.
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc.
Gary (Rob) Male Orc.
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc.
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Kroke (Dave) Male Kobold.
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
PCs (in alphabetical order) NOT IN PLAY ATM
Krago of the Mountains (Pete) Male Mountain Dwarf Ranger (Folk Hero) Level 4.
Lappoy the Unexpected (Rob) Male High Elf Wizard (Sage) Level 4.
Mohag the Wanderer (Pete) Male Human Barbarian (Outlander) Level 4.
Sho-Rembo (Dave) Female Stout Halfling Druid (Hermit) Level 4.
Sir Glen (Dave) Male Human Paladin of Lathander (Noble) Level 4.
Sosspan (Dave) Male Dragonborn Wizard (Spy) Level 4.
Trebbelos (Pete) Male Tiefling Sorcerer (Charlatan) Level 4.
Sidekick (played mostly by the DM) NOT IN PLAY ATM
Scrubs Male Human Sidekick Expert (Soldier) Level 3.
Dead PCs, NPCs & Sidekicks (in alphabetical order)
Afton Barr (Dave) Male Half-Elf Bard (Entertainer) Level 1.
Corbis Male Human Sidekick Warrior (Soldier) Level 2.
Estra Zo (Pete) Female Wood Gnome Rogue (Urchin) Level 1.
Farned of the Leaf Lord (Dave) Male Wild Elf Cleric of Rillifane Rallithil (Acolyte) Level 1.
Tassit (Dave) Female Human Monk (Hermit) Level 1.
The Mystical One (Pete) Female Human Warlock (Outlander) Level 1.
Tribbits Male Human Sidekick Warrior (Soldier) Level 2.
Wormwood Male Human Guard.
Yor (Pete) Male Dragonborn Fighter (Folk Hero) Level 2.
QUESTS (and stuff to do).*
- Find Zelligar and Rogahn's former base, explore it and steal its treasures.
- Find Tolpuddle, the 'mad druid' or 'mad hermit' of the Whispering Woods, he may know where Z&R's base is (see #1 above), also say 'hi' from his brother Bumble.
- Tell Darvon, Priest of Oghma, about the Unexpected's adventures. ONGOING.
- Track down and kill/capture the former bandit leader- Dee Dee Raven (see Mebros, Captain of the Watch).
- Help the water sprites of the Goblinwater River, for Bumble.
- Clear a bunch of spiders out of the Spiderwood, for Bumble.
- Stop the undead attacks in the Whispering Woods, for Bumble.
- Clear the Caves of Chaos for the Castellan of the Keep on the Borderlands, reward 2,500gp plus. IN PROGRESS.
- Find the rest of the Fortune's Five adventuring party- Bullywugs?
Note, we now read this list at the start of each new session, that's what it's like to get old- your memory just stops working.
Note, you can click on the pictures here to make them bigger (if you didn't know this already).
Day 45: Being the 15th Day of Kythorn, in the year 1493 by Dale Reckoning, known as the Year of the Purple Dragons, about midday, a late start after a busy night.
So, here's the set up, the Unexpected have just rescued a bunch of humanoids from the empty bugbear's lair. Then, after much chatter, convinced the newly released prisoners to fight for their freedom.
The humanoids have gathered up enough stuff (from the empty lairs and caverns nearby) to equip the humanoids as standard in the 5e Monster Manual.
Phew, that'll save me some work.
Each player has five humanoid NPCs to play with, that's a lot- but we're not in a rush and besides I have a feeling that not all of these fellows are going to make it out of the cavern alive.
Oh, the humanoid adventurers are exploring the cavern into which the last bugbear standing fled.
They can keep any treasure they find, or else share it out amongst themselves- let's see how that works.
The humanoid NPCs need to earn 500 XP each to gain a class and level, and become a PC.
The XP of any of the humanoids that die in this adventure will be added to the monster XP to be distributed amongst the living.
Did you get that?
It means if you kill your fellow humanoid adventurers then you get a share of the XP, a reward.
The humanoids adventuring NPCs are calling themselves- The Unforeseen, although that may be temporary.
Got it, good- here we go.
A trio of humanoids head into the cavern, alas the two very sneaky types- Pancakes (gnoll) and Limp Bizkit (bugbear) are somewhat hindered by the fact that Hebold is the third of the squad.
Hebold is an immensely fat human, loud and waving a torch about.
The natural cavern revealed is large, and with a high-ceiling, and home to a dozen or more cave crickets- large ones, each of these creatures is about three feet long. They scatter, trying to get away from the light and noise.
Alas in trying to get away one of the giant cave crickets manages to kick Pancakes, the gnoll's not happy and so attempts to stab at the beast (a miss), moments later and Limp Bizkit is also in action (yet another miss). But combat only causes more panic, the crickets scatter some more, while the humanoids on the outside of the cavern want in on the action.
In the following confusion Great Wurley (hobgoblin) gets slammed (Crit) when a giant cave cricket jumps into him. Drongo (orc) charges in and almost manages to kill one of the critters with his greataxe- alas the startled cave cricket attempts to leap to safety, and in doing so breaks the neck of Kroke the kobold.
This event causes much much laughter.
So, first humanoid to die- Kroke the kobold (played by Dave) in the second turn of combat.
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Blurt (Rob) Male Orc.
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc.
Gary (Rob) Male Orc.
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc.
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Hebold goes crazy ape barmy and starts laying into the cave crickets with his greataxe, he too gets kicked in the face (and another Crit) as the insects attempt to flee some more.
Blurt (orc) smashes another cave cricket dead with his greataxe.
Limp Bizkit (bugbear) kills another one, seconds later Gary (orc) ends another, the Unforeseen get into the swing of things- Halfpint (orc) cuts yet another of the annoying hopper's in two.
Hebold gets kicked in the gut again as another cricket hops away, Limp Bizkit slaughters it.
The raging Hebold swats another cave cricket, and again gets kicked as it departs.
Kilminster (hobgoblin) slices a giant cave cricket in two with his longsword.
Blurt (orc) crits with his greataxe but fails to kill another, the cave cricket in question kicks Halfpint (orc) in the unmentionables as it hops off.
Hebold gets kicked again.
Halfpint (orc) smushes another cave cricket.
Boring... boring!
Keep in mind I'm only reporting the hits here, there's a lot of swinging and/or cave cricket kicking going on- and almost as much missing.
Suddenly screaming Burt (orc) shoots up into the air, the orc flails momentarily- something seems be stuck to his back- a rope, or else, he cannot turn to find out- he is being hauled up. That is until he comes to an abrupt halt- a large chitinous pincer clamps down on him. The now screaming and cursing orc is facing a strange lobster/crab like creature, whish is situated on a (formerly) well-hidden ledge above the action.
Later the cave fisher will get identified.
Pop Tart & Pancakes (gnolls) react immediately and fire arrows into the hard-to-hit predator, just to say they needed something like a '17' to hit it with concealment, which both of the buggers managed to roll.
Blurt (orc) eventually gets himself situated, and facing his cave fisher enemy, seconds later the orc somehow manages to swipe at the beast with his greataxe.
Bad Pudding (goblin) also manages to shoot the beast with his shortbow, Limp Bizkit (bugbear) flings a javelin into it.
Halfpint (orc) attempts to climb up to the cave fisher's ledge, he doesn't even get started.
Tik-Tok (kobold) hits the cave fisher with its sling- and a Crit, the beast is bloodied.
But it's not enough, the cave fisher hits and Crits Blurt (orc) with its pincers, decapitating the orc and snipping of its limbs to consume later.
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc.
Gary (Rob) Male Orc.
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc.
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Blurt (orc) is dead, and his fellow orcs, and the assorted humanoid crowd below, are showered in blood and viscera.
They're not happy.
Pop Tart (gnoll) sinks another arrow into the beast, while Bad Pudding (goblin) shoots another one of the fleeing and badly wounded cave cricket's dead.
Gary (orc) manages to scramble up onto the ledge with the cave fisher, and then start hacking at beast with its greataxe.
A confused cave cricket, heading in the wrong direction, slams into Hebold, the human berserker takes another Crit-hit (he's bloodied).
Note, Hebold (played by Rob) is mostly voiced in slow german, and oddly, I think I remember him shouting (and forgive any spelling mistakes, and lack of umlauts)-
“Wie spat ist es, Uli?”
While attempting to smash another cave cricket to pieces.
Tik-Tok & Panko (kobolds) both ding the cave fisher with sling stones, the beast is critically wounded and wants to get away.
Note, I bet you are thinking that these guys are on fire here- they're not, if I was to write up all of the missing going on then this text would be three times as long.
The cave fisher grabs up Gary (orc) in its pincers, crushes the humanoid a little, and then starts spider climbing its way towards the high ceiling of the cavern.
It doesn't get far, Pop Tart (gnoll) slams yet another arrow into the beast, which instantly detaches from the wall (dead) and with Gary (orc) still in hand/pincer it falls forty feet to the cavern floor, bouncing off the ledge on the way down.
Remarkably Gary (orc) survives the ordeal, although he's really not very healthy (on approx. four hit points). Alas Drongo (orc) is now also in the same dire situation (down to four hit points), as the cave fisher (and Gary) fall on him, but he survives- just.
Hebold is in his own private hell, the big berserker cuts down two more giant cave crickets (Crit & roll max damage on both dice- why not).
“Hast du ein hansaplast, mein bein is gebrocken?” He screams.
Pancakes (gnoll) shoots another cave cricket dead.
Kilminster (hobgoblin) following after the gnoll gets to the end of the passage only to discover there's a deep but narrow ravine, and another larger bare cavern chamber over the other side of it, in which there are yet more giant cave crickets. The hobgoblin shoots the closest of the giant insects, which immediately starts off another hopping panic.
Littlehampton (hobgoblin) rushes down the passage and just (DC exactly) leaps across the ravine to stab at the cave cricket- alas a miss.
THUNK, a stalactite falls from the ceiling narrowly missing Littlehampton (hobgoblin)- it's a piercer!
A badly wounded Gary (orc) also attempts to leap across into the newly revealed chamber, he fails to do so and falls forty feet to the bottom of the ravine, neck broken and he's dead.
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc.
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc.
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Halfpint (orc) leaps the chasm, again- just.
Meantime the piercer that just failed to impale Littlehampton (hobgoblin) rights itself and starts crawling away- heading back for the wall.
A cave cricket leaps/slams into Halfpint (orc) who is now also very heavily wounded, alas the impact is enough to send the orc spinning backwards and... into the ravine.
Halfpint nestles at the bottom of the crevasse with Gary- dead, also.
Just for info here's the rota-
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc.
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Both Dave and Rob have lost two of their humanoid NPCs each, Pete is replete- he still has all five of his.
Then, inevitably, Drongo attempts to leap the chasm and... that's another orc dead, Dave has only got his two gnolls- Pancakes & Pop Tart left in play.
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Hebold, in the mean time- accompanied by Tik-Tok (kobold) and Bad Pudding (goblin) is still chasing two of the cave crickets down that fled from the very first chamber. He keeps hitting and then rolling '1' damage.
Kilminster (hobgoblin) meantime, is still on his own over the other side of the ravine, he heads forward to chop the slow-moving piercer to pieces, and even though he's taking every precaution a second piercer silently falls and spears the armoured brute. Kilminster goes from full to one hit point left only.
Limp Bizkit (bugbear) leaps the ravine and gets into action, or rather misses his attack on one of the piercers here, this is getting ugly- yet another piercer falls and impales the now screaming bugbear.
To make matters worse another of the cave crickets in a panic jumps and slams into him, and then another falling piercer slams into the ground just to the side of Limp Bizkit (bugbear).
This isn't going well.
And yet another piercer slams into the cavern floor only inches away from Littlehampton (hobgoblin).
Note the various remaining hobgoblins and gnolls are taking it in turns to take pot shots at the various piercers (and the last three cave crickets) in the cavern across the chasm.
They're not leaping over there.
There are piercers- lots of them.
Hard rain!
Littlehampton (hobgoblin) cuts down a fleeing cave cricket.
Hebold barrels past the other humanoids and leaps the chasm easily, and then starts swinging still in a frenzy- he keeps on missing.
Meantime at least three of the fallen piercers have made it to back to the walls of the cavern and scooch away, to safety.
Kilminster (hobgoblin) however takes a piercer down, that's the first of the stony little protrusions to fall, as it were.
Littlehampton (hobgoblin) takes down another of the scooching piercers.
Great Wurley (hobgoblin) takes down the last fleeing cave cricket with his bow.
The cavern falls to silence, well almost, just the sound of one last piercer scooching back up the wall over the far side.
The encounter is, at last, o...
Another piercer falls, hits & Crits, as it impales itself in Limp Bizkit (bugbear) the big lad is almost broken (on 2 hit points) and in a frightful bate.
Seconds later a second piercer falls and misses Littlehampton by inches, the hobgoblin is wavering on just one hit point. Hebold's greataxe cuts into the little spikey bastard.
Pancakes (gnoll) shoots it, as does Kilminster (hobgoblin) and that's a Crit- another piercer is spent.
There's just one piercer left trying to snail its way to the nearest wall and freedom (and none still on the roof of the cavern, I promise). Littlehampton rushes over and slices it, Panko (kobold) slams it with a sling bullet.
But the lone piercer is getting away (at 10 feet/turn), it's halfway to the wall- the amount of swinging and missing here is just... comedy. Littlehampton cuts it again (for minimum damage- that's not helping), Hebold slices it with his greataxe- and the thing is almost spent.
Moments later Hebold catches up with the thing again and crushes it...
The fight is over...
But no, it really isn't, because the magnificent sweating Hebold has now entered the ultimate state of frenzy, he cannot stop fighting.
Hebold decapitates Littlehampton (hobgoblin) and now there is trouble.
Hebold the Berserker has, well... gone berserk. Who would have thought it.
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Let's just take a moment.
Hebold, played by Rob, has gone crazy- I primed the player that this might happen before the game, Rob was okay with this- funny that.
No-one even suggests subduing or else talking down the maniac.
Pancakes (gnoll) makes his decision, and then quickly fires an arrow into Hebold, and its a Crit, the sweating berserker is now heavily wounded.
Kilminster (hobgoblin) follows suit, although no Crit- minimum damage.
Limp Bizkit (bugbear) rushes forward and slams his morningstar into Hebold, the big man is now critically wounded.
Tik-Tok & Panko (kobolds) both hit the berserker with sling stones, and still the brute stands, just to say Hebold started with 70-something hit points.
But then Great Wurley (hobgoblin) sinks an arrow in to the back of the man-monster's head.
Game over!
Or at least that's the fighting over, although the new rota for the Unforeseen is looking a little threadbare, here's the present line-up-
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
So, that's right- there are eight NPC wannabe-PC humanoids left, and five of them are Pete's, Rob only has one kobold left in the game, Dave has a pair of gnolls.
There was some talk about redistributing the party members, but Pete wasn't having any of that- I believe his response was something about sex & travel.
The humanoids retire to the first cavern to take a rest, and to spend some healing HD, we're going to use them like PCs do so a 2d6-2 kobold has two 1d6-1 healing HD to spend. Note, I didn't plan to do this, the situation dictated, or else I'm just all heart and I want to give them a chance.
Then XP distribution, the session isn't finishing until this gets done, all of the players want to see how far they are to PC status, remember they each need to earn 500 XP.
So, first off- dead party members, remember I said the XP for these would count, and so-
Kroke (kobold) 25 XP
Blurt, Drongo, Gary & Halfpint (orcs) 100 XP x 4 = 400 XP
Littlehampton (hobgoblin) 100 XP
Hebold (berserker) 450 XP
Total 975 XP
Monsters killed-
Giant Cave Cricket 25 XP x 11 = 275 XP
Piercer 100 XP x 4 = 400 XP
Cave Fisher 450 XP
Total 1125 XP
Grand Total 2100 XP/8 = 263 XP each.
The NPCs are only just over halfway, we'll do the rest of this cavern (fingers-crossed) next time, after the short rest and healing et al.
And that's all she wrote, it took us over three hours to get the above fight played out, and nearly twenty turns of action. The players are less impressed than they thought they would be, the reason, the monsters are so underpowered, from what they are used to with their PCs.
They just keep on missing.
Don't get me wrong, it was a lot of fun when it was a lot of fun, but- lots of rolling, lots of missing.
The pot is up to £138.
Stay safe and well you lovely people.
Toodles for a bit.
Cheers the Unexpected/Unforeseen and goonalan.
GAME OVER MAN!
Or maybe not.
In truth the last two updates I posted were from way back when... they took place more than two or three months ago.
The reason?
Well, Dave is unwell, and has been unwell for a while- in hospital type unwell, he's back to the real world now but... he has a way to go yet, and wont be back in game for a bit, if ever.
So, after a suitable period of mourning we decided to continue with the game, but just Pete and Rob in action.
But then Pete dropped his bombshell, he had accepted a contract to go and work in... Africa, and so would be unavailable to play D&D for the next six months or so.
Then, about ten days later- Pete departed.
So, game over- or else we're on hold until Dave's back on his feet, and Pete gets a good internet connection, and has the space and time (zone) to play.
I've got a new game though, I may write that one up.
Thanks for reading, sorry about the hiatus/full stop- life!
Stay safe and well you lovely people.
Cheers goonalan.
Seriously, though, as disappointing as this news might be to those of us who have been enjoying your writeups, life does have a way of continuing to do what it's going to do, despite whatever plans we might have made otherwise. Here's hoping a speedy (full) recovery for Dave and safe travels for Pete.
And I'll just keep an eye out for your next Story Hour thread, because I have little doubt it'll be equally entertaining.
Best to all!
Johnathan
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